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Greetings from the Great White North. I have been lurking for the last month or so trying to decide if this is the place for me. My journey to this board is perhaps a little unusual when compared to others, but it is my hope that I can find the sense of community here that I find lacking in my ward and the church in general.
So let me give you a very abridged version my my journey.
I was raised in a small LDS community where at least 80%, if not more, of the population are LDS. The thing is I wasn’t LDS. This led to all sorts of issues for me growing up that I won’t delve into at this time (unless someone wants to hear the details). In short, while I had several LDS friends and a very small handful of adults in my life who were positive examples in the living the Gospel, I developed a strong disdain for the “church and church culture”. After I moved away to go to university I began to learn how to separate the gospel from the people and was baptized at 19. I later met my wife and was married in the temple nearly 18 years ago. We have 3 wonderful sons and the oldest has recently become a deacon. My DW could be classified as a TBM but is not ultra orthodox. She says that being married to me has helped her to see the world from a broader viewpoint. Our relationship has been far from the normal when looking at it from the LDS perspective. We both are university educated and my wife has a professional designation as an accountant. To accomplish this we have alternated who has the role of stay-at-home spouse over the years. During the last 3 years we have chosen to focus on her career as her earning potential exceeds mine. As such I only work part-time or on temporary contracts in order to ensure that one of us is around for our children before and after school as well as during the summer months. That being said I have no problem with individuals who choose, either by necessity or simply for other reasons, to use additional child care.
So why am I here? In short, while I have a firm testimony of the gospel I still struggle with the church and it’s people. I find it odd at times that I can accept/rationalize many of the controversial aspects of the doctrine as well as the attitudes and behaviors of early (and sometimes current)church leaders (i.e. BY, JS jr, BKP, etc) but I have little patience for the regular members. I have always felt like an outsider at church and have had many unpleasant things happen to me at the hands of supposedly good and faithful LDS people (this includes former employers). I do not wish to go in to the details here regarding this time but some very nasty things have been done to me and my family by every day members, EQP, BP and SP.
These feelings are intensified by the fact that I am very liberal thinking when compared to the average member, but my many non-LDS friends and family find me to be fairly conservative. As such, when it comes to issues surrounding gender roles and same sex attraction, not to mention nearly every other social issue of our day I find my self firmly on the opposite side of the majority of members.
So why am I here? I need somewhere that I can ask questions about how I am feeling concerning many things and I value the input of others to evaluate my reasoning and to help me see different perspectives. I need somewhere I can occasionally rant about my very TBM in-laws. I need somewhere that I can feel that it is okay not to be a cookie-cutter Mormon and that I am at least accepted for my uniqueness.
Well, that is the general gist of who I am. I look forward to getting to know everyone better.
I’m sorry for bad things that have happened to you in the church. Unlike we you’ve lived in small LDS community, I lived in a northern section of Illinois where members of the LDS Church are a minority for most of my life, except for my mission in Nevada in April ’98-2000. I do some problems with the church, although I am bit more orthodox than you. Over the last two years or so, my religious and spiritual have become a little more unorthodox. I’m still active in my ward with two callings. I’ve visited other churches and do research other religions from time to time, but I feel mostly at peace with the LDS Church. Anyway, welcome. I look forward to hearing your comments and experiences you would like to share. Again welcome. By the way, you mentioned the Great White North. I had two mission couples from there. My mission had quite a few Canadians. Welcome. I think it is hard to be liberal, politically in the church, especially with respect to marriage equality. For me, this issue has become the major disaffecting element, and while I stay within the tent, I often question why.
Each person’s journey is unique. An ancient chinese sage said the Way is made by walking on it, making each person’s way a little different from others — yet at the intersections in the journey, we can fare the way together.
i look forward to reading your experiences.
Canucknuckle, thank you for the introduction & welcome to the group. You said the following:
Quote:I have always felt like an outsider at church and have had many unpleasant things happen to me at the hands of supposedly good and faithful LDS people (this includes former employers).
This sounds very familiar to alot of us. You are not alone.
One thing that helps me is, we sit in the back of the Chapel during sacrament meetings. We find that there are a number of people (members & investigators) that seem to feel alone like an outsider. It is this group I can identify the most. So, we try to be our own (unofficial) welcoming committe to this group.
Keep coming back. We want to hear more from you.
Mike from Milton.
I can relate fully to having some issues with the people. I’ve had them several times in my life and its the people that have posed big stumbling blocks for me. The culture also gets me, I’ve learned. But I’m still active in the Ward and have a calling teaching others. My daughter and wife are Traditional believers and my son is a blank slate right now. Welcome to the discussion forum — looking forward to your questions and seeing if we can broaden each others’ perspectives in tandem.
Welcome. I hope we can help you, and you can help us. I kept waiting for the unusual part… LOL observant wrote:I kept waiting for the unusual part… LOL
Well maybe I’m not that unusual then
What I thought was a little different for me was that my issues with church are less spiritual/doctrinal and more people based.
🙂 Canucknuckle wrote:I need somewhere that I can ask questions about how I am feeling concerning many things and I value the input of others to evaluate my reasoning and to help me see different perspectives.
Check
:thumbup:
Canucknuckle wrote:I need somewhere I can occasionally rant about my very TBM in-laws.
Check
:thumbup:
Canucknuckle wrote:I need somewhere that I can feel that it is okay not to be a cookie-cutter Mormon and that I am at least accepted for my uniqueness.
Check
:thumbup: Welcome aboard!
Quote:What I thought was a little different for me was that my issues with church are less spiritual/doctrinal and more people based
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This is a very diverse group of people and many of us fall into the people based issues category. Welcome!
Welcome. Sounds like you belong and will fit in just fine. The end.
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