Lots of talk on Stage 5

[Anonymous]

I just thought I’d take the pulse of the moderators on the Stage 5 thinking and the many posts lately on this.

I enjoy the conversation, because it seems to describe to me so well the progression many go through and find this website in the process, but wondered if I view it any differently than you all.

Particularly, with SilentDawning, I feel he continues to miss the point I try to make, but maybe I am over-emphasizing things and not seeing what he is saying. In my general opinion, he has been hurt and falls into the category of “Caring too much, not too little” burnt out mormons, IMO, as well as has had some unfortunate situations and has been offended…thrusting him out of Stage 3.

Although I think he strives to be open minded, his comments still seem very Stage 4-ish to me:

Quote:

So, for me, circling the wagons on certain aspects of our religion, and reducing close interactions with harsh people is an important gateway to allowing other aspects of my testimony and commitment to flourish.

Quote:

So, self-protectionism, boundaries, and acceptance of my own unique warts and flaws is a core value in my brand of Stage 5.

Quote:

So, for me, the peace in Stage 5 is enabled by first providing defences against those areas of Church experience that disturb the healing wound.

It just sounds to me he is in a little too much pain, so not quite figuring out the stage 5 view. That is OK, it can take time and you need to be ready. He just sounds kind of bitter, and defensive, and withdrawing from the church although still attending for his family and tolerating it…not really engaging with a new stage 5 outlook.

What do you think? Am I seeing this the way you kind of see it? Don’t get me wrong, it is good he continues to strive and work through things, but he sounds a bit too unwilling to accept the way others in his ward do things for it to fall under the Conjunctive Faith I read about in Fowlers writings. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

I keep butting heads with him too on this topic. Not in a contentious way at all though. It seems to sail right past him many times. I think he talks more about his relationship with the organization than issues of his faith in Mormon Gospel concepts and religious narratives. He confuses his forgiveness process with his faith journey, and always seems to come back to faith stage = his commitment as a volunteer in the Church.

SD seems hyper-focused on the organization and on receiving validation from high-status people at Church, like he is trying to interpret his personal faith through a business management textbook. I agree he is struggling to let go of those hurtful experiences. But I have to admit, he packed a lot of baggage to carry. I recall that some extreme former dysfunctions in his marriage relationship were really tangled up in The Church for a number of years too. It sounds like he does way too much and has problems perhaps over-committing to projects in his life.

[Anonymous]

That is a great summary, Brian. It’s exactly my thought.

I also am a little concerned about the sheer number of his posts, as well – but he needs validation, so . . .

[Anonymous]

Previously, my favorite post from Ray to SD was the one where you said “ya, you’re not posting enough”

Today’s post on his wife’s release was direct and to the point…stop caring so much what people think…and now becomes my fav! Thanks Ray.

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