MormonMom — serious problems

[Anonymous]

http://forum.staylds.com/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=2289

Her post today is very troubling. She took almost a triple does of her prescription meds before meeting with the bishop, showed up loopy, is playing scenarios in her head that I doubt are based on the realities of the conversation with her bishop, and one of her final comments has me very concerned:

mormonmom wrote:

Now I struggle with temptation. There are other ways to leave husband with out going to a shelter that are not good!

Which I possibly interpret as suicide (one way to leave without going to a shelter…) She accused her husband of hitting her as a pedestrian with a car on purpose, in addition to aggressive physical threats.

Thoughts?

she needs help… Once again, we are not therapists or social workers.

[Anonymous]

Agreed. 100%. But I would have no idea how to go about it.

Do we use her personal information and notify local authorities? Look up her bishop??

???

[Anonymous]

I think we should move/park the thread post with an explanation to her that these are not “StayLDS” support topics, they are serious life issues requiring professional help beyond website postings.

I see no benefit to the group to know or post about that situation.

[Anonymous]

Parked it. You are right. This is not a faith crisis situation, and she isn’t really talking about how to stay in the Church. It is serious abuse and life problems.

I will send her a Private Message. I would send an email, but would not want it in her email inbox where it could be seen by others, in case this triggers her husband.

I am going to strongly recommend that she tell the Bishop about the physical abuse, to get help, and confront her (in a nice way) about the potential veiled reference to suicide.

-Brian

[Anonymous]

Thanks, Brian – and everyone else. I am catching up only now, and I support exactly what has been suggested and what Brian in doing in this case.

[Anonymous]

MormonMom seems OK. Let’s just keep the topic retired in the parking lot. It wasn’t headed in a direction to produce appropriate content for our site goals. Here’s the conversation just so everyone is aware:

*********************************

Brian to MormonMom:

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Hi Mormonmom,

I wanted to let you know that the moderators decided to pull this topic, and move it to a non-public area of the forums we use to hold content that is problematic.

The reason is that it isn’t talking about a topic that fits within the “crisis of faith” theme or struggling with integration or belief in the Church. It doesn’t seem like you are having faith or religious problems. Instead, it sounds like you have very serious life problems. In particular, this comment came across as possibly a reference to suicide in order to escape your abusive marriage:

“Now I struggle with temptation. There are other ways to leave husband with out going to a shelter that are not good!”

Please know that we care, and do not think anything less of you for your situation. We take these types of comments very serious, and always talk to people about them directly when they are posted to our forums. Unfortunately, we are not the authorities and are just volunteers on the internet trying to help people with faith. We have no training in therapy, social work or other forms of counseling.

The abuse you talked about is very serious. You talked about your husband intentionally hitting you with a car, and being very aggressive physically. That is not acceptable behavior. You need to get away from that. And if you have children involved, it is even more important that you get help. Do not hide this. Secrecy is what feeds it. You are not supposed to be treated that way, and do not deserve it.

It is up to you if you want to tell the Bishop, but you really need to tell someone and get help. The Bishop might be able to help you. If not, you need to tell responsible family or friends, and possibly the authorities. Get help.

You mentioned taking a triple dose of prescription medicine in order to meet with the Bishop, and it sounds like you showed up a little loopy. Again, I have no negative judgment or condemnation of this. I have been there at points in my own life having done drugs and self-medicated. Do not use this as a crutch to delay getting help. You can take control of your situation and get the problems solved, even if it means you leave.

*********************************

Brian to MormonMom:

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Hi Brian,

Thanks for sending me an email to let me know why you decided to remove the message. I can understand why the decision was made. I’m sorry I didn’t think before posting about if it was ok to post.

Also, I was not referring to suicide but I can see how it would look that way. I was just thinking in my head that it would be so much easier to just find a new man and move out. Even that won’t happen though and I have never even talked to another man on the phone or anything before.

You are right when you said..

you really need to tell someone and get help. The Bishop might be able to help you. If not, you need to tell responsible family or friends, and possibly the authorities. Get help.

Yes, will try to get help and need to get out. Thank you again.

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