- This topic is empty.
-
Posts
-
Another article on happiness among Mormons. Starts out indicating that Mormons are happier (religious people in general are happier than non-believers)./ But then makes a jab, indicating the pharmacy may be the reason (Utah has a lot of anti-depressant use). Indicates many stay-at-home Moms resent not having a career. http://nypost.com/2016/11/03/are-mormons-the-happiest-people-in-america/ Have to confess, I detest that term “House Wife”. I wish there was something better.
Do you think being Mormon makes the average Mormon happier than NOT being a Mormon? Not true in my case. I got happier when I put my church life in its place, and then starting pursuing my passions.
I think it depends on the person. Some people are very happy with the responsibilities the church assigns them and feel very fulfilled by what they feel the church expects of them. I personally, though, have been wondering if I am cut out to be a stay at home mom. I find that my child stresses me out quite a bit and sometimes wonder if having a small job would be a nice break. But I also know that working is stressful too so I haven’t taken that leap in attempting a small career on the side. I do need something else though, because just being a stay at home mom is not enough for me, that’s for sure. I am trying to find times to myself and times to do my own hobbies that I’ve lost since becoming a mom. Hopefully, I’ll eventually figure out a good system. As for us being happier compared to other religions, I have no idea. I think it’s hard to tell since I’ve noticed part of our religion is being happy. People kind of expect you to be happy and get uncomfortable if you’re unhappy for an extended amount of time. Or they at least want you to be optimistic in your sadness. I think people usually expect the outlook of ‘this time is hard, but I’m so thankful because I’m growing so much!’ So if someone is genuinely unhappy, people at church have a hard time understanding them. That may be most people though, I think most people in society don’t seem to really know how to let people be sad. It just seems like in the church people think you’ll be happy because you have the gospel
Living in the northeast US where Mormons are a tiny, tiny minority (way less than 1%) I see happy (and sad) people everywhere. I know happy Mormons and unhappy Mormons, and I know happy and unhappy people of many other faiths and not of any faith at all. Frankly, living in Happy Valley (AKA Provo) would probably make me less happy than living elsewhere. I won’t argue with research that says religious people are generally happier than others, but I have also experienced the stress Catamount refers to. And I don’t like the term housewife either. Maybe we should make one of those reality shows – “The Real Housewives of Happy Valley” – and bust some of those myths.
The neighborhood I lived in Buffalo for a few years was the happiest place I’ve lived yet. Now in the West, at work I’m surrounded by non-Mormons also and by and large they seem happy with life, but they mostly have above average incomes. Mormons decidedly do not have a corner on happiness. My hypothesis is that religion helps those without means. On my mission in one of the poorest countries in Latin America (which is saying something) members of the LDS church along with practicing Catholics and Evangelicals seemed happier than others. I know of many Mormons who are happy (self-righteous) but who are carriers of unhappiness, spreading that to others. First, I would love to know exactly how the researcher measured happiness. If it is just through self-reporting of the subjects, that would be drastically flawed for TBM’s. My observations about TBM’s (having been one for 40+ years) is that they feel a HUGE missionary obligation to “let the light of Christ shine” through them, which translates to them showing everyone how happy they are, whether or not that is actually true. I can’t count the number of times I have felt down and depressed, but felt like it was my moral obligation to show all of the non-members around me how happy the gospel makes me. It was exhausting and I am done doing that. I no longer put on a happy face when I am down. If someone at church asks me how I am doing, I actually answer them with the truth, slightly edited, but nevertheless the truth. Some of my answers include, “I am struggling, but I am here.” I am done putting on a front to make other people feel more comfortable. I have been surprised at how freeing this is and how it makes going to church just a little bit easier now that I have given myself permission to be honest. Also, the “Men are that they might have joy” scripture puts a lot of pressure on TBM’s to show how happy they are. The scripture has always been an enigma to me, which is a problem because I have to give a lesson in RS based on it in just a couple weeks. Anyone have ideas on how to give lessons when you are no longer a TBM? I worry that I am going to blurt out something shocking and out myself.
😳 Lastly, I would say that many of the Mormon women I know, even TBM women, find all of the pressure the church puts on them (callings, absent husbands, endless meetings, huge visiting teaching lists, feeding the missionaries, missionary work, service, temple attendance, etc.) to be exhausting and depressing, and results in feeling like they are never enough. I am just now getting to the point where I realize that NO ONE, no matter how true believing they are, could ever,
everdo ALL that the church asks of them. When I tell my non-member friends some of the things I am doing for the church, they think I am crazy!!! The sacrifices of time and energy are HUGE and often feel much more draining than rewarding. Jerseygirl wrote:Also, the “Men are that they might have joy” scripture puts a lot of pressure on TBM’s to show how happy they are. The scripture has always been an enigma to me, which is a problem because I have to give a lesson in RS based on it in just a couple weeks. Anyone have ideas on how to give lessons when you are no longer a TBM? I worry that I am going to blurt out something shocking and out myself.
I teach temple prep in my student ward, and I focus on the parts that are actually part of the gospel and leave out the sections about church culture or prosperity teachings. For example, when discussing the law of consecration, we didn’t talk about giving everything to the church or always accepting callings, but rather consecrating what we have to helping those around us, the church just being one vehicle we can use to do so.
The way I view the “men are that they might have joy” scripture is that the gospel is supposed to help us live a more fulfilling life. In a way, it’s saying the same thing as when Christ taught us how to differentiate helpful from unhelpful teachings: “by their fruits ye shall know them”. Or when Moroni says that all good things come from god. That we are to seek after health and fulfillment, and that we can compare other people’s teachings or our own actions against that standard to see where they stand.
The prescription medicine issue is a non-starter. Mormons generally don’t self-medicate with alcohol and/or tobacco, and post-partum depression is higher with more pregnancies. As I have said in others threads, I am glad prescription drugs for depression and similar conditions are acceptable in Utah, even with the issues of misuse and abuse that always are a side effect. Having said all of that, happy people are happy, religion or not – and most people are relatively happy when things are going well. However, a belief in trials and suffering having redemptive value increases feeling of acceptance and even happiness in difficult times. I think that is the primary reason religious people rate higher in most happiness measures.
I’ve seen studies saying that Utah is the most depressed state, as well as that women in the church are the more depressed. I’ve also seen studies showing that the religious are happiest in primarily religious societies, and that secularist are happier in secular societies. There are also studies showing that the religious are more likely to be overweight. But all in all, the Chuch definitely teaches that those who are Mormon are happiest.Personally, I think it is up to the individual, and depends greatly on what life philosophies (including Church doctrines) we choose to live by.
Old Timer wrote:Having said all of that, happy people are happy, religion or not – and most people are relatively happy when things are going well. However, a belief in trials and suffering having redemptive value increases feelings of acceptance and even happiness in difficult times. I think that is the primary reason religious people rate higher in most happiness measures.
dande48 wrote:I’ve seen studies saying that Utah is the most depressed state, as well as that women in the church are the more depressed. I’ve also seen studies showing that the religious are happiest in primarily religious societies, and that secularist are happier in secular societies. There are also studies showing that the religious are more likely to be overweight.
But all in all, the Chuch definitely teaches that those who are Mormon are happiest.Personally, I think it is up to the individual, and depends greatly on what life philosophies (including Church doctrines) we choose to live by.
I once took a college class on fulfillment. Essentially it taught that fulfillment is most often achieved when one has a sense of competency and is working towards completing goals. It is especially fulfilling if the small goals build toward a grander umbrella goal or life goal. At the time I thought that the LDS church was perfect for this. It gives us lots and lots of goals and teaches us that all of them tie back into becoming exalted and perfected heavenly beings to create and populate worlds without end. I believe that this recipe works really well for some people.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.