I’ve been asked to perform a baptism

[Anonymous]

OK. This has gone further than I anticipated — and am comfortable with.

Some of you now my daughter has friended a very nice teen who wants to be baptized. She had her lesson today and still wants to be baptized. There were problems with the competence of the missionaries, but I have a solution for that (speak to their zone leader and see if a split can be arranged).

The biggest issue is that this YW wants me to perform the baptism and Gift of HG. Apparently she is comfortable with me and feels she can share her life situation with me — a consideration in having me baptize her, apparently. This may be easier as our geographical Bishop apparently likes me and I wouldn’t require a recommend of any kind to baptize, that I’m aware of…

There are a number of issues:

1. My own commitment. I never pictured myself as an ordinance performer in recent years, unless things changed in my spiritual life. And they haven’t… I suppose I could do the baptism as its an Aaronic Priesthood ordinance. I wouldn’t feel unworthy, but it certainly is outside of my comfort zone right now.

2. The new CHI says that a Bishop may require me to be a TR-holder holder to perform the Gift of HG. Not there yet. Don’t want to raise the issue either or even have to ask to do it. I’m comfortable being shut out of doing MP ordinances, but to ask to do one is a bit of an issue for me right now.

3. We don’t attend our Ward, and apparently, our Ward missionaries are the ones teaching this Young Women, in my home. They will want to baptize her in this Ward, that we don’t attend. I suppose we could baptize her there and then have her attend our out-of-bounds Ward.

There are likely solutions to these issues, but as an “unorthodox Mormon” who is not really involved in the church as much, it sure is a sort of dislocating wrench in my peaceful existence.

Thoughts on how to manage this, for the good of the YW, my daughter’s perception of me as her father, and my own situation?

[Anonymous]

If at all possible, participate.

There is nothing in the handbook that forbids you from doing it, especially the baptism. I would talk with the Bishop right away, mention that the girl wants you to perform the baptism and confirmation but that you think there should be someone else who does the confirmation, in order to share the opportunities. Make him bring up any concerns – and make him go against her wishes.

I would explain to the girl and your daughter that you would love to baptize her but that you would like another member to share in the experience and do the confirmation.

[Anonymous]

Old-Timer wrote:

…. and make him go against her wishes.

Not sure what you mean by that part above in quotes. I think you mean to let external forces be the reason I don’t confer, not my own reluctance. Correct?

I see the best thing is to hold the baptism in our Ward, and then continue the fellowshipment she is receiving in the non-geographical Ward my daughter attends. The friends she has made in our non-geographical Ward can attend her baptism in our own Ward.

I also think the competence problem with the missionaries could bring in a different missionary that has better interpersonal skills — this could help her forge a bond with someone other than myself, who could potentially do the Gift of HG part. Also, my daughter is exposing this YW (she’s almost 18) to other good kids in a different stake. There may be time for other friendships to develop that could encourage their involvement, rather than mine.

I’ve had an hour to think about this. I don’t think I’d be upset if the Bishop denied me the opportunity to to confer the Gift of HG. It’s not something I necessarily WANT to do. If he let me do it, I wouldn’t have a problem with it, and if he forbids me — well, those are his rules. I’m comfortable with them. It’s the price of not having a TR. In a way, not being disturbed by it is part of co-existing comfortably in the church…

I will see how this settles upon me. It’s quite an out of the blue development…thanks for your input.

[Anonymous]

SD:

What a huge honor to be asked.

I’m hoping you do the baptism .. Please keep us informed.

[Anonymous]

amateurparent wrote:

SD:

What a huge honor to be asked.

I’m hoping you do the baptism .. Please keep us informed.

Thanks….I’m not sure how I feel about it. A while ago, Mormonism was something I wouldn’t actively encourage in others, and now I am facilitating a lifetime of it (potentially) in someone who is very young. I do think it would be good for her, given her situation and hopes and dreams…perhaps that is my motive for enduring any discomfort. I believe in serving others, and sometimes, that takes sacrifice.

[Anonymous]

What I mean is to assume you can perform the baptism and talk with the Bishop with that assumption. If it isn’t going to happen, make him be the one who causes it not to happen. I think he will accept it and move forward, but that is his decision, not ours. Just let him know she has asked you.

I am proud of you, for what that’s worth. You have approached all of this in a very mature and balanced way.

[Anonymous]

Ray said:

Quote:

I am proud of you, for what that’s worth. You have approached all of this in a very mature and balanced way.

Ditto. My only recommendation: Don’t over think it. Enjoy the moment for what it is. You are participating in an

ordinance that John the Baptist perform for JC. A young woman who you care for, has asked you to perform the

ordinance. This is more between God & the YW. Again, Enjoy the moment.

[Anonymous]

For SD and many others, I also am glad to have a group of folks that are good people that I can learn as I watch them struggle with issues not being a TBM.

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone — the support is deeply appreciated. One thing that is helping is the symbolism, independent of doctrine of being baptized to this young woman. She looks at it as a break with her family tradition, and those things in her upbringing she wants to leave behind. Whether in the church, or out of the church, it is a watershed moment. Taken with Minyon’s comment that its between her and God primarily, it makes this much less uncomfortable, at least in this moment I am writing.

Much must occur before she is actually baptized, but she seems pretty committed — almost impatient with the church hoops (discussions, as she already knows the doctrine), even though her family is giving neutral approval…let’s see what happens.

This is one of the reasons I am on the “options open” plan of staying LDS. You never know when life circumstances like these might alter or soften your perspective. We are changing beings, and what I believed 20 years ago is not what I believe today Who is to say that what I believe now, will be part of my belief system 3, 5, 10 or 20 years from now???

[Author]

Posts