Man have I grown recently

[Anonymous]

I know this is the Support section of the forum, but I really feel like this belongs here. I hope you don’t mind.

I joined this board several months ago, and posted quite regulalry for awhile, but recently I have simply been reading the messages at every opportunity, and have been enjoying it. So many of you have shared experiences, stories, and suggestions that have all conspired to give me the courage to take some pretty serious steps in my life, and I am very grateful to you all. As you may know, I have been struggling with some pretty serious issues with the church, my family, and my own very personal crap that I really haven’t shared too openly, but I now feel as though I can do so. So, if you don’t mind, I would like to tell you all a bit about where I am in life. Perhaps some of you can relate to some of it and offer some suggestions, and just maybe I can offer some help to you as well.

I’d like to start out by telling you a little about what is going well in my life. I have never been this content with who I am in more than 20 years. My self awareness has never been better, and my feelings of self-worth are growing by the day. There are days I actually get out of bed with anticipation for what might happen. I smile alot more, and my co-workers and friends have noticed. Basically, life has really improved by leaps and bounds for me. My depression has decreased greatly, and the feelings of hopelessness are pretty much gone. I now have faith that somehow I can make it.

Several people have given me some fabulous advice, but one person on this board gave me a few suggestions recently that have made all the difference in the world to me – this friend suggested I accept who I am, and go from there. So that is what I have done, and it has really helped me alot. My marriage will be ending, I still don’t talk to my family, I will still work 2 full-time jobs, and I no longer attend meetings. In fact, not attending church was the first step I took in my long journey towards true happiness. I’m not saying I will never return, but I sure do feel a great sense of stress relief since I quit. Now, I would never suggest that anyone else take this step, but it has clearly been the right one for me.

Anyway, I have learned that there is no way to be happy by doing things for other people. I now know that I must find happiness myself, and I am definitely working on that – whatever it may be. So, I just wanted to thank you all for the support and compassion. This is a great site, and I’m looking forward to spending more time here in the future. Thanks so much folks!!

[Anonymous]

Thanks, wendell, for sharing that.

Of course, you know that I hope (deeply and sincerely) that you are able to find yourself and your own true core in such a way that you can return to activity with and in the LDS Church – but you are correct that it simply must be your decision to make.

[Anonymous]

Old-Timer wrote:

Thanks, wendell, for sharing that.

Of course, you know that I hope (deeply and sincerely) that you are able to find yourself and your own true core in such a way that you can return to activity with and in the LDS Church – but you are correct that it simply must be your decision to make.

Ray,

Thank you so much for responding – I wasn’t sure anyone would.

I appreciate the support.

[Anonymous]

I’m so glad to hear the update! I’m glad things are improving for you despite the trials you are going through.

Life truly is an amazing ride!

[Anonymous]

wendell wrote:

Basically, life has really improved by leaps and bounds for me. My depression has decreased greatly, and the feelings of hopelessness are pretty much gone. I now have faith that somehow I can make it.

What a great update, it is good to hear these outcomes and remind me that things can change for all of us over time…that makes my day to hear you have that faith in yourself. Thanks for sharing!

wendell wrote:

In fact, not attending church was the first step I took in my long journey towards true happiness. I’m not saying I will never return, but I sure do feel a great sense of stress relief since I quit. Now, I would never suggest that anyone else take this step, but it has clearly been the right one for me.

… I now know that I must find happiness myself, and I am definitely working on that – whatever it may be.

I think there are great times and seasons in our life, and sometimes we need to focus on getting healthy ourselves before we can take care of others (like the safety instruction on an airplane…put your oxygen mask on first, then help your children).

At some point, you may find the desire to re-engange in the church, or serving others in some other organization as a way to find increased peace and happiness … and then again, you may not need that. If things are going better for you…that seems to be a sign you are on the right path and don’t need to rock that boat. Life makes twists and turns to keep it interesting…the good and the bad.

Good to hear from you, buddy!

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the update, Wendell!

Your perspective is so valuable to all of us!

[Anonymous]

Wendell

As I was reading your post I felt such peace! I am so happy for you! Thanks for sharing your feelings.

[Anonymous]

Thanks to you all for your kind words. While I do have problems with ALOT of church members, it is so refreshing to know how truly Christian some LDS people can be. I continue to learn so much from so many of you. Thanks again.

Wendell

[Anonymous]

Hey Wendell…what great news! I am so happy to hear this. Hope you read my recent post on where our path is going recently and in regards to our gay son. God works in mysterious ways and truly loves people in all the learning paths they are on. Keep us informed.

[Anonymous]

Wow. You sound like a new man!

[Author]

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