LDS Culture

[Anonymous]

FWIW, I’ve listened to a handful of podcasts over the last several years, and I’ve never been a fan. Recently, I had a long drive in front of me, so I downloaded a couple that I thought sounded interesting. One I couldn’t finish; it infuriated me how much “us vs them” was there, and it was all from the standpoint of us=goodness and purity and them=uncaring and hypocritical. The other one was interesting to listen to, but just so one-sided. Some parts made me cringe as badly as some of that really cheesy LDS art.

The reason I don’t like a lot of that stuff I think is related to why I can be at peace (and even respect) some LDS culture. Let me back up to my ‘believer’ days and talk for a moment about anti-LDS “literature”. What used to really bug me about that stuff was that it focused in with laser intensity on aspects of the religion that I didn’t even believe, like Adam-God. I mean, to point to Adam-God as a relevant article of faith of LDS people is pretty laughable. Similarly, I’ve always hated, up until the present time, the association with mormonism and racism. I’m not a racist and I believe I never have been. As I’ve said here before, I had a debilitating crush on a black girl in my junior high class. I was confused by the Priesthood/Temple Ban when it was in effect, but wasn’t old enough to have to accept/justify it (thankfully). I was overjoyed when the change was made. Yet, I have to keep answering the charge of racism, as if it is somehow my doing and my responsibility.

Fast forward to our mutual post-faith lives. There are a lot of things about LDS culture that we see now that we ignored then. I think people like us have a strong pull toward over-emphasizing the things we DON’T like and undervaluing the things we DO. I have a friend who is Lutheran. I love to talk to him about it and get insight to his religious views and the social aspect of his Church. It’s fascinating. I applaud him for being devoted to it. Turn that around and talk to one of my LDS friends, and I can’t help think of delusion, deception, and an inevitable disillusionment.

I’ve learned to celebrate the good and steer clear of the bad. If I were to walk into a Deseret Book (which I do when the opportunity arises), I could probably say that 90% of it would make me cringe, just like you. But I don’t look at that stuff. I look at the 10% that I like. I do sometimes pick up something, shake my head a little and put it back down, but I don’t dwell on those things.

What I like about Mormon Culture… heritage (as a Church, not my personal ancestry), devotion to God, commitment to the organization, optimism, pragmatism, sincerity in caring, opportunities to better ourselves (speaking, serving in the organization, performing service), friendliness, and the environment of trust. I like temples, though I no longer attend. I like the concept of marriages “forever”. I like the sincerity of prayers and testimonies (generally speaking). I like the youth programs, as SD mentioned. I like that the church buildings have “cultural halls”. I like the jump-up-ness of people who don’t leave a party until the tables and chairs have been put away and the floor swept. I like the missionaries and all that goes into bringing so many wonderful young people to sacrifice so much, while so many their peers live in their parents’ basement and play Call of Duty all day. (Before I bring on the ire of my fellow StayLDSers, I will point out that there are many fine young people who do not serve missions; I’m only talking about those who do… and who choose to do so of their own volition). Finally, I love the pervasive belief among LDS people, that God knows them personally and has done everything for their benefit.

[Anonymous]

NonTraditionalMom wrote:

I’ve listened to a couple of podcasts recently with members who have experienced changes in their faith but still choose to stay in the church. A repeated sentiment I keep hearing is how many of these members love the culture of the church and how the culture is such a huge part of who they are and why they stay. I have a hard time relating to this idea because what I think of as “the culture” is something I grit my teeth and tolerate on a good day. I feel nauseated by a good 90% of the merchandise at Deseret Book, and I’ve started blocking anyone on Facebook who posts an LDS meme. Maybe I am misunderstanding what these people on the podcasts mean by culture, but I am just not getting it. If anything, the culture makes me want to leave.

I’ve really enjoyed reading this thread, so thanks for starting it. It’s interesting to see all the takes on it. I grew up in the hinterlands. No Deseret Book for a thousand miles and LDS culture – i.e., the people in our ward from LDS strongholds – to me was: People who could build, paint, design, costume, script, sew, remodel, repair, grow, cook, play and sing darn near anything. They were serious about education and community service. Members and non-members were drawn to them for what they could do and how willing they were to share and teach it to others. They weren’t well-to-do. They were DIY-ers. The world is different now, and I can’t do half of those things, but they’re the first people of think of when LDS culture is mentioned, not all the kitsch. I was kind of shocked when I finally got to bookstores and whatnot in Utah because they didn’t “match” the people I knew.

[Anonymous]

Ann wrote:

No Deseret Book for a thousand miles and LDS culture – i.e., the people in our ward from LDS strongholds – to me was: People who could build, paint, design, costume, script, sew, remodel, repair, grow, cook, play and sing darn near anything. They were serious about education and community service. Members and non-members were drawn to them for what they could do and how willing they were to share and teach it to others. They weren’t well-to-do. They were DIY-ers.

This sounds absolutely heavenly. I wonder if part of my problem is that I am smack in the middle of the Mormon stronghold. Maybe I should move.

[Anonymous]

Our culture is often referred to as a cult by some on the outside. Not entirely wrong except for the negative connotation that the word cult brings with it. Our culture allows only those who are like minded (ie. “members) in except when an invitation is given and the motive for that is to convert, not necessarily to share time together.

On the other hand we are often discouraged from straying from our culture too far or too often thereby making walls on all sides, coming and going. I don’t know how many times as I was told while growing up that “…this is where you should be…” and not necessarily at church on Sunday but at activities during the week while I was missing little league and flying lessons.

This is good for some (settlers) but impossible to be happy for others (explorers). Oh wait, you are not happy unless you are “a member”.

In the world but not of it taken too far?

[Anonymous]

It’s true in all cultures that have done a thorough job of influencing the drivers of shared values in their organizations. There are 6 of them, and they all start with “s”, but I won’t bore you with the details…..

Picture this. You are part of an aboriginal tribe. The leader wears a loincloth and nothing else. You show up at a leadership meeting in one. No problem. Show up in a suit, and it’s time for weird stairs and people thinking you don’t fit in.

Now, you are a Mormon, and show up at priesthood meeting in nothing but a loincloth — imagine the problems that would cause.

So, the fact that cultures tend to single out people who are different is not unique to a cult — it’s a feature of groups that share common values.

[Author]

Posts