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Yesterday was a combined YW’s lesson on “change.” While introducing the lesson, the teacher asked everyone, “What brings about change?” And I yelled, “Obama!”
Meoclew wrote:Yesterday was a combined YW’s lesson on “change.” While introducing the lesson, the teacher asked everyone, “What brings about change?”
And I yelled, “Obama!”
Another one along similar lines… We had a lesson on “sacrifice” in EQ. The teacher asked anyone if they could think of examples of sacrifice.
I said, “That bit in the
Indiana Jonesfilm, where she’s getting lowered into the fire pit”. He took it well, and I did regret saying, but still, got a few laughs.
SamBee wrote:Meoclew wrote:Yesterday was a combined YW’s lesson on “change.” While introducing the lesson, the teacher asked everyone, “What brings about change?”
And I yelled, “Obama!”
Another one along similar lines… We had a lesson on “sacrifice” in EQ. The teacher asked anyone if they could think of examples of sacrifice.
I said, “That bit in the
Indiana Jonesfilm, where she’s getting lowered into the fire pit”. He took it well, and I did regret saying, but still, got a few laughs.
Great response
My Dad is a constant ‘punner’ in priesthood. His proudest moment was when he was about to read a scripture and pulled out his reading glasses. He accidentally pressed to hard on the lenses with his thumb so it popped out. He looked down forlornly and said:
“Oh dear, I’ve brokem my Urim with my Thum-in”
mackay11 wrote:“Oh dear, I’ve brokem my Urim with my Thum-in”
😆 😆 Is your dad my father-in-law? 
I could hear him saying it as I read what you wrote.
Heber13 wrote:mackay11 wrote:“Oh dear, I’ve brokem my Urim with my Thum-in”
😆 😆 Someone should do a book of decent Mormon jokes, but someone else would probably say it wasn’t uplifting.
Actually if you want a slightly (blasphemous) laugh, look at some of the ridiculous notions online about what people think baptism for the dead is. In France, someone thought actual microfiches were getting baptized. And that’s one of the LESS wild theories.
Old-Timer wrote:Is your dad my father-in-law?
I could hear him saying it as I read what you wrote.
Every family needs at least one
Did you hear about the proposed Utah state motto that was rejected when the state first was formed? Quote:“Our Jesus is better than your Jesus!”
One of my favourites: A guy walks into a bar. Ouch!
No not that one, this one:
A guy walks into a bar and orders two pints of beer. He sits in the corner, drinks them, then leaves.
This continues, once a week on Friday night, for several months. Two pints in the corner, then leaves.
Eventually the barman’s curiosity gets the better of him and, as he passes the man the two pints one Friday night he asks him why he follows such a strict routine. “Oh that’s simple,” says the man “my Brother lives in Australia. We’ve not seen each other for years. As a show of unity, every Friday night we have 2 pints each. One for myself and one for my brother.” Satisfied, the barman leaves the man to his routine.
A few more months pass and then one night, the man comes in, orders only one pint of beer and takes it to the corner. The barman struggles with what to say, but eventually goes over to the man and says, “I’m really sorry for your loss. Can I offer my condolences about your brother?”
The man looks up and says “Oh, no, no, no, it’s not that at all. Last week my wife finally convinced me to become a Mormon. So it means I can’t drink beer any more.” He pauses, raises the pint glass with a smile and says, “Hasn’t stopped my brother though…”
Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks. I know I’m quite emotional anyway, even so this story especially touched me…… XXX Xmas is coming… A couple was Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve and the whole place was heaving, packed with other last minute shoppers.
Walking through the shopping center the surprised wife looked up from a window display and noticed her husband was nowhere to be seen. She knew they had lots still to do and she became very upset.
She rummaged in her handbag and found her cellphone, then used it to call her husband to ask him where he was.
The husband in a calm voice replied: “Darling, you remember the jewellery shop we went into five years ago, where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we could not afford and I told you that one day I would get it for you…?”
His wife’s eyes filled with tears of emotion, she began to cry softly and stifling a sob she whispered:”Yes, I remember that jewellery shop…”
.
.
.
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“Well,” he said, “I’m in the bar next to it!”
If you can’t afford a doctor, go to an airport. You’ll get a free x-ray and a breast exam. If you mention Al Qaeda, you’ll get a free colonoscopy.
Did you hear about the Mormon with an inferiority complex? A: He thought he was equal to everyone else.
SamBee wrote:Did you hear about the Mormon with an inferiority complex?
A: He thought he was equal to everyone else.
😆 And remember: All those dolphins are laughing AT YOU.
I’m flexible. First I get bent out of shape and then I tie myself up in knots.
The milk of human kindness comes from thinking about udders.
:wave: All mothers have intuition. Great mothers have radar.
I look so peaceful when my kids are sleeping.
I’ve lost my mind and I’m pretty sure my kids took it.
Quote:Actually if you want a slightly (blasphemous) laugh, look at some of the ridiculous notions online about what people think baptism for the dead is. In France, someone thought actual microfiches were getting baptized. And that’s one of the LESS wild theories.
I knew the church attorney who was assisting getting the Portland Oregon temple built. He talke of the goofy questions he fielded…
He was asked by one city official “I know this sounds crazy but we got a complaint that you would be keeping cattle in the basement”
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