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We never really grow up, we only really learn how to act in public. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not put it in a fruit salad.
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good Evening,’ and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
Quote:Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not put it in a fruit salad.
I like this one!!
:thumbup: My wife said, “Take off my shirt.” So, I took off her shirt. Then she said, “Now take off my skirt.” I took off her skirt. “Take off my shoes.” I took off her shoes. “Now my bra, hose and panties.” I took them off. She looked at me and said, “Now don’t let me find you wearing my stuff again!”
Heber13 wrote:So, I took off her shirt. Then she said, “Now take off my skirt.” I took off her skirt. “Take off my shoes.” I took off her shoes. “Now my bra, hose and panties.” I took them off. She looked at me and said, “Now don’t let me find you wearing my stuff again.”
😆 Science quotes were taken from exams, and class room discussions.
Most were from 5th and 6th graders.
*You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to getting hit.
If you don’t hear it you got hit, so never mind.
*When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy.
When planets do it we say they are orbiting.
*A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.
*Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime.
*Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun.
But I have never been able to make out the numbers.
*I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.
*Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound.
*The wind is like the air, only pushier.
Oh, Heber . . . I absolutely LOVED that one – and my wife was chuckling for hours! :clap: 😆 :clap: Another one that some of you might or might not like. I heard it on the radio earlier this week: Quote:If women ruled the world, there would be no wars – only
VERYintense negotiations every 28-32 days. This isn’t really a joke – just something that made me laugh. My kids repeatedly ask, “How much longer?” throughout the 3 hour block of church.
I told him, “After the closing prayer is said.”
I was sitting across the room from my son. As soon as the closing prayer was said, I heard this loud cowboy shout, “WOO WHOO!!!”
It startled me & everyone else & I looked over, to see it was my son.
Who let the dogs out?? Quote:Heber13 wrote:Who let the dogs out??
Puppy farming?!
“Because Mitt Romney is a Mormon he can actually have several vice presidents. Did you know that?” –David Letterman 😆 :clap: 😆 :clap: That might be my favorite political Mormon quote of all time.
Here is one my cousin told me… Quote:What is the difference between a Mormon and a Southern Baptist?
The Southern Baptist will wave at you when they see you in the liquor store.
:wave: Haha. Nice, greenapples! 😆 Here’s one…
Quote:A husband and wife were with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up.
“Oh, we’ll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship,” the wife explained. “It’s all about education,” she continued.
“He took a communication course in college and I studied drama.”
“He communicates very well and I act like I’m listening.”
Here is a story that is kind of funny. Today I quickly put on black shirt, a good tie and my suit Jacket. I grabbed up my scriptures and headed out the door. I got into my car and started to drive up to the church.
I realized after a few short miles that I forgot to put on my suit pants. I looked down briefly and saw that I was wearing my black underpants.
😳 I looked at the watch and I saw church was going to start in less than nine minutes. I was tired of being late and I wanted to be onetime so I continued on to church.
:crazy: As I got out of the car I saw the reflection of myself in the window and decided that my black underpants was almost the same color as my suit jacket. I figured nobody would notice unless they looked really close.
:shh: I spent all of Sacrament, Sunday school and Priesthood in my black underpants. Nobody seemed to notice and nobody laughed.
:wave: 😆 I suppose I should explain further.
:think: I lost a great deal of weight. My suit no longer fits me just right. I noticed that my suit pants fit better if I put on some black slacks underneath.
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