- This topic is empty.
-
Posts
-
Started out with a meeting with my bishop during Sunday School last Sunday. He put me in to become HP. Yes I’m excited to progress but wasn’t expecting that. 😮 Qualifications – I live the standards, honestly answered interview questions about testimony, hold a calling in YM presidency and I’m certainly old enough (late 50’s). Why am I concerned? Thought you’d never ask. Bishop mentioned that when they ask you to do something they expect it will get done. Translation: callings will become more time consuming. This is issue number one I have with the church. I am way too active to be spending my spare time doingnothing but church activities and callings. No need for details, you all know what I mean. They say balance is key but they don’t really mean it. They expect more. I am not sure how to answer the question if it comes up but even if it doesn’t I have recently made a commitment to myself to get back to my personal activities which I have been sacrificing for too many years. I don’t like being soft and pale and week and easily winded. I don’t like to drop out of night school and not able to pursue personal goals. I deeply regret not being able to visit friends and family due to time. I don’t understand why anyone would accept that but that’s OK, I don’t care and won’t judge or think you should be like me. I’m not sure how this part of the interview is going to go because I have a lot on my chest that might spill out about this subject. I’ve learned on this board not to question with excitement or defensiveness so I’ll give it my best effort but ya know if I really said what I am willing to commit I don’t think I would be accepted. Do what you can. Period. We are told we can’t run faster than we are able – and that’s an incredibly important principle. Due to financial issues, I did that while serving on the High Council – attending only the meetings that were absolutely required. As I have said multiple times, if they ask you to do something, they get you – not someone else and not a robot.
I get your concern. It was partly this Bishop’s attitude that got me burned out a while ago. Your Bishop sounds like he’s gotten bitten by the hard-line expectation bug that confuses corporate America with volunteer land. When I read his comment that he [or the SP] “expects it done” — I have NEVER heard even my corporate America bosses speak to me that way…. As people who read here know, I also have expectations of volunteers, but only after I do my homework and figure out what they have to give, what their talents are, and where possible, let them self-select what will “get done” and what will not “get done”. Progress in volunteer contexts are usually an expression of the strengths and passions of the people in place at the time — you get more when you identify and tap into those strengths — and so do the volunteers.
And by the way, expectations are not a one-way street with the church leaders taking and not meeting your own minimal expectations….
I like Ray’s approach….and if I was sitting across from that Bishop, I would have a serious chat about my role as a volunteer, what he can expect from me, and by the way — a kindly worded, but firm statement that I have certain expectations too – from him. Here’s my list — a timely release if the calling is too much of a burden, meetings that are productive, interactive and necessary. Responsiveness when I ask for individuals to support me in my calling….And by the way, I will be very discerning about when meetings are of value, and when they are simply “time-users” [a nice way of saying “time wasters”]. And since the moment to share this with the SP and whichever counselor you will PPI with has passed – be prepared to share it in the future.
What’s your list of expectations from the local leaders in this calling? And do you think its important to communicate them? If so, how?
I’d be pretty frank with him, explaining your thoughts and feelings about regrets you have had and things you think you need to do. I’m also in my 50s, and totally understand where you are coming from – he should, too. In actuality, this should be little more than a worthiness interview which you state you have passed – that is, of course, unless there’s also a calling that’s about to be extended. I would let them know you are willing. Just tell yourself you may not always be able, because you have priorities. You can try to do what they ask when you can, when you can’t, that’s ok too. Sometimes time to be at home with my kids is good enough for me to say no to things. No one else can tell me how fast I need to run. That’s up to me. But they know I have a willing heart.
All four replies very helpful. All have something to do with my need to take charge or at least have a role in decisions that are made on my behalf. Actually I have the right. I’m not good at that. The interview with SP tonight went fine and relatively brief. Lots on my mind but it was not the right time and place. I think this board serves that purpose better. Thanks to all who take time from your day to contribute here. Kipper wrote:Lots on my mind but it was not the right time and place.
:thumbup: way to go.Sometimes not bringing things up is a good strategy.
I’m glad to know it went well. Sometimes, silence really is golden.
Not to scare you, but in my experience while bishop, I NEVER turned in somebodies name to be made a HP unless it was for a calling that required them to be a HP. And then it was done together. FYI, callings that you must be a HP for are HPGL, his two assistants, Bishop, and the two councilors. Everything else can be an Elder. Watch your back! Fwiw, I know plenty of situations where requests were made to ordain people to be High Priests for no reason other than their age. There might be a calling coming in the future, but there might not be. It might be nothing more than you being old.
Old-Timer wrote:Fwiw, I know plenty of situations where requests were made to ordain people to be High Priests for no reason other than their age.
There might be a calling coming in the future, but there might not be. It might be nothing more than you being old.
That’s what I think too. Peers, progress, grooming.
The good news is that after they install you in the position, they can’t control what you do — unless you let them. Try as they might, free agency really is something you own. Sheldon wrote:Not to scare you, but in my experience while bishop, I NEVER turned in somebodies name to be made a HP unless it was for a calling that required them to be a HP. And then it was done together. FYI, callings that you must be a HP for are HPGL, his two assistants, Bishop, and the two councilors. Everything else can be an Elder. Watch your back!
It happened to me. That was about the time my shelf really started to crack.
SilentDawning wrote:The good news is that after they install you in the position, they can’t control what you do — unless you let them. Try as they might, free agency really is something you own.
:thumbup: +1.
Heber13 wrote:SilentDawning wrote:The good news is that after they install you in the position, they can’t control what you do — unless you let them. Try as they might, free agency really is something you own.
:thumbup: +1.
So, I was sustained in Stake Conference and will be ordained tonight as High Priest. Have to say it brings good feelings mixed with apprehension. My “peers” are supportive and they are my friends. When we moved into this area 18 years ago and then for several years I was an inactive 40 year old priest. They have watched my progression and have a desire to be there tonight as supporters and it feels good. This really is a big move for me and I understand the reward and responsibility.There is satisfaction I get serving, helping to lead youth in the right direction and just being part of a kinetic organization but most of what I do for the church I do to make others happy. Nobody knows what is in my head and in my heart and I have been getting used to that but sometimes it’s real hard. This board is where I go for questions and understanding. This is where I found out that I’m not nuts. I am all in for this higher calling/office but I still hold on to dreams and goals that are priority to me. I hope to avoid emotionally bumpy times ahead.
Well, I just had to get a little off my mind. Time to move on I guess.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.