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Late to the topic, but first I have to commend on what a well written letter! I am sure it felt good to write it and get it clear in your mind. It feels good to send such a statement out and it feels like the right thing to do. I hear you on getting tongue tied when talking about such things (I am absolutely the same way). Maybe have this as your outline that you only tell some people close to you and I would encourage you even then to do as others have to say, “For now I need to distance”. Leaving the door open can soften things – even if you feel now there is no way. If in a few years family/friends are making you feel like you are a project (to re-convert you) and you are tired of it, you can get more firm at that time. That also gives them a few years(?) to see that you are still a good person and are doing good and still respect their beliefs. But in the end, this is up to you.
I agree with a lot of what’s been said. I also will say, as someone who might end up marrying and raising a family outside of the church, I do understand the need to tell people something about your faith status to people. If I do end up marrying and raising my family outside of the church, I will simply have to communicate something to my family. They will want answers. Right now I’m trying to figure out how to reveal a little bit about my situation to loved ones so if that does happen, it doesn’t devastate them by catching them off guard. It’s that fine line of wanting to prepare them for the possible yet not wanting to rip the whole band aide off.
Anyway, while some people can say nothing about their faith situation to their TBM loved ones and friends and get by, I understand for others, these kinds of tough conversations needs to happen.
When you’re ready, if you decide to, I agree with what was said before that maybe an outline would help. I don’t think letters work well with these kinds of conversations. I theorize that in most relationships dealing with this kind of loss/change, people need to see the one they love connecting with them when they inform them of the situation.
Well wishes to you!
Also–Mom3–Thank you so much for sharing that podcast. I haven’t finished it yet, but it definitely touched me, and made me shed a few tears as well
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