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OK, this is the official thread to discuss LadyWisdom – at valoel’s order. 
head case Concise, direct, correct – that’s why you’re my hero, Hawk! Are we really helping her, or just feeding her emotional disability? I wonder that. I am loathe to kick someone off the boards until they violate rules or cause problems we can point at. She is annoying, but is that a reason not to try to help her? That is my own question I ask myself internally.
I agree, valoel. I don’t want to ever kick someone out just because they are needy or emotionally disturbed – even if I do think we might be enabling her. However, we can’t let her become disruptive or start to dominate the board with strictly personal issues and conflicts. Have you tried sending her a PM directly asking if she is getting counseling? Would that set her off, do you think?
Old-Timer wrote:Have you tried sending her a PM directly asking if she is getting counseling? Would that set her off, do you think?
Besides coming across as “needy” and irritating, can we really point to a mental disorder? I feel awkward telling someone to get psychiatric counseling without knowing them better. She seems socially retarded to me (can I use that term?). She just doesn’t seem to “get it” over at NOM a lot, that people don’t want to hear a lot of her “crap.” She comes across to me as one of those really borderline personallities … definately a bit off, but not to the point where you could go to a judge and get her committed to an institution.
I have a SIL that is kind of like that online. She has diagnosed mental illnesses. She irritates my DW on FaceBook because her sister posts odd comments, but mostly way to many comments. She is on 100% disability through the VA (former Army). So she has a lot of time on her hands and gets obsessed about things at times. But in spite of it all, my wife says “I can’t tell her to stop it because it would crush her feelings.” The solution is to have compassion and tolerate it, mostly. She isn’t trying to do something wrong. She just doesn’t “get it” like everyone else does.
There is a boundary that has to be maintained. If disruption starts up, quick action has to be taken — coaching is nice, but banning can not be avoided at times.
Great summary. I’m not specifying psychiatric counseling, necessarily – more like general counseling. There are all kinds of “social disorders” that wouldn’t be classified in the old terms of “crazy”. Personally, from the little I’ve observed and what you’ve shared, I think there probably is a clinical diagnosis of some sort that would be accurate, but I agree with you in the end. All we can do is what we can do – balancing her own needs against the needs of the community.
I’d like to pursue the option of making her comments visible only to the moderators and admins. That way, she would have a forum to get things out, we might be able to help (even if only as a calming influence) and she wouldn’t distract from the overall group. I don’t think we are at that level of need yet, but what do you think of exploring the possibility if it gets to that point?
Seems reasonable. So far, your responses to her have been effective. At some point, the train will probably come off the rails. We can try to figure out how to “cave” her, but I am not sure how that would work in phpBB. She might tread a little lighter here. She knows who I am. I’ve been one of those “mean people” that talked plainly with her in the past.
Meltdown topic by LadyWisdom at NOM. She is going into a “bipolar” down cycle. Keep an eye on her. http://forum.newordermormon.org/viewtopic.php?t=10269 Apparently her TR interview did not go well for her and her daughter going to do baptisms for the dead …
I just read that post. A number of things popped into mind immediately, but . . . Just wow. This lady is seriously disturbed, and her perspective is radically warped. I know we’ve talked about trying to help her, and I still support that in theory, but if this post is accurate and not just a hyperbolic result of a bi-polar nosedive . . .
Quote:However, by the 3rd question, the SP started deviating or making additional requirements from the question, asked more by redefining them. I had just done this in September, renewing my recommend. It was my fault, I suppose because I mentioned in the e-mail that my recently RM son didn’t think I should have one and so I quietly tore it up as I felt he was judging me.
What the frak??? Seriously.
Yeah, I almost added “with the patience of Job” to my comment about her Bishop, but I can’t be snarky to her. I really wonder about her childhood; she sounds like someone who has a deep, passive-aggressive, male authority complex – and there are some things that cause such a complex that are horrible. I hope, for her sake, it’s “just” a case of being bi-polar – but I really wonder.
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