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  • #209315
    1gentlespirit
    Guest

    Hi, I am new here. Just going to briefly introduce myself. I am a convert to the church, I have been a member for 14 years. I am on my second marriage and living in a small rigid Mormon town. My first marriage ended due to some poor choices I made, and my fall from “Grace” left me a tainted member of our community. My subsequent treatment from the “Christlike” members all around me, has left me feeling a little jaded. It has been tough to get back in the saddle and become active again, but I have done it. This time around though, I am more determined to be myself and those that don’t agree can go fly a kite. That however, will leave me a bit of a black sheep. I worry too much about what others think and I am trying to learn to just be me and not care. Its very hard for me, especially living in this town.

    So, I just wanted to say hello and let you know, I appreciate reading your comments. It makes me feel not so alone. I may not post much and will probably just lurk around the boards, gaining strength from your experiences and insights.

    #291671
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Welcome, 1gentlespirit.

    The road less traveled can be lonely specifically because it is less traveled – but it also can be soul-expanding and stunning in its complexity and amid its twists and turns. It isn’t the strait and narrow path of most people’s understanding, but it sometimes is even more strait and narrow than the broad path they don’t realize they are walking. Neither necessarily is bad, and both have important benefits for those who walk them.

    I hope we can make your own strait and narrow path less lonely during the journey.

    #291672
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Welcome, I’m glad you stopped in to say hello. I’m sure you do have insights you can offer, so don’t be afraid to do so. Nevertheless, we all know there are lots who just come to read and you are welcome to do that if you like.

    The basic ideas you have presented can be very liberating if you let them – let go of the guilt and be who you are.

    #291673
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Welcome, 1gentlespirit, and hello. Thank you for sharing your story. I am sure there are many who would benefit from hearing your point of view here, and I hope you are able to find the peace you need.

    #291674
    Anonymous
    Guest

    1gentlespirit, thank you for your intro. Many of us can relate to what you’re going through.

    It’s important to find our place in this world & within the church.

    I have carved out my space too & I’m beginning to feel comfortable on my own terms.

    The older I get the less I need the approval of others within my Ward.

    I looking forward to hear more from you.

    Keep coming back.

    #291675
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Thank you all for the warm welcome! A couple things reached out to me, Darkjedi-“Let go of the guilt and be who you are”. Thank you for that. It is a very profound statement and stirs my very soul. And Mike, yes I agree it is important to find my place in this world and in this church, it just saddens me and I find it very frightening to be 36 years old and just now figuring that out and I have no idea how to do it! I do know that the few hours I have spent on this site today, have made me feel hope and given me strength to be me.

    #291676
    Anonymous
    Guest

    1gentlespirit wrote:

    I find it very frightening to be 36 years old and just now figuring that out and I have no idea how to do it!


    You are a Spring Chicken! :-) I am in my 50’s and just figuring out that I need to be more of just who I am and not playing the part I THINK I am supposed to.

    #291677
    Anonymous
    Guest

    LookingHard wrote:

    1gentlespirit wrote:

    I find it very frightening to be 36 years old and just now figuring that out and I have no idea how to do it!


    You are a Spring Chicken! :-) I am in my 50’s and just figuring out that I need to be more of just who I am and not playing the part I THINK I am supposed to.


    Can we get a “like” button on here! 😆 I see I will be learning a lot from you all :clap:

    #291679
    Anonymous
    Guest

    I like the idea of being who you are. I now wear a colored shirt every day to church, and I’m cool with it. I’ve created an image of myself as a guy who doesn’t talk much in lessons, but when he does,makes a good point. He can’t have a calling because he doesn’t live in the ward, but when he accepts assignments, he does a really good job. His kids are good kids and one of them is a TBM — which many people associate with good parenting I’m told. And he also serves heavily in the wider community outside of the LDS church. His wife is reliable and serves faithfully in an assignment which is much like a calling. Any unorthodox beliefs aren’t visible to the local leadership in the ward I attend, outside of our stake. I make sure no one sees them because they will do more harm than good if they do.

    That’s my version of what it means to be yourself, but still be in the church.

    I don’t know how well this would work in Utah– I’m doing my best to avoid that part of the world except when my family forces me to go there. But so far, its worked reasonably well in the “mission field”.

    #291680
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Welcome! Love the Tolkien quote in your signature. :)

    #291681
    Anonymous
    Guest

    I just saw a tee shirt this weekend at Disneyland that said Be You Tiful. I think you have to be who you are, and I’ll just add that self-knowledge is far more rewarding than approval from others.

    #291678
    Anonymous
    Guest

    For those that are slow like me, “Be You Tiful” is “beyoutiful” (“beautiful”) split up. I like it.

    #291682
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Gah! LookingHard!

    You shouldn’t have said anything. Now I’ll never know how long it would have taken me to abandon the:

    Who is Titful?

    Titful? 😯 :silent:

    Auto correct?

    Welcome to the ward 1gentlespirit.

    #291683
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Quote:

    Who is Titful?

    Must. Fight. the. Urge. to. Respond. :silent:

    #291684
    Anonymous
    Guest

    You guys need to take this over to ldssexuality.com. :)

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