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My style of prayers has changed. The amount has increased. I am in this constant conversation. I’d never given it much thought until now. I also talk about myself in the 3rd person. It helps because she is just a pain. Since no one else will rein her in, I have to do the job.
With so many unseen buddies …
My prayers have also changed significantly, but they have definitely not increased in frequency. I recognize that prayer does seem to be a source of comfort for many, such is the the case for me. Yep, alone with my thoughts, alone with my opinions and understandings, alone with my perspective on life and spirituality. No sounding board, no outlet. It’s a problem that loneliness is on the same path with depression and anger and once started it’s hard to stop. Obviously I don’t know how. The church, not the gospel, has wrecked me and I am alone with that. Spouse has what she wants out of life, I don’t. Glad I could help. Work recently gave me 60 day notice after 17 years OTJ, 3 years before retirement. I’m supposed to fast and pray about it, therefore I do. Yep, lonely and tired. Hijacked? Sorry. Kipper – Darn. I hate these seasons. They hurt in an indescribable way. As a fellow sojourners in this experience, I wish I had an antidote to give. We can cure the common cold, but not the broken heart. Feel free to vent more, we will jump in, throw thoughts around and be mental wrestling buddies. Most of all a cyber hug. It’s sincere. I wish I had more I could give. mom3 wrote:Kipper – Darn. I hate these seasons. They hurt in an indescribable way. As a fellow sojourners in this experience, I wish I had an antidote to give. We can cure the common cold, but not the broken heart. Feel free to vent more, we will jump in, throw thoughts around and be mental wrestling buddies. Most of all a cyber hug. It’s sincere. I wish I had more I could give.
Sincere thanks mom3. I figured out that most don’t understand the real physical pain these feeling produce so I have to keep it hidden so as not to look the fool. Today was particularly intense. It will die down soon but the source will always be there ready for another vulnerable time to surface. The hug felt good.
I feel for you Kipper. Keeping up appearances can wear us down just as much as dealing with the underlying situations. 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmTRFvZ_Cp4http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmTRFvZ_Cp4” class=”bbcode_url”> Kipper, really? 3 years before retirement? That sounds like an age discrimination law suite to me. I would talk to a good attorney.
Kipper wrote:Yep, lonely and tired.
I would try prayer. It calms me personally. After you recover, be proactive…put pressure on the problem, until it melts away…
Kipper – I’m really sorry for the job situation. It’s got to be stress second only to serious health problems. I hope being here might buoy you up a little. Ann wrote:Kipper – I’m really sorry for the job situation. It’s got to be stress second only to serious health problems. I hope being here might buoy you up a little.
All comments help some, thanks and I am sorry to hijack making the thread about me. This one about loneliness I really identified with. I do “try” prayer. I internalize to exhaustion.
I think we’re all more than happy to make the thread about you. That’s what we’re here for. :thumbup: nibbler wrote:I think we’re all more than happy to make the thread about you. That’s what we’re here for.
:thumbup:
Kipper – we are glad to have to take over this thread if we can be of any help. Being somewhat new here, this site has helped me quite a bit.Quote:Work recently gave me 60 day notice after 17 years OTJ, 3 years before retirement. I’m supposed to fast and pray about it, therefore I do. Yep, lonely and tired. Hijacked? Sorry.
That’s…I don’t have words for how discouraging that must be! All my sympathy!
It just reinforces the fact that everyone faces real difficulties that don’t always have straightforward answers. Sometimes, I wish we could allow ourselves to be more vulnerable publicly and that society would accept and not become uncomfortable with that expression. It wouldn’t solve our problems automatically but give us more support as we attempt to solve the problems. And we’d probably feel less lonely. This board is certainly a step in the right direction.
Kipper: That is horrible, miserable, and awful. It sucks. I will not promise to pray for you. I will shake my fist heavenward and shout to the cosmos that you have been WRONGED. And 3 years before retirement .. An excellent employment law attorney seems an appropriate next move.
About loneliness .. I don’t want to talk to LDS peeps about my FC. I have no desire to influence their faith or testimony. My non-LDS peeps would love to go share a glass of wine with me after work. I’m not ready for that either. My DH wants me with him at church on Sunday. My non-LDS peeps would love me to go hang out at the lake then .. But I don’t. It feels like social limbo.
OTOH, over the last 5 years I had put on 30 pounds. As I have been more open about my FC, 13 of those pounds have fallen off easily over the last few months. After 5 years of fighting myself over food, I have realized food wasn’t the issue. Honesty in my life was apparently the issue. Who KNEW!!!??? It’s weird to be consistently losing weight through basic exercise and healthy eating after trying so many things.
The only thing that has changed is honesty about my FC. That sinple phrase encompasses so many details and perspectives in my life. Honesty about my FC has changed everything.
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