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squarepeg wrote:
I found that every option I looked at had either too little baby, or too much bathwater or both, but your baby and bathwater will look different from mine, so don’t be deterred from searching! Even though I’ve come full circle and crawled back to the LDS church in which I was raised, like the dog to his vomit (j/k!!!), I will never stop searching. There is always more beauty (I won’t say “truth”) out there waiting to be discovered. I hope that you find much joy in the journey.
Good observation. After what I have been through in the LDS church, I don’t think I could be any more than a benchwarmer in other churches.
I have seen that the tendency to put organizational interests WAY ahead of individual ones, even when such individual consideration is supposed to be at the heart of the religion (“the key to 99 is the 1”). In my travels outside the church, I noticed the same thing happens in other organizations. The easy part of this in OTHER organizations is this — they haven’t made claims to a divine commission, Christ at its head, the “only true church” so it’s easy for me to hold them to a lower standard than the LDS church.
So,. for me, there’s a ton of baby and bathwater everywhere. The problem, for me, is the bathwater is far more than I can handle in a church that claims to have direct access to the purest wellspring out there…
I would say this site has helped me stay. When I first found it (I started reading maybe 3 years ago?) I felt like a heretic and stopped looking for a while. Then I came back to it when I was in a really angry stage and felt like I was the only one in the world that saw the church for what it really was. It really helped me to chill out when I saw that I wasn’t the only one like this. And then I finally started posting a while ago and though I haven’t written much, it is also helpful to have a place to put questions and engage and know it will be supported. I don’t know that I will be mormon forever, but if I ever leave it won’t be because of the site. If I stay for a while longer (and I plan to), it is certainly aided by this site. I never saw it as a gateway to leaving. The purpose of this forum was definitely what i needed. I was never here for long or a super active poster (my norm for all forums) but this place helped me see things better and how to deal with them. Also some one on one conversations through PM with people who could empathize with me helped immensely. I still read from time to time but right now I’m battling depression, trying to come to terms with the fact that what I’ve done leaves me almost no future for a family/relationship and struggle through engineering school. I still go to church but it’s at 9 and half the time I can’t drag myself out of bed even though I just lay there til noon.
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