- This topic is empty.
-
Posts
-
After a year of stalking this site and enjoying the forums I have decided that it was time to register and participate. I have come to a turning point in my faith and spirituality and could use the support of understanding friends. (Something I have not been able to find among my own friends and family.) First a little about myself… I am an active (though non-believing) member of the church. I am temple married to a good man who has never questioned the church. We both come from large, faithful, rock solid LDS families. Both of our fathers even served as bishops. I grew up in Idaho, and have since lived in Utah for 16 years after getting married. (I have been known to blame living here for a lot of my issues with the church!) We have five amazing children which I homeschool.
First of all, I believe myself to be a very spiritual person. I can feel God’s love easily and often in my life. I do not however take this as a sign that the church is the one and only true church, because I can just as easily feel the spirit while attending another faith, or anyplace at all. I can quickly and easily “connect” with God.
I have ALWAYS been a questioner. In fact, looking back I am not sure there was a time that I really felt that I had a testimony of the restored gospel and its leaders. Instead my testimony has always been based on mine being a child of God, my love for my Savior, and the power of prayer. As far as the teachings of the church, many have not resonated with me, even as a child.
I remember being very disturbed as a small child when I was taught at church that those who were not as valiant in the pre-existence were cursed by being born with black skin, and therefore “deserved” any discrimination they might receive. I didn’t believe this nonsense, and have since always had a deep sensitivity and love for anyone of different color.
I remember 9th grade Seminary class when my teacher was discussing how our prophets would never be allowed to lead its members astray. I raised my hand and asked if this was why God didn’t prevent Joseph Smith from being shot and killed while the church was still in its infancy. I will never forget the look he gave me, and how uneasy it made me feel. I learned that day to keep these kinds of thoughts to myself.
As far as polygamy goes… I have always found the whole idea to be utterly ridiculous, and never believed this could be revelation from God. I was once told, “Well, if you are unable to accept polygamy in the next life than you will be unable to build up your own kingdom as fast as the rest of us” I remember thinking… So What!
My mother use to tell me that until I was able to find a testimony of my own, I could lean on hers. This sounded somewhat reasonable because she studied the B.O.M hours a day. Only when I asked her what she thought of J.S. having so many wives she said. “What are you talking about, Joseph Smith didn’t practice polygamy, that is absurd!” Hmmmm.
Temples have always seemed “weird”. I have probably been 100 times and have yet to walk away without feeling… what a strange place. I now just view them as purely symbolic places, and little more.
I have always been an active member, and just tried not to think too deeply about church history. This worked for me fine for most my life. Then, about four years ago I started really questioning everything and demanded answers for myself. Answers from the church itself were few and hard to find. “Trust the brethren” seemed to be the answer to everything. That is when I resorted to non-endorsed books, and the Internet. A dangerous place indeed, but also with this knowledge comes the awesome feeling of owning yourself and your beliefs. I feel I have come to terms with what I believe.
I attend church regularly primarily because I believe it to be a wonderful organization to raise my children in. The church is a very impressive entity, and has done much to bless the lives of many. If you doubt this, take a guided tour of their Humanitarian Services Center… Holy Crap, it is amazing! My husband and I kind of have the understanding that I can believe what I want, as long a I keep attending church, and keep my opinions to myself. I have never found anyone I could discuss my views with, without feeling guilty that I may hurt their faith.
Everything has recently changed for me. Through a very personal experience involving a dream, I have found myself very drawn to a new faith. A lot of deep study has also led me there as well. I have become very interested in the Baha’i faith. I doubt many of you know much about the Baha’i, but interestingly enough, they know a lot about us. They have a great respect for the LDS church. We have very similar high values, morals and teaching. They viewed Joseph Smith as an inspired seer who prophesied of many important dates and event that did not come to pass to our knowledge, but did happen according to them. Over the past few months I have read over a dozen Baha’i books, and made some Baha’i friends. Among the books I have read are one by a former Mormon Institute director, and another neat book about our commonalities written by a Baha’i man with a Mormon wife. I would go into more detail about their teaching but I do not know whether that would be appropriate on this forum.
My husband has not been happy with this recent development of mine. He has forbid me to associate with anyone of this faith and has assured me that if I continue on this path it could be detrimental to our marriage, and family relations. Sadly I am afraid he could be right. I am in such need of friends I can talk to about my struggles, that I have decided to finally become a part of this forum that I have been stalking for some time now.
I will conclude this introduction of mine with one of my favorite quotes, attributed to Rudyard Kipling…
“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.”
Welcome. I hope you can find joy here with us. (As an admin here, I changed the title from “Stalker” to “Lurker” – mostly just to avoid weird internet searches linking to it.)
Welcome, flowerdrops! This site could be perfect for you in your current phase on your journey. What you said really resonated with me and sounded, oh so familiar to others on this site. So much of what you wrote, especially about the responses of various adults to your teen questioning, really resonated for me. Your exchange on polygamy is very similar to my own conversation with a youth leader when I was a teen. The Ba’hai have many admirable traits. Perhaps you can share some of the things that draw you to them. They have a deep respect for all living things and are drawn to positive energy. And Rainn Wilson is one of them. Obviously, a cool group.
Glad to have you at the site.
Old-Timer wrote:(As an admin here, I changed the title from “Stalker” to “Lurker” – mostly just to avoid weird internet searches linking to it.)
Ha! Thanks.. Lurker is probably a better word. Or perhaps a StayLDS loiterer.
Welcome to the group (officially). I’m interested to hear what things draw you to Ba’hai – perhaps I should study some of it. I like to find truth where ever I can find it! hawkgrrrl wrote:The Ba’hai have many admirable traits. Perhaps you can share some of the things that draw you to them. They have a deep respect for all living things and are drawn to positive energy. And Rainn Wilson is one of them. Obviously, a cool group.
Aside from the incredible people I have met, I absolutely love their basic teachings. (Which are the same as they were 150 years ago when they were first taught) Here are the basics…
-All humanity is one family.
-Women and men are equal.
-All prejudice-racial, religious, national, or economic is destructive and must be overcome
-We must investigate truth for ourselves, without preconceptions
-Science and religion are in harmony
-Our economic problems are linked to spiritual problems
-The family and its unity are very important
-There is one God
-All major religions come from God
-World peace is the crying need of our time
Their belief in “progressive revelation” makes a lot of sense to me as I have always believed that the worlds great religions were inspired by God, regardless of what man has done over the years to muck them up. The also follow what is similar to our Word of Wisdom, practice abstinence until marriage, and strongly believe in service. They even recommend a year spent in service (not proselyting) after graduating highschool. -awesome!
Moderators… if it is inappropriate for me to be talking up other faiths on this site please let me know.
flowerdrops wrote:Their belief in “progressive revelation” makes a lot of sense to me as I have always believed that the worlds great religions were inspired by God, regardless of what man has done over the years to muck them up.
Sounds like all good stuff.So what would their stance be on the Book of Mormon? Did it come from God?
Do they have a leader for their religion that speaks for God?
(interesting stuff).
Welcome to our group! I’m excited to get to know you since you probably know us a little already! Heber13 wrote:So what would their stance be on the Book of Mormon? Did it come from God?
Do they have a leader for their religion that speaks for God?
(interesting stuff).
They view the B.O.M as not historical, but perhaps an inspired parable. The faith was founded by two consecutive men (The Bab and Baha’u’llah) whom they view as prophets/manifestations of God. Currently they are overseen by a Universal House of Justice. Nine elected men who they believe are directed and inspired by God. On State and local levels they have Spiritual Assemblies. Nine elected men and women who meet together to address they needs of the community. They have no clergy, and no Sunday services (however they put together lots of firesides and devotionals you can attend, as well as youth and child groups) They meet together every 19 days for a feast/gathering. They do not have a living prophet, which is probably the greatest thing about our church (also something I have questioned)
On a side note it is fun for me to share a bit of my Baha’i knowledge with fellow Mormons without being told that I am being deceived by Satan!
flowerdrops wrote:On a side note it is fun for me to share a bit of my Baha’i knowledge with fellow Mormons without being told that I am being deceived by Satan!
It is refreshing, isn’t it!?! One of the many reasons I like it here.
Well, you know, we are Mormon – so we’ve signed our pact with the devil already. Haven’t you heard? 🙄 Flowerdrops, I am impressed with all of their basic teachings. My sister who is a practicing but unbelieving Catholic is looking into the MasterPath teachings. It is crazy how many different teachings there are out there and that believe they are led by God. I’m so happy with the concept of finding truth wherever you find it and relying on your own heart and what you feel and believe is true.
I am so sorry about your husband. It is so hard to keep your opinions to yourself. That is where I am at right now. Thank goodness for this site!
flowerdrops wrote:On a side note it is fun for me to share a bit of my Baha’i knowledge with fellow Mormons without being told that I am being deceived by Satan!
Hah!
It sounds like you have a wonderful innate spirituality that was probably dormant for a time, but is being awakened and remembered now. I have felt that too.
Your learning of the Baha’i Faith is very threatening to your husband, as was much of my investigation to my wife. I hope you can find the way to be reverently assuring to him that your dedication to him and your children is strengthened. It may help to share or post in your home Brother Joseph’s statements about “truth from every quarter” that Brian recently shared (
http://forum.staylds.com/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=1134&p=12867 yourLDS Church, if that is where you choose to stay (my personal opinion is that greatest growth is found that way). I look forward to hearing snippets from you about the Baha’i Faith in the coming discussions.
I was just thinking of that Sunstone article too Tom. It’s come up in recent conversations and applies so well to this one. I’ll past the link here again. I’m not always sure links to their pdf’s work right based on how their site operates at Sunstone, so people might have to go to their website and then get to the article. In any case it’s called “Grand Fundamental Principles of Mormonism” and is taken from a deep reformation that Joseph seemed to want to enact in the year before his death. It’s taken from his sermons in late 1843 up to 1844. I think it echos the Unitarian and Universalist ideas we are talking about, and certainly Mormonism shares with the Ba’hai. I agree with the OP probably that a large number of rank an file members do not grasp these trends in Mormonism, but they are there. I think they are at the core of what Old-Timer calls “Pure Mormonism.” In fact almost that exact term is used by Joseph in his late sermons. Here’s the link: http://www.sunstoneonline.com/magazine/issues/141/141-32-41.pdf If you can’t get to it via this link, it is at
http://www.sunstonemagazine.com , follow the “Magazine” menu tab at the top, scroll down to issue 141(April 2006), select “Browse Articles in this Issue,” and then look for the link to the PDF for “The Grand Fundamental Principles of Mormonism: Joseph Smith’s Unfinished Reformation” by Don Bradley.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.