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One of the other threads today was talking about war. Made me think of wars between news channels from Anchorman…here’s your random quote for the day… Quote:Ron Burgundy:Boy, that escalated quickly… I mean, that really got out of hand fast. Champ Kind:It jumped up a notch. Ron Burgundy:It did, didn’t it? Brick Tamland: Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart. Ron Burgundy:I saw that. Brick killed a guy. Did you throw a trident? Brick Tamland:Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident. Ron Burgundy:Brick, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you’re probably wanted for murder. I attached all my watches together to make a belt. …it was a waist of time.
:shifty: My favorite childhood memory is… …not paying bills.
We need a few “not up to the standards of the Laffy Taffy brand” jokes: And the lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them but when he rounded them up he had 200.
A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the zoo was one dog. It was a shih tzu.
What was a more important invention than the first telephone? The second one.
What did the inflatable bishop say to the inflatable deacon that brought a pin to the inflatable church? Not only have you let me down but you’ve let yourself down and the entire church down.
Nice, nibbler!! Here are some terms from the redneck dictionary on medical terms:
Artery= The study of paintings Bacteria= Back door to the cafeteria Barium= what doctors do when patients die CAT scan= searching for kitty Cauterize= Made eye contact with her Cesarean Section= A neighborhood in Rome Fibula= A small lie Genital= A non-Jewish person Outpatient= a person who fainted Pap smear= A fatherhood test Rectum= damn near killed him Terminal Illness= getting sick at the airport Varicose= near by Continuing the theme of “jokes your grandpa told you”: What did the Buddhist ask the hot dog vendor?
“Make me one with everything.”
The Buddhist gives him a $50 and the vendor pockets it.
The Buddhist asks for change and the vendor replies, “Change comes from within.”
I didn’t think this one up, but it is a good one. Hawkgrrrl once again had a great blog http://www.wheatandtares.org/20510/the-mormon-urge-to-glurge-2/ ” class=”bbcode_url”> http://www.wheatandtares.org/20510/the-mormon-urge-to-glurge-2/ But one of the comments was
Quote:The one that I testify is true is that my uncle , during a firefight in Iraq, was hit by a bullet in his chest, but ubelievably was saved as it lodged in 2 Nephi, proving without a shadow of a doubt that even a bullet can’t get through Isaiah!
What do you get a priest for Father’s Day? 
[img]http://i.imgur.com/fVeHY0d.jpg [/img] [attachment=0]plata zorro f.jpg[/attachment] Our 18-year-old daughter just came up with this one. Quote:A Jehovah’s Witness enters the movie theater, slides down the row, and asks:
Quote:Is this seat saved?
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation. Heber13 wrote:Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
Oh it’s had plenty of prophets – Nietzsche, Dawkins, Voltaire, Mao…
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