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Here is an interesting write up on Mormon culture – out of control. Having lived outside of Utah, and now in Utah, I believe this to be less of a “Mormon culture” problem, and more of a “Utah Mormon” problem. An Interesting look at Utah culture. http://www.mormontimes.com/mormon_voices/orson_scott_card/?id=7751 I can relate to the huge feasts! It is pretty much expected here that following any baptism, baby blessing or mission farewell, a huge banquet be put on for friends and family. My husband has a ginormous family and I have had to feed over 80 people in my home! I remember being overwhelmed about putting on a parties for baby blessings (baptisms I didn’t mind so much, because my kids looked forward to it), I would prefer to be able to stay for the following two hours of church… not go home and feed everyone. My in-laws reply was… “You can’t expect us to all come up for the blessing if you don’t plan on feeding us” Arrrgh! Needless to say… I have thrown a lot of big parties.
As far as the Bunko parties go… I have never played, but there are a ton of “bunko groups” out there. I don’t really see this as a big deal. Just a way to socialize. Its usually groups of woman who need a break and have some time out with the girls. Then again, I have never played so I don’t really know what goes on.
I am reading the article but I had to stop and comment. He mentioned missionary farewells with a picture of the young man on the program. Okay, yeah, that seems a little tacky. BUT then he makes a paragraph about that being the same thing as a picture of the deceased on a funeral program. That is not an LDS tradition. I’ve seen that in other funerals. Not that I’ve been to many, but even old ones I’ve come across in my family research. That is a common thing. And I don’t think it is wrong.
There, I said it.
I’ve never heard of the whole feast and movie/slide show at a baptism. That is totally against the rules in my stake. They also discourage open houses for missionaries. They don’t allow food to be a part of a baptism unless you get special permission from the bishop in advance and it is made clear that it is not part of the baptism program.
Quote:It’s like the old Mormon tradition of tossing food scraps into the “happy fruit” or “funny fruit” jar on the kitchen counter, where it “aged” and then got added to punches or desserts.
It wasn’t “aging,” kids, it was fermenting. Just because it was brewed at home didn’t mean it wasn’t an alcoholic beverage that violated the Word of Wisdom!
LOL! I guess he had never heard the antecdote Ray told us about David McKay eating Rum Cake!
😆 I’m sorry, but this has me rolling. Of course, I would have totally agreed with Orson Card just a year and a half ago.Quote:If our pioneer forebears had foreseen some of the silliness and wretched excess of their descendants in “Zion,” would they have bothered to sacrifice and suffer and struggle to get their families to the “tops of the mountains”?
And yet these follies continue to crop up — and then sweep from one ward and stake to another. The Brethren continue to have to try to stamp out these wildfires of idiocy wherever they crop up.
Silliness
Wretched excess
Folly
Wildfires of idiocy
Well, I guess we know he feels strongly about the topic. Yes, the early Mormon pioneers would have crossed the plains to Utah even if they knew the future. They didn’t exactly have much choice. Or maybe he is talking about building a temple. I’m certain they built those for their own use and purpose, too. It is just a weird argument.
Now for my positive response. I think that there are always fads and traditions that can be harmful or just distracting. He is correct about that. Trying to keep up with Brother and Sister Jones is not healthy or a path to happiness or truth. Going into debt to put on a feast or spending hours putting together a slide show of your 8 year old baptism candidate are probably not a great idea.
flowerdrops, I think that the stress and expectation of feeding a large group in your home is an example of a tradition gone awry. It certainly makes it hard to enjoy what the day is about when you have to focus on hostessing a party. I think part of the strength of these cultural traditions is that we all have such a hard time saying “no.” I’m not in Utah, so I only see glimpses of this cultural stuff when I visit or talk to our extended family out there. I guess I don’t really know how much tradition is viewed as gospel.
We had a Bunko Night for an Enrichment activity. While I am not really into that kind of thing it was really fun. No money involved. I’m pretty sure the idea came from people who’ve played it in Utah.
One of the best times I’ve ever had with the sisters was playing some card game at a women’s retreat. We were the last to go home. We played it for a few hours with a group of 10-12 women. We laughed so hard our tummy’s hurt, tears spurting out. We saw sides to some of the ladies that we’d never seen before. It was the BEST!
Seems to me that we’re doing really good if these are our “out of control” problems. But then, that’s just me.
Quote:That is not an LDS tradition. I’ve seen that in other funerals. Not that I’ve been to many, but even old ones I’ve come across in my family research. That is a common thing. And I don’t think it is wrong.
The Italian gravestones around here frequently have (a) picture(s) of the people buried below them.
Quote:It is pretty much expected here that following any baptism, baby blessing or mission farewell, a huge banquet be put on for friends and family.
This actually is against explicit directives in the Handbook of Instructions. Another example of the water not getting to the end of the row.
just me wrote:Seems to me that we’re doing really good if these are our “out of control” problems. But then, that’s just me.
Ha! Good point. However… I do think that the church has “real” problems, and these are not it! Funny the perception of this author on what he views as being our biggest problems.
Old-Timer wrote:Quote:It is pretty much expected here that following any baptism, baby blessing or mission farewell, a huge banquet be put on for friends and family.
This actually is against explicit directives in the Handbook of Instructions. Another example of the water not getting to the end of the row.
Really?… If the family wants to celebrate an event in their homes, and it does not interfere with the ordinance, or meetings… this is against the rules? I have never been a fan of putting on these events for my huge family, but does the church have the right to tell me I can’t have family over to my home for a lunch party after a baptism? Or… is this rule just meant to address families who skip the rest of church to host a party on a Sunday. (this happens a lot here!)
flowerdrops wrote:just me wrote:Seems to me that we’re doing really good if these are our “out of control” problems. But then, that’s just me.
Ha! Good point. However… I do think that the church has “real” problems, and these are not it! Funny the perception of this author on what he views as being our biggest problems.
I totally agree! That’s kinda what I was getting at, but I didn’t word it well. If those were our worst issues we’d be stellar! To me the real problems are things like debt, bankruptcy, depression, addiction, abuse and things of that nature.
To clarify: The handbook says that such events are discouraged, presumably since it leads to competitiveness and extravagance. They aren’t prohibited, if they are done privately by the family, but they are discouraged.
Should have made that clearer. Sorry.
I would assume back when Sacrament meeting was the last meeting for Sunday that such get togethers weren’t so bad. No one skipped the rest of church to break their fast early in the day to entertain distant family members. With my last two kids I skipped church. I feel like it’s the wrong thing to do. My falling for this normal tradition has finally pissed me off. Now that my next one is due this Saturday, when the blessing comes in a couple of months, my extended family will be warned that lunch will wait till after the block and it will be self serve hogie sandwiches and cookies. If family can’t stay through chuch and wait for lunch, then they will have to deal with it. Nuff said.
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