- This topic is empty.
-
Posts
-
Sorry, that wasn’t much of a response, it’s just that the pastor’s response includes a few elements that I feel are the very things that are driving people away. 1) The people that stay are the ones that were converted. Easy to say, right? The kids that are still here
mustbe the ones that were truly converted. It reminds me of one of the incorrect assumptions that we often face… someone stopped attending because they never had a testimony. He’s being judgmental in his attempt to reason why people have left. His reason fits his worldview but it might drive people in a different worldview even further away. In the opening paragraph he sets up an all or nothing scenario. Paul never said “nominal Christian” or “pretty good kid,” there’s no wiggle room. Why would a departed millennial want to return to a place where the message is us vs. them? Especially considering that he paints the departed millennial as a them.
He says:
Quote:We need to stop talking about “good kids.”
In a way he’s right, but we don’t need to replace that with talking about “fully converted kids.” In my opinion it would be better if we dropped the labels. A close second would be to think of the less than fully converted as still being good kids.
2) I’d love to have more “man days” in our church.
:thumbup: Dare I say people need fun activities in order to fellowship. I’ve seen activities diminished by the phrase “what is the gospel purpose of this activity.” You don’t have to set aside 30 minutes of an activity to rant about how we should be doing xyz, fellowship with the saints can be a gospel purpose.I’ve felt like we should relax shoehorning a purpose into everything we do. Who knows, maybe someone only shows up to have fun for a decade, builds up a friend base, and then decides to go be with their friends on a Sunday. They find their way back. That might be harder to do when an activity feels like any other Sunday meeting. Regulated and with a targeted message. What would a departed millennial be more likely to attend, a BBQ or another lecture on how we should be doing more missionary work?
People can learn gospel principles informally at activities, you don’t have to set apart time for a lesson. We learn by example from interacting with others. Wow, no one cursed out the ref in that basketball game when he made that boneheaded call that cost them the game. How can I apply that in my life?
When reading this section I found myself thinking – it sounds like you have good activities for the youth but you don’t have many activities that interest the millennials or the adults. It’s easier to show up on Sunday if we’ve got friends. It’s hard to make friends in a Sunday meeting environment.
3) I dunno, Maybe. I think this one is more of a call to get the parents of young children more involved than it is a reason millennials have departed.
—
There’s a strong undercurrent in this article and in others that I’ve read. The ministering person is overly concerned with church attendance. It’s not “are they still living a good, happy life,” it’s “they need to be here serving the church.” Church as essential to salvation is a mindset. I will say that it feels like the concern is more about people serving the church than it is over the actual people and that can be a turn off for millennials.
Perhaps the role of the church is to teach morals to the youth that they then take with them after they’ve departed. Church was there long enough to instill “love thy neighbour as thyself” and that was their role. I can see how the concern is, who is going to keep the process going for future generations. It’s never simple.
I guess this just goes to show how hard it is for people to minister to those that have left their congregations. The two sides have a hard time understanding one another. There are people that are yearning to be ministered unto and there are people that have become self reliant… and you can’t tell the difference between the two at altitude.
It is good to realize that the issues we face aren’t unique to us. Thank you, mom3, for sharing this. Excellent insight, nibbler.
I am reminded of the classic Billy Joel song, “Only the Good Die Young”:
Quote:“I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints. The sinners are much more fun.”
I like that the LDS Church is supposed to be a moderate balance of the two extremes, but I mourn when it isn’t what it is supposed to be and moves toward an extreme – and when natural judgmentalism excludes rather than expands.
I forgot to mention, it probably would have been far simpler and less judgmental for me to have left it at “ask people why they left, don’t tell them why they left.” nibbler wrote:Sorry, that wasn’t much of a response, it’s just that the pastor’s response includes a few elements that I feel are the very things that are driving people away.
1) The people that stay are the ones that were converted. Easy to say, right? The kids that are still here
mustbe the ones that were truly converted. It reminds me of one of the incorrect assumptions that we often face… someone stopped attending because they never had a testimony. He’s being judgmental in his attempt to reason why people have left. His reason fits his worldview but it might drive people in a different worldview even further away.
I read a few comments and the first one was, “I WAS FULLY CONVERTED – 100% and I left”. Sounds just like what we can read over and over on comments in the LDS community.tl;dr. 1) blame the youth, 2) blame the pastor, 3) blame the parents. nibbler wrote:I forgot to mention, it probably would have been far simpler and less judgmental for me to have left it at “ask people why they left, don’t tell them why they left.”
It can’t be the church. I mean, that has worked for all righteous generations since Adam and Eve. Must be something else….
🙄 nibbler wrote:I forgot to mention, it probably would have been far simpler and less judgmental for me to have left it at “ask people why they left, don’t tell them why they left.”
Three cheers for asking. And I like that lately there have been a couple of GC talks (Elder Scott? Can’t remember) about various reasons people leave or take breaks. We love conversion stories – the ins and outs of a person’s background and thinking as they came into contact with the church – but often don’t allow that the exit story is just as complex.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.