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natashaparker wrote:
It is unethical for us to not be willing to engage in a discussion of what “health” means – even if this means for certain people a moving away from cultural/religious norms they feel pressure to adhere to. In other words, a good therapist should help you feel comfortable with the decision of wearing your garments or not wearing your garments as long as it’s coming from an authentic place on your part.
In my personal opinion, your mental health trumps religious ritual every time.
Thank you Natasha for adding your perspective. I remember a few years ago a controversy over a female Christian Therapist. I think this was because she was wanting to lead people with problems into Christian based solutions and that would limit the range of discussion on what “healthy” approaches may look like. Good comments.
:thumbup: Thank you, natasha. It’s wonderful to get that perspective. Natasha — these are great comments. Mental, physical health does trump the requirements of religion. as JS said — happiness is the object and design of our whole existence, and so when church imperatives have a long-term negative effect on our health, then we need to make decisions. I too have issues with garments — not psychological ones, they just don’t fit me as my body is way out of the average norm. For decades I have found them a big nusiance. For me, I believe to alter the garment is appropriate, for example, even though it’s not protocol to do so. To alter them would not compromise modesty and would even make it easier for me to comply with the law, so I plan to do that at some point as a personal decision for myself, and my own happiness. I also think it’s more respectful of the garment rather than having them hanging below my long shorts since i am below average height.
As Brian once, said, “garments were made for the man/woman not man/woman for the garments”.
I also agree that a non-LDS therapist might be in order. My wife had a problem years ago and saw an LDS therapist. He was no help although he tried. We sought outside help which was much better for us. And there was no conflict between the church imperatives and the personal imperatives that happen when you see a non-LDS therapist.
I like what Dallin H. O. said — all the church can teach is general principles. If the individual feels they have an exception, they should work it out with the Lord. The problem is, the offical church priesthood might not agree with the Lord-individual resolution, and that’s where things get messy. To stop the messiness, then take personal responsiblity for the decisions you need to make that improve your happiness, and interact with the priesthood leaders only when it’s absolutely necessary.
As a missionary, I once asked if something was allowed. The missionary/leader I asked said “there are some things you don’t ask”, implying that if you ask, the answer sometimes has to be “no” for precedent reasons. However if the leader knew about it, but wasn’t asked directly, and it was not widely known, they might let it go since there is no precedent at risk.
I see your problem with garments in that arena. I would get married with plans to work out the garment problem later. And then do what is best for your heart, your integrity, your happiness, and your relationship with God. And let the inner HSAB be your guide in consultaton with the Lord.
So glad Natasha stopped by to provide some insider perspective from the therapy angle. Wise words!
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