Looks like my name has come to the top of the list again

[Anonymous]

SD, I know you are in a better place now but I just want to say that I am sorry that you had to go through these painful experiences. Sometimes people suck, both individually and in groups. :thumbdown:

[Anonymous]

Quote:

Any tips on dealing with the question if it arises?

“Thank you. Will you offer it?”

or

“Thank you. I’d prefer to have you say it.”

repeated, if necessary

Works for one or two prayers. If the other person doesn’t get the message, there are some cognitive issues involved. If the other person doesn’t accept it, there won’t be a prayer before things get rolling. There might be extended silence, but that’s the other person’s issue. Keep smiling, and start small talk if it persists. Eventually, it will move on.

[Anonymous]

Roy wrote:

SD, I know you are in a better place now but I just want to say that I am sorry that you had to go through these painful experiences. Sometimes people suck, both individually and in groups. :thumbdown:

Thanks Roy. I credit StayLDS with helping me get so sick of my story I was able to condense it into a few paragraphs above. Now that’s progress… I used to obsess about it.

But to help Dark Jedi — I have found that if I assert myself in my own home, only the most socially inept force me to do something I don’t want. If you’re a thinker like I am, I usually do some informal scenario analysis where I envision the different paths the conversation might take before the visit (kind of like you are doing). I then prepare some short one-liners that assert myself without being offensive. Then, when the actual situation occurs, I find the preparation is often useful. Of course, when dealing with human-beings, you can never predict where the conversation will go, but that preparation gives me confidence. And usually, the conversation goes better than if I did no preparation at all.

[Anonymous]

Old-Timer wrote:

Quote:

Any tips on dealing with the question if it arises?

“Thank you. Will you offer it?”

or

“Thank you. I’d prefer to have you say it.”

repeated, if necessary

Works for one or two prayers. If the other person doesn’t get the message, there are some cognitive issues involved. If the other person doesn’t accept it, there won’t be a prayer before things get rolling. There might be extended silence, but that’s the other person’s issue. Keep smiling, and start small talk if it persists. Eventually, it will move on.

I suppose I could simultaneously bite my tongue and grit my teeth and attempt to say such a thing…. I wonder if I could smile while doing all of that?

[Anonymous]

Old-Timer wrote:

Quote:

Any tips on dealing with the question if it arises?

“Thank you. Will you offer it?”

or

“Thank you. I’d prefer to have you say it.”

I have only once had someone take over as “head of household”, they were asked to never come back. {except my Dad or Father-In-Law, though they “didn’t take over”, out of respect, I turned the option over to them}

When these questions come up, I look right back at the guy and say, “You pray, but keep it short.” I don’t really want the long drawn prayer/lecture. Usually they never really ask again.

The best way, I think, is how my current Bishop did it. He said “Is there anything you would like me to do before I leave?”. I said nope, we are good. He left, no prayer. I could have said, yes, let’s pray. He left it wide open for me to make that decision. Wish everyone would do it that way.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like your Bishop is a good man. :thumbup:

[Anonymous]

Jazernorth wrote:

Old-Timer wrote:

Quote:

Any tips on dealing with the question if it arises?

“Thank you. Will you offer it?”

or

“Thank you. I’d prefer to have you say it.”

I have only once had someone take over as “head of household”, they were asked to never come back. {except my Dad or Father-In-Law, though they “didn’t take over”, out of respect, I turned the option over to them}

When these questions come up, I look right back at the guy and say, “You pray, but keep it short.” I don’t really want the long drawn prayer/lecture. Usually they never really ask again.

The best way, I think, is how my current Bishop did it. He said “Is there anything you would like me to do before I leave?”. I said nope, we are good. He left, no prayer. I could have said, yes, let’s pray. He left it wide open for me to make that decision. Wish everyone would do it that way.

I don’t expect this guy to attempt to take over. Like the other two visitors (bishop and HPGL), I have known this guy since I moved here over 20 years ago and he’s a fairly gentle soul. I don’t see him quite as TBM as the other two (and his wife definitely not), and we’ve actually never been friends or served in a calling together, so essentially we know each other socially from church. Of the other two visitors it was the HPGL who got the clue and didn’t bring up prayer at the end, although the bishop’s was short and simple (no praying for Brother Jedi to soften his heart and return to church, etc.). I just get anxiety about it because prayer is such a big part of my status and I really don’t believe in prayer.

[Anonymous]

So I had the visit today. It was much more low key than the previous two. So much so, in fact, that I wonder if it really was a “Rescue” visit. It was set up the same way as the other two (a phone call asking if he could come visit), but the whole thing was way different, more of a friendly chat about how I was, how is my missionary son doing, how’s my daughter who lives away doing, who’s coming for Christmas, etc. And no prayer. At the end it was “Nice chatting with you, we should have you over for dinner sometime.”

[Anonymous]

Oh, maybe a check on the family thing, especially with missionaries out. They come by to see if you are doing well for Christmas and the winter, especially since you are forking out a lot of money for missionary(ies). This happens periodically to make sure the family isn’t getting strapped by the “service”.

[Anonymous]

Is it possible the visitor is your new home teacher? Sometimes the quorum shuffle up the home teachers. Maybe you have a new home teacher that is more reliable with that duty than the previous home teacher.

[Author]

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