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Old-Timer wrote:
I figured it was a different side of the pond thing.
I’m on SamBees side of the pond and still don’t get it. It might be his Celtic roots and my southern softie ones.
A bad analogy is like a blind monkey flying a plane. The seats are small, the monkey is brown, and the analogy makes literally no sense. SamBee wrote:A bad analogy is like a blind monkey flying a plane. The seats are small, the monkey is brown, and the analogy makes literally no sense.
Like!!!!!
From a comment at Real Intent: Quote:I remember when my youngest turned 8, and we began to talk baptism. We asked him when he would like to be baptized, (his birthday is in May) – He said, “I think. . . . . . November.” We were a little curious as to what significance that had, but when asked he replied with a cheery smile . . .
“I want to live a little first.”
From the mouths of babes, indeed.
:thumbup: If a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is. If she starts to growl, retreat to a safe distance and throw chocolate at her.
The first “cup” in hockey was used in 1874. The first helmet was used in 1974. This means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brains are important, too.
I was jogging and heard someone clapping. It was my thighs cheering me on.
Random thoughts… 
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Men get frustrated because they don’t understand how women think. Women get frustrated because they understand how men think.
Men say women should come with instructions..but what’s the point of that? Have you ever seen a man actually read the instructions?
The nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others.
It’s easy enough to have a clear conscience. All it takes is a fuzzy memory.
Exhilaration is that feeling you get just after a great idea hits you & before you realize what’s wrong with it.
(When you’re being driven around looking for an “optimum” parking space…)”Don’t give up. It took Noah 6 months to find a parking space.”
You guys are just like family to me. You know, dysfunctional.
Quote:Men get frustrated because they don’t understand how women think. Women get frustrated because they understand how men think.
:clap: 😆 Too true… although occasionally women do genuinely misunderstand men, and some men are, erm, more transparent than others.An ancient but a goody:
“When I die, I want to go like my grandfather did. In my sleep. Not kicking and screaming like his passengers.”
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Q. How do we know that Adam and Eve were Mennonite?
A. Who else would be alone in a garden with a naked woman and be tempted by a piece of fruit?
SamBee wrote:An ancient but a goody:
“When I die, I want to go like my grandfather did. In my sleep. Not kicking and screaming like his passengers.”
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Q. How do we know that Adam and Eve were Mennonite?
A. Who else would be alone in a garden with a naked woman and be tempted by a piece of fruit?
😆 Both are hillarious!
Marital Misunderstanding How men and women record things in their diaries……
Wife’s Diary:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird.
We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner.
I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was
upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it.
Conversation wasn’t flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere
quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn’t say much.
I asked him what was wrong; He said, ‘Nothing.’
I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.
He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me,
and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him.
He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior.
I don’t know why he didn’t say, ‘I love you, too.’
When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely,
as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.
He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant
and absent.
Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed.
About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was
distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else.
He fell asleep; I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his
thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
Husband’s Diary:
A two-foot putt… who the hell misses a two-foot putt !?
Meh Mormon wrote:Husband’s Diary:
A two-foot putt… who the hell misses a two-foot putt !?
😆 :clap: Meh Mormon. I love it 
My wife and daughters LOVED that one. :clap: More than a joke, Robert Kirby’s article “Helping returning Mormon missionaries go forth” is hilarious and worth a read: http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/lifestyle/56672720-80/missionary-week-mission-kirby.html.csp
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