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While driving home from Utah where we spent a wonderfull thanksgiving with my DD and her family, my wife and I listened to the Mormon Matters podcast on Question 7 of the Temple Recommend.The one thing that really stood out was when one of the participants was talking about a phone call Eugen England’s father received from Hugh B. Brown when he (England) was a temple president. Pres England had called the FP about a problem. He said that a young couple had come to the temple for their endowments, and then was scheduled to get married/sealed in the temple the next week. Pres England said they after they were endowed, they did something (he did not say what) that made them unworthy to get sealed the following week. He asked Pres Brown what to do.
Pres Brown replied: “It is better to break a rule than to break a heart, let them get sealed” Wow! What a Christ like attitude! Why can’t we have leaders like this today? This is the same FP that sent a letter to Temple Presidents telling them that the one year requirement from civil marriage to sealing could be waived if one of the couple had non-member family that wanted to participate in the wedding.
Quote:Pres Brown replied: “It is better to break a rule than to break a heart, let them get sealed” Wow! What a Christ like attitude! Why can’t we have leaders like this today?
I am with you Sheldon – Why can’t we? It seems like we always just get a sprinkling of them – an Uchtdorf, an Okazaki, a Brown, a MacKay – but never full hand at one time. Makes me sad.
Hugh B. Brown is one of my Mormon hero’s.
I honestly think we do have leaders like this today. It’s the roulette for sure, but there are wise people in leadership roles that get it. I have seen it with both my daughters at BYU-Idaho and Provo. Leaders in one instance did the right thing, in another did the wrong thing. And life goes on. Interesting thing is that same leader might, in a different situation, might have a couple cancel the wedding/sealing … to teach them a greater lesson on humility or something. When the Spirit is telling them to do things…you never know if they’ll break the rule, or break hearts.
I like the leaders that show compassion. I don’t know why we think too much compassion is weakness.
Someone quite close to me had a Bishop who was a hardliner and who spelled out a tough path to full reinstatement in the Church. That person moved and got a new Bishop who listened, sympathized, cared individually and completely rewrote the former Bishop’s requirements. We have leaders who understand that wise statement and those who don’t. Personalities are different, and leadership roulette is real. Fortunately, I really do believe the balance has shifted substantially in the direction of that quote over the last generation and will continue to do so.
I agree that we have them, I agree that leader roulette exists. I guess I took the statement to be a top-down statement. It is where my response pointed to. Looking back at the Hinckley years the team of leadership just sort of fell in line behind him. I guess in my fantasy leadership team, everyone would line up and make huge Uchtdorf type pushes and policies. I worry that the water that needs to flow down the pipes is so slow in coming we will lose more than we gain in the process. Most who are walking aren’t walking because they are lazy, they are hurting, they were inspired by possibilities that don’t seem to see any fruition. My heart aches for us a religion in that area.
I do see much good, I see efforts, I have great hopes – but I also don’t want to wait till my kids are my age for the better part of our purpose to come shining through. I’ll keep my optimism, I will also hold out hope that much larger strides will be made sooner than later.
Yes, I too think we do have some leaders like this today. I just wish we had more! Quote:
Pres Brown replied: “It is better to break a rule than to break a heart, let them get sealed” Wow! What a Christ like attitude! Why can’t we have leaders like this today? This is the same FP that sent a letter to Temple Presidents telling them that the one year requirement from civil marriage to sealing could be waived if one of the couple had non-member family that wanted to participate in the wedding.Phenomenal!!!
I listened to that podcast and I also thought, “Wow – I would LOVE to have those sorts of leaders.” Not to say in every case just turning a blind eye to someone doing wrong, but looking at the big picture. Disallowing them to be married/sealed in the temple could have very easily created so much shame that they would try an distance themselves from the church. After being given this “pass” I would hope that this couple learned to be merciful of others failings in their life going forward. I mentioned something in this other thread a day or two ago about a leader that I think has it right
http://forum.staylds.com/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=6122&p=84071#p84071 ” class=”bbcode_url”> http://forum.staylds.com/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=6122&p=84071#p84071 I have wondered a bit as to why some people are hard-nosed and others just seem to be more forgiving. Generally the more loving the less hard-nosed, but not completely. I do recall hearing that most people think of the temperament of God the same way as their parents were. If you have a hard-nosed set of parents, you somewhat think of God as having the same temperament. So even if you are a loving person, but had hard-nosed parents, you might feel as a leader that God expects you to be hard-nosed.
Having been in a few bishoprics and even though I have had some very good bishops to work with, I REALLY think the church needs to have a more formal training for bishops. If you have listened to the John Dehlin podcasts on religiosity
http://mormonstories.org/?s=scrupulosityhttp://mormonstories.org/?s=scrupulosity” class=”bbcode_url”> A lot of hard nosers (I consider myself a recovering hard noser) view their role as a teacher via tough love. This came naturally to me, maybe because my parents were also hard nosers or maybe I viewed God as a nard noser (think Old Testament fire and brimstone). Being forgiving, compassionate, non-judgemental has been harder for me because I felt it was weak and unfaithful. I was a handbook kind of guy because it provided structure and direct answers. It is much harder to be work issues case by case instead of a one size fits all set of rules that must be followed at all costs. I love Brown’s comment. It’s one that stuck out to me as well when I listened to that podcast. Tough love might work for some people but I think the majority just need compassionate love. The world is tough enough as it is.
The statement above is compassionate, for sure. To be commended, but it’s not universal though. Like. I will try to remember this. I would observe that this bishop is the rarest of the rare. I would hope that were I a bishop I would see things the same way. On another thread someone said he considers himself a recovering hard liner. I could say that about myself, too – I was once very black and white and very much a strict obedience kind of guy. Sometimes I still feel those twinges – but I resist them.
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