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A new user registered recently. It sounds like this may be a bit touchy. I sent them an email explaining our site mission and goals, with an invitation to contact me if he has specific questions or concerns he doesn’t want to post in the public forums. Wanted to give everyone the heads up to watch for this person. They sound like they are more TBM and need more care in handling. Ray? If he contacts me, I will include you in the loop. Justification Text:
“One of the members of our ward has stopped coming to Church and mentioned to a friend that StayLDS was a site that she visited and I assume that some of the content added to her dissatisfaction. I would like to see some of the topics discussed. Jeff”
I was intending to write the exact same post you just did, Brian, after reading his justification statement. Do you want to mention to him the existence of the anti-Mormon site over at -.org? There is a chance the member in question stumbled onto that site and thought it was us.
Also, do you want to mention this to SilentDawning, wayfarer, cwald, etc – some of the regulars – via PM, just so they understand the situation and also respond accordingly? I’m not sure, but the thought crossed my mind.
I think we covered what you were thinking Ray. He seems chilled out about it and reassured. Here’s our correspondence so far:
Brian to Jeff
Hi Jeff,
I saw your registration on our site this morning. You mentioned
someone in your ward had stopped attending, and she had said something
about visiting our site. All our content is available to the public
without registration in the forums. Registration allows you to post
comments. Feel free to do so if you have any questions.
Our site’s mission is to help people who have experienced a crisis of
faith stay in the church if that is what they want to do. A couple of
things to note: There is a cybersquatter camping on the same .ORG
domain who is actually an anti-Mormon evangelical Christian. We are
not related, and I wish we had the budget to fight him legally to get
the domain away from him. So please stick to StayLDS.COM. That is
our site.
Many people are referred to our site for help via various online
communities or other sites if they want to try and stay in the Church.
I hope that she came to our site for help after experiencing trouble.
That is normally the case. We discuss problems openly and frankly
though, and try to find ways to work past those, or alternate ways to
look at the problems. The explicit goal is to continue participating
in the Church or to stay connected on some level (whatever works).
Our’s is generally a last-ditch effort to reach out as someone has
already decided to walk way. We don’t reach everyone or fix all the
problems, but we try.
Feel free to contact me if you have any questions or concerns you
would not like to post publicly on our forums.
Best Regards,
Brian Johnston, Site Admin
Jeff’s reply to Brian
Thanks Bryan, I am pleased with your response, there is so much anti stuff on the internet and I was worried that our sister had been looking at these sites and was worried that yours was one of these and was heatened by your response.
I have investigated some of the web sites such as Sunstone Magazine, some of the content especially Eugene England’s is enlightening but other contributions leave much to be desired, another site is The Journal of Mormon thought which I like in gereral, but even this has contributions which border on heresey.
I am a great admirer of President Brigham Young and wish sometime we would just accept his teachings on a number of topics instead of following Orson Pratt’s understandings which Brigham said were false, but which do seem to have a following with some of the scholars of the Church, maybe we could have a discussion about some of these things?
I will look at some of the discussions and if I think I can add someting to the arguments I will do so.
Thanks once again
Jeff
Looks good. Just one thought: You might want to make sure he knows we don’t do “arguments” here; rather, we discuss things openly and honestly.
It might have been nothing more than a common word choice, but I think it might help clarify things further.
I think I’ll send him a PM, as well, just to establish my TBM bonafides / chapel cred.
Sounds good. Thanks Ray. Yes “arguments” sounds like he thinks we should be like FAIR or FARMS, providing evidence and calling people to repentance. I also didn’t know what to make of his Brigham Young tangent. Maybe this sister was against BY (because he was friggin’ nuts). However, in light of Newt’s recent promises in Cocoa, Florida, I’m thinking the two of them had a lot in common. To the moon! I can see women objecting to BY even more than men because he made so many horribly sexist statements and was such a polygamist.
I agree keeping an eye out is a good idea.
I thought the BY comment was interesting too. I was surprised someone could know our history in enough detail to know about the BY vs. Orson Pratt fights over doctrine (with Pratt wining out in the long run in spite of BY), and still come across as not understanding why that might cause a problem for the sister he is trying to help. Jeff started posting. Two posts I just approved. There isn’t anything wrong with them. I do want to send a PM to a few folks who are less literal and more trigger-happy, and ask them to be patient. Besides the folks Ray listed above, is there anyone else I need to reach out to? As of now, sending request to: SilentDawning, wayfarer, cwald and Cadence.
The part that raised my eyebrow in his response was the “border on heresey” We discuss a lot on this site openly, and don’t need someone getting offended and calling us all heretics (except Mormon Heretic….it’s his name
Based on the idea we might see a spike in activity, these situations may be more common. I’ll try to be more active this weekend to checkin frequently.
My PM to the 4 regulars I listed above:
I’m reaching out to you guys who post regularly and are sagely members of our community. There’s a new user who just registered named JeffWalshGen. I believe he might be someone in official LDS leadership on the stake or ward level. He wrote to me with concerns about a sister in his ward who has stopped attending and lost her faith. She mentioned to him having visited our site (along with others). I corresponded with him via email to let him know we are not anti-Mormon and our mission is to help people deal with problems in Mormonism in a positive way.
Anyway … I see he is now wanting to engage in the conversation. He posted two comments. I’m reaching out to you guys just to ask that you be gentle and patient with him at first. I love all your perspectives, and I wouldn’t ask that you not speak your mind. If you can cut him a little slack at first though, that would be really cool. We try to make our community accessible to the “TBM” audience if we can, in hopes of helping build healthy bridges.
I’m surprised he ended up posting. I figured he would just drift on to other places once he was OK with the purpose of our site.
Thanks,
-Brian
We probably should include DevilsAdvocate. I also think you might want to send Jeff another PM asking him to be very careful about appearing to accuse people of apostasy or heresy – that people experiencing a crisis of faith don’t need to be labeled in a “support group” environment or they’re likely to run. Also, you might want to mention that assertions of absolute truth, phrased in terms of “this just is the way it is” don’t go over very well with people who are trying to figure out their own persoal testimonies.
That might be a pretty long message, and I don’t know how he would take it, so I’m leaving it as “might want to ________”.
Heber, I really liked your response to Jeff in the Garden of Eden thread. One thing though:
I think we probably shouldn’t ask what things from previous prophets teach what he believes. There’s plenty, and he might provide it anyway, but I don’t think we want to encourage him (and others) to start throwing out old quotes from the more dogmatic prophets about things that are essentially speculative in the first place – especially someone like Jeff who, thus far, has written everything as if it’s obvious, absolute, Gospel truth (and quite simple, if we only open our eyes and accept prophetic utterance). I don’t mean to be snarky and judgmental in saying it that way – but it’s how many here are going to read it, I’m afraid. The more he quotes, the more likely we are to have threads turn into arguments and quote fights.
Just something to consider.
I didn’t particularly like the start, and responded to his message…perhaps I need to be more patient as Brian’s note to the others, but I can sense already the tone is….”let me clear up confusion for you all who are struggling with these things, it says in Moses 4 and JS said…so it is all clearly taught to us in the scriptures” I think he may think he is helping…but he is not listening to understand oths, he just is Stage 3 and sees everything with one view…the correlated one, and he may be trying to teach us all.
I will let others respond…but if I’m too defensive towards him, tell me to chill out.
By the way…this could very well be very interesting exchanges with him. A good example of how we can talk with TBMs, and not be exclusive ourselves.
Ray…just saw your response. Thanks for the input, and I see your point. I guess I was trying to keep him engaged, not making him feel like we aren’t open to studying what prophets have said…but sometimes people have told me…it’s all in the scriptures…and I have started challenging them to ask where, and when they can’t really produce decent sources, then it keeps them from making broad and sweeping comments that aren’t helpful to the conversation.
But I see your point…perhaps I should not prompt bashing with prophet quotes. I will take that to heart. Thanks.
We’re doing enough hand holding IMO. There’s only so much padding we can stitch into the room for him
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