Moderation and Me

[Anonymous]

Thanks for all the time and effort you put into this board to help It retain its unique mission. I really appreciate your perspectives on things.

[Anonymous]

I’ve been meaning to comment on this post since I first read it shortly after it was posted, but I wanted to have the time to appropriately do so. I don’t think I have anything profound to say. Thanks, Ray, for all you do. I do read and sometimes participate in some other forums and other places on the bloggernacle. I don’t do so as regularly as I do here (usually checking in a few times a day here) because the tone of most of them is not what it is here. I’m not pointing fingers or criticizing here, but the NOM site, for instance, which would appear to have a very similar mission to this site (according to their mission statement), is a very negative place at times and seems to be more encouraging of leaving the church than staying. I’ve corresponded with some mods there, and they don’t seem to like the direction it has gone but also don’t or can’t fix it. I think it is your effort at finding the happy medium here that has kept this site a safe place that does stick to its mission. Your analogy of the light at the end of the tunnel could not be more true for me – I don’t believe I would still be a member of the church today without this site.

For what it’s worth, I haven’t had any difficulty in distinguishing between Ray as a person and Ray as a moderator. I think it’s pretty clear when you are moderating [admin note….] and when you’re being Ray. Having been involved with both of the individuals you refer to in your post, I understand where you’re coming from – these were both individuals that could have played positive roles and contributed here but chose not to despite moderation. I had wondered out loud if it had to do with the full moon or something. It was just coincidental that both of these individuals came around at the same time and created more work – and more stress – for the mods. We are an inclusive community, and I appreciate that, but clearly some people don’t belong because their aim is to tear down instead of build up. Despite my own complaints about these individuals (one in particular), some of that was personal (and some of what he said was taken personally by me) and I think it was handled fairly. I don’t think I have seen a situation here that I would say was not handled fairly and that is a credit to you, Ray, and to the other mods.

Thanks again, and keep up the good work. :thumbup:

[Anonymous]

Thanks for your service. Seriously. I know you weren’t looking for thanks but you’ll get it nonetheless.

You may have an idea but I’m sure you’ll never know how much of an impact you’ve had on people’s lives. It doesn’t even have to be a light at the end of the tunnel – sometimes it’s just light after all other lights have been extinguished. And before that third pat on the back lands… that goes for everyone that contributes here. Thanks all!

I recognize that it takes moderation to create a place where people can help one another. I also appreciate that moderation must walk a fine line, in some ways it helps me walk a fine line as well. If the site were to spiral in one direction or the other I might have more of a tendency to do the same. I can be very monkey see, monkey do at times and it helps when the monkey is walking the fine line.

I like mackay11’s suggestion. A generic “admin” account that is shared by admins when an admin needs to do some lifting. That way we don’t know who to take offense to… but it was probably Ray.

And if you’ll all indulge me, my brain is wired this way and the conversation has conjured up certain thoughts:

Ray does not have to say “Thus saith the Admin” to give us a post.

Some posts are of Ray: some posts are of the admin: and some posts are of the devil.

The more things change… :angel:

[Anonymous]

Thanks Ray for all of your work and efforts with this site! Wouldn’t still be going to church if I hadn’t found it. Thank you to you and the other moderators.

[Anonymous]

As I read your post I found myself thinking “I bet this is how the leadership of the church feels, too.” Leading any organization is challenging, and I thank you for your efforts here. I hope you can find a way to resolve the tension you feel about your dual roles here on the forum…

[Anonymous]

alltruth wrote:

As I read your post I found myself thinking “I bet this is how the leadership of the church feels, too.” Leading any organization is challenging, and I thank you for your efforts here. I hope you can find a way to resolve the tension you feel about your dual roles here on the forum…

True. I have found one thing that tempers my frustration with leaders is to put myself in their shoes. I appreciate just how much time they put in. This helps MOST of the time, but sometimes it does not when I think, “I would NEVER do that!” Which might be true, but I might do some other different bone-headed action.

[Anonymous]

I can only pop in every few days here and just saw this thread. Ray, you are one of the most balanced moderators I have observed on the sites I read. I have had no trouble distinguishing between you and when you have to put the moderator hat on. I am sorry that we, collectively, have not been better about expressing our gratitude for your many hours of service reading all these threads and maintaining the mission statement. You fulfill a major role here and have probably helped many more people than you will ever know. Since I was a lurker for years, I know there have to be many more lurkers just like me! A big thank you to you and all the other moderators, Heber13 and all others! I feel this is very important work here!

[Anonymous]

afterall wrote:

I can only pop in every few days here and just saw this thread. Ray, you are one of the most balanced moderators I have observed on the sites I read. I have had no trouble distinguishing between you and when you have to put the moderator hat on. I am sorry that we, collectively, have not been better about expressing our gratitude for your many hours of service reading all these threads and maintaining the mission statement. You fulfill a major role here and have probably helped many more people than you will ever know. Since I was a lurker for years, I know there have to be many more lurkers just like me! A big thank you to you and all the other moderators, Heber13 and all others! I feel this is very important work here!

+1

Thank you, Ray, and all the others.

[Anonymous]

Given what has happened here in the past few days, I thought I should bump up this thread from late last year.

Many or most of you have read it previously, but for all of you who are new participants or lurkers, I hope it helps explain how our moderation works – and helps anyone who is concerned about being moderated. It really does happen relatively rarely, overall. It tends to go in flurries and is focused on one or two people at any given time.

[Anonymous]

Okay.

I’ll leave.

Peace friends. And that includes you Ray.

Out.

[Anonymous]

Thank you, friend. Believe it or not, my feelings for you have not changed.

Go with the gods. Find peace.

May there be a road.

[Anonymous]

Ray:

Thank you for sharing a little bit about yourself. I appreciate your candor. Your efforts and the efforts of the other moderators are appreciated.

Sincerely,

Amateur Parent

[Anonymous]

Ray,

Thanks for what you do. I have to say that I typically have seen things through the eyes of those being moderated, so there have been times when I’ve felt like the moderation was unwarranted. However, at the same time, I recognize that you are in a VERY difficult position. You’re trying to find a balance between keeping the forum open to different ideas and perspectives, from a huge range of people and backgrounds, while at the same time you’re trying to ensure that the site stays inline with the mission that it is intended for. I don’t envy the tightrope act that you have to perform. I think we all appreciate the site, and recognize the amount of time that you put into it, even if we might see things from a different perspective. Thanks! :thumbup:

[Anonymous]

Holy Cow wrote:

Ray,

Thanks for what you do. … You’re trying to find a balance between keeping the forum open to different ideas and perspectives, from a huge range of people and backgrounds, while at the same time you’re trying to ensure that the site stays inline with the mission that it is intended for. I don’t envy the tightrope act that you have to perform. …even if we might see things from a different perspective. Thanks! :thumbup:

Holy Cow…that is very important to recognize and thanks for sharing.

There is no manual on moderating…it is judgment of the moderators. But Ray especially has been very consistent over time, which is what keeps the site inline with it’s purpose, and avoids getting into negativity. I don’t think that equates to polyanna or naive rhetoric where we aren’t allowed to express feelings. Just that we should all be responsible with how we express them, or not express them.

Being consistent over time is not easy. Ray does it well.

[Anonymous]

I am bumping this up for new participants to read, so everyone understands how and why we moderate here – and my role throughout the years. If you haven’t read this post and thread, please do so.

I want to add one short note:

We don’t moderate much, but some of it is due to the numerous readers we have who never join officially. Many of them are struggling in some way and simply don’t want to comment, but many of them are more traditional / orthodox members who are trying sincerely to understand those who struggle. We have to keep our entire readership in mind as we moderate, even though we don’t moderate much, overall.

Anyway, don’t stop with that summary. Please read the whole thing.

[Author]

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