Just need some feedback..

[Anonymous]

So I posted like a week ago in here asking for support, and rather than just updating that thread, I’d like to just start over. Since it’s not really regarding the same thing.

Anyway if you read my post, you would know I’m struggling with the LDS church. Well I believe most of us are, since the site is called “Stay lds” but anyway…Since then, I’ve come across some interesting things in the history which include but are not limited to:

The book of Abraham.

Those hoaxed metal things they found that JS could have translated them (man the name of those has escaped me…)

The greek book that JS said was obviously Egyptian.

The perspective that it IS possible that the BoM was indeed written by a man.

The temple and Masonry

Those are some, there are more, but these are the major new ones. But anyway, I’ve been talking to my husband who constantly suggests that we go inactive for a while, and it would rub me the wrong way thinking he just wanted an excuse to stop going to church. And I know he has issues but he says “he doesn’t know what they are” which also bothers me. How can you have issues with a church and not know what the issues are. But that really doesn’t matter much. Since he was less active when we met, and I had no idea he was a mormon.

Last night, he suggested that we stop going for a while, while we work on getting out of debt, and getting me into school. I didn’t say much, but the constant stress of tithing, garmets, temples, church, repentance, missionary dinners, etc does put extra stress on us, And I’d like to try to get a job for a couple of months to get ahead on finances. And I don’t want to deal with judgment from sisters at church for me not staying home. I’d like to eventually. But not now.

What I’m getting at here is I was thinking about going to a more laid back church for a while. But I’m not sure which one is rather laid back. Lots of opportunities to make friends since all of mine will disown me when they notice I’ve not been at church. And also, I don’t know what to say to my in laws about us not going. Has anyone been here? And how did it turn out for you? Thank you, and sorry if I broke a rule opening two threads on this.

[Anonymous]

The hoaxed metal things are the Kinderhook Plates, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinderhook_plates” class=”bbcode_url”>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinderhook_plates The greek book was the Greek Psalter. You’ve listed all the issues that many of us have had (and still have BTW).

I’m a convert, I’ve seen my fair share of churches and my extended family belongs to a diverse group of churches. My experience… the are all laid back compared to the LDS church. Most don’t require much, if anything, more than attend church for a little over an hour on Sundays. Culture has also changed out from under the LDS church, casual wear is widely accepted in other churches.

I didn’t want to bring this up, but the thought kept coming back to me. There are issues with every church. All churches have issues with their origins/history. I strongly dislike it when TBMs start to say how some other church is wrong because xyz in meetings and I don’t mean to echo that message… I’ll just say that one thing I like about the LDS church is that it does attempt to draw a line that simply won’t be crossed while other churches will change doctrines at a whim if they think they can draw a larger crowd. Does the LDS church do that as well? Yes, but at least it’s not as transparent to me.

I think a break can be helpful. One thing I didn’t enjoy about the mission I served for the church was that there were no vacation days. No down time whatsoever. Even had to go out at proselyte on Christmas. A small thing for sure, but people need a break from always being “on.” That even extends to outside the mission. Perform one difficult calling for years and you “remain standing” as the ward members both thank you for your work and sustain you to a new calling. There’s no down time, always on. No chance to unwind and there’s potential to get completely burned out.

One warning, and this was something that concerned me during my faith crisis. I was worried that if people found out or if I reduced activity that I’d become a “project.” More visits from leadership, HT/VT, etc. Visits that would just put me off of the church even more than I already felt I was. In other words I didn’t fear the judgment so much, I feared suffocation by well meaning members that saw what they’d be doing as coming from feelings of love toward me. I just wanted to be left alone for a while.

Sorry, gotta go. This post was a bit rushed. Good luck with whatever you decide. Make it your decision.

[Anonymous]

I haven’t been to church in over 10 years. I’m just going to throw my 2 cents in that not going to church isn’t the answer, either. Not going creates a new set of angst. You have to decide for yourself, but I’d recommend reduced activity as opposed to dropping out totally. You don’t need to go to every dinner/activity, you don’t have to invite the missionaries for dinner, etc. You do seem to be a little concerned about what others will think, don’t be. It’s about you and your sanity and salvation, not theirs.

FWIW, I agree with Nibbler, I have not encountered another church which requires any where near the commitment the LDS church does. (OK, Jehovah’s Witnesses do require quite a bit but I’ve never been to a service or really looked into being a part, I have neighbors who are friends that are members.) You could walk into any other church, attend an hour or less service and leave and no one will care a whole lot. I’ve also never encountered another church that “feels” right, but that’s very subjective.

Like Nibbler I was also afraid of being a project. I, too, just wanted to be left alone for awhile. I handled it by saying so. I straight out told the bishop I didn’t want to be anyone’s project or be put in any program and I couldn’t care less if HT came or not. I think it actually worked, they were respective of my wishes.

As a side note, I also agree with Nibbler about missionaries but that’s off topic. I’ve thought about making a thread about that before.

[Anonymous]

As far as all the issues I have concluded that mortals have more of an ability to color the process of revelation than I had understood while growing up. For me that was a process of becoming disillusioned (as Dr. Wendy Ulrich would describe in her FAIR paper) but ultimately was not a destroyer of my ability to exercise faith.

Personal decisions on how you want to live your life can be difficult because the ripples travel far, this is why the oft-repeated advice is to go slow. Best wishes!

[Anonymous]

I agree with the idea to simply cut back, for example, just go to SM for now, or go twice a month to everything. Church is about YOU, your progress, your becoming the kind of person we aspire to be. It’s not about the rules, the church itself, the requirements. Those are the things that are supposed to help you become the kind of person you can be, but in some cases those are precisely the things that get in the way. My dad used to say “absence makes the heart go wander,” which I think he meant as a joke, but the way I see it, when you go without something either you miss it and want it back or you don’t miss it at all. Sometimes a break can make you want to go back with renewed vigor. I do agree with your comment about not wanting to just be inactive because it’s easier. If we still are committed to being the best people we can be, we can’t (IMO) continually seek the easiest path. But that doesn’t mean everything has to be painful and unpleasant either.

On the five issues you list, here are some of my own thoughts:

The book of Abraham. The facsimiles are a problem, but as to the text, there are some elements of the text that have a ring of authenticity to them when compared to other apocryphal sources that came out later. I don’t want to throw the baby out with the bathwater on this one. These are further evidence that JS’s method of “translation” was not really letter for letter looking at a source document, then writing it out.

Kinderhook Plates & Greek Psalter. Joseph was sometimes gullible and excitable about ancient records. I also wonder if he was prideful of his ability to “translate” and oversold it to himself. He doesn’t do a good job identifying appropriate source material; again, given that he doesn’t really use it to translate in any significant way, perhaps that’s beside the point.

The perspective that it IS possible that the BoM was indeed written by a man. By this I assume you mean it’s not a masterpiece of literature and he’s not the illiterate farmboy Truman Madsen painted? I suppose, but it still would be a great feat to have written it in one go given all the interwoven perspectives and narrators. Honestly, I have a hard time keeping it straight as a reader, let alone if I had authored it in a single draft. IMO the BOM is bad in a whole ‘ nother way: it’s didactic, it paints black and white stories out of gray ones, and it’s boring boring boring. But that doesn’t rule out it being ancient (nor confirm it either).

The temple and Masonry. This one wasn’t a huge surprise to me. I have relatives who are Masons (not LDS), and my parents are converts. The Masonic connections are definitely there, although there are key differences too – the narrative and the covenants of the temple are completely new. Only the tokens and signs are re-used. I liked what Brian Johnston said about it, that JS was trying to convey an idea to bind the saints, and he used what he had at hand. This one doesn’t bother me. Most people in JS’s day, and even my aunts and uncles, believed that Masonry originated in Solomon’s temple, that it was very ancient. That’s been debunked to some extent, but its origins are sketchy. They fall apart before the 1700s, but bear in mind it was a secretive organization, so that’s part of it.

Don’t know if any of that is helpful, but I thought I’d give you my two cents.

[Author]

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