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I’ve spent the last 10 years gathering questions on my shelf. I started as a teenager, wondering why our religion was the one, true religion when so many other people had the same spiritual witness that they had the truth. I wondered about whether God was a necessary precondition for our existence. I thought a lot about a lot of things. On my mission, I learned a lot and experienced a lot. I felt some things that led me to believe that I was doing the right thing. My favorite song was “A Child’s Prayer” _ “Heavenly Father, are you really there?” I would often sing to myself. The hardest question anybody ever asked me on my mission is still in my head, and I haven’t been able to find an answer: “Why do you need Jesus to be forgiven? You can just pray to god and ask him to forgive you and he’ll do it.”
I got married shortly after my mission. I was actually planning on waiting several years before I got married, but then I found somebody that made me want to not wait. If this hadn’t happened when it did, then I probably would have slipped out of the church.
I’m to a point now where I just can’t accept and reconcile a literal viewpoint anymore. I started out in life believing in creationism and a young earth (thanks Dad
🙂 ), and even managed to escape a biology 1010 class believing in “micro, not macro,” although in retrospect I’m not sure how well evolution was covered in my smallish Utah college. After studying it some more on my own, I am completely convinced that life did evolve on Earth, and that I am descended from a fish (among other things). The problem I have with this is that, although the LDS church takes no official stance on evolution, I just can’t see how evolution can be true and Adam and Eve were the first people put here on Earth by God.It’s not just Adam and Eve that I have trouble accepting literally. Noah’s Ark, the tower of Babel, Jaredites, Nephites/Lamanites, the Book of Abraham, etc. all have aspects that I just can’t accept literally anymore. This leaves me wondering what could possibly be left, and if a non-literal interpretation can have enough meaning and truth to be worth it.
My wife has an idea of where I’m at, although she might not know the depth of my questions. She’s far more of a chapel mormon than I am (never really read scripture outside of references in church manuals), and I don’t want to hurt her with too much at once. We’ve been lazy about church attendance for the last 5 years that we’ve been married, but we’ve still usually attended at a minimum once a month. She has told me that she wants to go all (full attendance, magnify callings, regular temple trips) or nothing, but I think that she would be unhappy (ie feel guilty) with a decision to be less active.
I also want to do what’s best for my children. I think that I could do a lot worse than raising them in the church. If I can find a way to understand the church on a metaphorical level then I think that staying in the church could be a good thing for all of us. I feel an almost compulsive need to know the truth, but maybe the truth about the church is that if it makes us happy, gives our lives a spiritual aspect, and gives my children a good framework then it doesn’t need to literally be true.
I think that I’m past a lot of the anger/confusion from finding out some of the things I know about church history, conflicting theology from apostles/prophets, really weird stuff in the Bible, etc., and I’m really just wanting to find some faith/meaning in what’s left.
Hi Amertune. I’m rushing out the door so I don’t have near enough time to do more than welcome you and say “hang in there” but you bring up some interesting issues and I’d love to see you start threads to discuss them!
In the meantime, bienvenido!
MnG
As everyone here knows, my immediate reaction is to think of posts in our archives that deal with issues new people bring up – and that drives some people nuts, but it’s me. 
So, after saying welcome officially, I would suggest looking through some of the older posts and reading what has been shared by others here. I do that periodically, myself, and it is a blessing when I do it.
Yes and no. Demyth some of it, but not all of it.
In these times, we often forget myth is valuable. It forms great parables, and lessons etc. Some people take this out of Star Wars/Trek/LOTR etc, which proves that we still need them maybe.
amertune wrote:I feel an almost compulsive need to know the truth…
Have you considered that “truth” is greatly dependent on our point of view…that we see through a glass darkly, and perhaps we never fully know it all in this life?
I’m not saying there is no truth to be found, and the compulsive need to find it is a bad thing…on the contrary, I think it is a great thing and provides meaning as we seek it in this life. I’m just suggesting patience, as you come to grips with the possibility that it is a never ending journey as you practice the small pieces of truth you find a piece at a time, instead of focusing on wanting the whole puzzle picture all at once.
amertune wrote:maybe the truth about the church is that if it makes us happy, gives our lives a spiritual aspect, and gives my children a good framework then it doesn’t need to literally be true.
…very well said. I like that tune! Such a perspective can open up whole new meanings to the things you’ve been taught in the past! Christ didn’t teach us in scientific facts, did He? There is something to be said for embracing that, IMO.
Sam said it well…
SamBee wrote:Demyth some of it, but not all of it.
Stay patient, go slow, and keep sharing your thoughts with the group. I appreciate your perspective.
You said, “My favorite song was “A Child’s Prayer” _ “Heavenly Father, are you really there?” I would often sing to myself. “ I still do this. I find comfort in it I guess.
Welcome. There is a wealth of information here. I hope you find what you are looking for.
CG
I think part of the problem is that so many people are taking the Genesis account of Adam and Eve so literally – and I am INCLUDING Richard Dawkins, and the Skeptics here. They read it literally too, and are desperately trying to polarize the debate. Welcome. And welcome to the world of not knowing anything. For me, not knowing anything beats the heck out of knowing stuff that doesn’t quite add up. IMO, the degree of your success in making this work, whatever ‘this’ ends up being, is having your spouse on board. But having entered on this road, I think you are required to see it through, one way or another.
Quote:I also want to do what’s best for my children. I think that I could do a lot worse than raising them in the church.
That is very true. For the most part, the church has been a great influence on my children. You could do much worse. Perhaps you could do better. Your choice, I think, will depend on your family situation, and taking all things into consideration, doing the least harm to your own faith and to those you love.
doug wrote:Welcome. And welcome to the world of not knowing anything. For me, not knowing anything beats the heck out of knowing stuff that doesn’t quite add up.
This definitely explains my life so far. The more I learn, the more I learn that I don’t really know anything. It keeps me humble.
amertune wrote:doug wrote:Welcome. And welcome to the world of not knowing anything. For me, not knowing anything beats the heck out of knowing stuff that doesn’t quite add up.
This definitely explains my life so far.
The more I learn, the more I learn that I don’t really know anything.It keeps me humble. Me too. I am about as agnostic as a LDS member can get. I just don’t know.
Welcome to StayLDS.
amertune wrote:…all have aspects that I just can’t accept literally anymore. This leaves me wondering what could possibly be left, and if a non-literal interpretation can have enough meaning and truth to be worth it.
All I can say is it does for me. If you search for it, I can only believe you can find “enough” for you too. I think it takes a real desire to find that. From my perspective those with the desire to find it do, and those who can get along without it also do. I REALLY wanted to find it — and I honestly have. In the beginning and still to some extent I had to sit in church consciously asking “where is the symbolic meaning in this for me?” Don’t settle for nothing, keep looking until you find something.
There are also a handful of books by prominent thinking Mormons that helped me a great deal. I hold tight to the nuggets that I find, like where Leonard Arrington said basically ‘I was never concerned about the literal truth of these religious items’ but it is the spiritual truths that the symbols point to that really matter. The subculture can be overly literalistic, try to break that free from your own spirituality and nurture a “new and improved” image of the gospel.
Welcome! Glad you found us!
Orson wrote:There are also a handful of books by prominent thinking Mormons that helped me a great deal. I hold tight to the nuggets that I find, like where Leonard Arrington said basically ‘I was never concerned about the literal truth of these religious items’ but it is the spiritual truths that the symbols point to that really matter. The subculture can be overly literalistic, try to break that free from your own spirituality and nurture a “new and improved” image of the gospel.
Great post Orson! I also think your signature line summarizes well how additional value can be found.
Hi amertune, Welcome to StayLDS. So many nuggets of wisdom exchanged at the trading post here. I’ll just add a hearty “+1” to it all.
🙂
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