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For a while now I’ve been contemplating how to best present my introduction. I too have been lurking in the shadows, perusing the posts and threads trying to find answers to my struggles and problems. I am relieved to know there are people like you who are also battling this constant struggle within. To start from the beginning, I was born and raised in a small LDS community in Idaho. I had a great family and church upbringing, and from that I feel I developed my greatest (and possibly worst) characteristics. I served a mission for the church in Brazil, from which I have some of my fondest memories. I was married shortly after returning from my mission, and have never regretted that decision.
For years now, both my wife and I have felt something amiss in our relationship with the LDS church. Ultimately we felt a great lack of the spiritual nourishment from Sunday attendance. Having to hear, teach and learn the same lessons year after year, with no variation seemed to suppress all things spiritual. I soon realized that church wasn’t going to bring me the spirituality and understanding that I sought, so I went out on my own. I soon encountered the online world of LDS discussion, and found that it challenged my intellect and spirituality….and I loved it! I learned about the sordid history of the LDS church and began to understand the reality of paradox within faith. Inevitably I found myself questioning everything about my faith and belief. It’s been extremely turbulent, and I feel like the ride is far from over. Spirituality is something that’s extremely real to me, and now I really feel like I am truly beginning to own it. I no longer base my thoughts or feelings upon what a GA says, or what any scripture or doctrine may say. It’s now up to me to wrestle with it and work out my own interpretation. It’s liberating.
It’s also difficult. I struggle with many things that I once accepted as truth. I’m fortunate because my wife is right alongside with me in this journey, and now we’re both trying to figure it out together. I’m a very positive, optimistic person. I don’t want to leave the church entirely. There is a lot of good in the Church. But quite frankly, sometimes I cannot stand it! And so the struggle continues……
Please feel free to ask of me any questions you might have. Most of my issues appear to have been thoroughly hashed out in previous posts and threads, so I’ll try and not repeat a beaten subject. I’m happy to have found this place, and look forward to getting to know you all here!
Welcome to the site! “I no longer base my thoughts or feelings upon what a GA says, or what any scripture or doctrine may say. It’s now up to me to wrestle with it and work out my own interpretation. It’s liberating.”
Liberating, scary, invigorating, lonely. My wife is not on my journey, alas.
HiJolly
Welcome. I also grew up in a small Idaho Mormon town (Weston), and if your experience was anything like mine….. anyway welcome aboard. Bomcara wrote:I no longer base my thoughts or feelings upon what a GA says, or what any scripture or doctrine may say. It’s now up to me to wrestle with it and work out my own interpretation. It’s liberating.
Sounds like your well on your way! What a blessing to have your dw with you. Good to have you.
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What everyone else has said. Realizing we each are responsible for our own condition truly is liberating – the central “truth” that makes us free, I believe. Welcome Bomcara, I look forward to hearing your perspective on many issues here. Yes, liberating and scary and lonely at times. You are lucky to have your dw on your side. My dh is on my side but not totally in line with my thinking which gives us the opportunity for passionate discussions:) It seems to be good so far though. I hope you enjoy your stay here.
CG
Welcome! Glad to have you with us.
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