John Dehlin’s comments about StayLDS

[Anonymous]

Orson, I agree totally with the description of “stirring the pot” and “letting it settle”.

I’ve long believed that one of the primary focal efforts of those who are struggling needs to include an understanding of “Be still, and know that I am God” – but, unfortunately, we live in an age when there is this constant barrage of messages focused on always thinking and talking and debating and conjecturing and otherwise actuively doing something and being busy / stimulated. So many people go to bed tired and wake up tired and spend their lives tired and rushed and thinking about the next improtant thing – and they forget how to be still and feel. They can be emotional, but I believe there is a big difference between feeling emotional and feeling spiritual – and it’s a fading art.

I think miracles fade away as much from sheer, voluminous business as from other things that drive away faith – since business makes things accumulate to the point where someone just can’t deal with it all at once. We can’t get people to slow down by physical means, but we can provide a place for people to take a breath, breathe calmly and slowly and start to re-learn how to “be still”. We can model calmness and rationality AND spirituality, even in cases where we have to express disagreement. I believe most people who overcome deep crises do so more by a change of mind and perspective and even character than by finding the right argument, so we can’t be about arguments. Rather, we must be about attitude and character and perspective and charity. At least, that’s how I see it.

John, have you ever considered that sometimes your own desire to find the perfect solution gets in the way of being able to accept partial solutions – or solutions that help a sub-set of people? I think that’s a good thing, in the sense that it keeps you from being complacent and keeps you striving to do more – but it can be a detriment if it devalues what works for some in the eyes of others. My only “advice”, if I can be so bold, would be to be careful in how you address various things that are in your own past (to a degree) in media where others who aren’t there yet might read or hear and misunderstand.

You also tend to be too self-critical. You are a personal hero of mine, despite your weaknesses and faults and failings. I love your sincerity and your heart. Your efforts are valuable, and those who have gained from your work and not expressed it to you directly outnumber those for whom it hasn’t lasted long-term – by a wide margin, I am positive. Continue to do what you do so well – and remember the immortal words of the Man in Black (without the subsequent smack on the head with a sword):

Quote:

Please realize that I hold you in the highest esteem.

[Anonymous]

Wow…thanks Ray. And I promise to be more careful about how I talk about StayLDS going forward….

[Anonymous]

Good discussion. It’s always important to take a look at ourselves and realize what works for some doesn’t always work for many. I think that is where this movement started, there was a need that couldn’t be filled by traditional views. Maybe we have a niche, and that’s ok?

I know I felt this way a few months ago, kind of like I graduated from my crisis and this site helped me figure things out, but the long term prospect of continuing to participate was not for me, until I felt I needed to be more support for others, not really for my ongoing search for truth. It has been good for me, but other things have supplemented my studies and experiences. (is that something we can stress for others also, the StayLDS approach is part of working it out, not the entire antidote?)

Perhaps we can learn something from the feedback John provides that if others don’t feel they are honest in their temple recommend interviews or they feel 2nd class Mormons, perhaps there is something slightly different in how we present ideas to people on the site. Maybe we need more focus on what Ray said, advising people to be still.

I don’t know for sure, just thinking out loud. But I’m proud to be part of this site, I think it’s all good.

[Author]

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