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LookingHard wrote:
So do you feel no longer crazy or do you now see clothes on the emperor?
Ha! I’m actually not sure which, now that I think about it.
Just going by the titles I picked #4 individualative and reflective. I believe that I have done much of this to build an individualfaith that is thoughtful and reflectiveof the people and faith system that I emerged from. I have rebuilt my assumptive world one brick and one plank at a time. for a time I was deeply disappointed to discover that the directions in which I was building were not consistent with prominent Mormon thought. I had to decide that it was ok, to build by my own internal compass. I own my faith and my belief but I am also fully aware that beliefs that work for me internally may not be effective outside of my own head. In reading the description for this stage, It does not seem to well describe me at this point.
I wonder if I might feel more comfortable in stage #5. I value the stories that other people tell themselves to add meaning to their lives. I do not discard Mormonism or religion generally. In this sense, I feel that I am multicultural and multi lingual. I can communicate with and understand the positions of many different groups. because of this I am also never completely at home in any one group. I identify with the larger and more diverse humanity in general.
I don’t think I’m totally in one stage or another at any given time. I’m never 3 any more, but I am sometimes more 4 and sometimes more 5. Usually I think I’m somewhere between those two. I chose 5 because I’m probably more a 5 right now and I like to think I’m a 5. A large part of where I am today has come from the insights I have gained by associating with others here. Yeah — I developed to where I am by posting here. I have to say that I think there is something missing from Fowler’s thick stages. I do think Stage 5 is where you have peace in the church even though you are no longer a literal believer. Even though you outright disagree with a lot of the stuff that goes on in the church and is forefront in the culture. The peace factor is important. Anyone care to articulate their understanding of the difference between Stage 5 and Stage 6?
I also have worked through much of my stage 4 anger on this very forum. I appreciate the ear. I think in the end that will help me not be an angry ex-mo and allow me to see others without that anger. I see stage 5 about deeper meaning, not just less anger. When you have a vision…it inspires and motivates to action.
Stage 5 is just a new vision with symbolic and conceptual meanings that allow one to re-engage with others and appreciate the different viewpoints. It is not toleration.
But to get past the anger, one has to see what you’re moving towards that is better than going back or giving up.
I see stage 6 as taking that stage 5 appreciation, and creating something new. Joseph did that as a restorationist. Few have the gift to package it and explain it to others so that others can see the new vision.
I like Fowler’s model of spiritual development–however, it is just that, a model. It is an approximation an simplification of reality, which is definitely more complex. I think I’m in Stage 4. I strive for 5, but I’m still working on the tasks of Stage 4. As I understand it, the tasks are:
1-Movement of moral authority from outside oneself (e.g. the Brethren) to inside, in other words the development of an individual moral compass.
2-Individualization of spiritual journey. We lose belief in churches as the only way to spirituality, and begin to build our own path, which may or may not involve aspects of our former faith.
3-Demythologization. Literal belief goes out the window as we begin to “break” the symbols in our faith. This is a painful task, as it involves the loss of the “magic” of belief. But you can’t really go backwards once you’ve broken your symbols. You must either reject them, or allow them to bloom again in Stage 5. All of this is very alarming to our loved ones who are happy living in Stage 3. They just don’t understand because in a way, they can’t understand. So they see our growth as heresy and apostasy.
The loss of one’s former faith and community begins a grieving process, which can involve denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. I am still angry. I think my anger is healthy, though, because it is driving me to draw appropriate boundaries for myself, which I previously didn’t have with the Church or with others. It may take a long time to disentangle myself the influence of the Brethren. My symbols are completely broken, and I have definitely demythologized all of it. I used to be in a hurry to grow into the next phase, but that has changed. I’m willing to give myself space for the grieving process. Fowler said it could take up to seven years to complete Stage 4, and I am only about four years in. But I catch glimpses of the beauty of Stage 5, and I may soon begin to lay the foundation for it, and for the “second innocence” it entails.
Well said, T. turinturambar wrote:I think my anger is healthy, though, because it is driving me to draw appropriate boundaries for myself, which I previously didn’t have with the Church or with others.
I like how you put this part too…and I agree…it can be healthy. And necessary for change.
Stage 5 can include anger, because the stages aren’t about grief or anger. Those are part of each stage.
Heber13 wrote:Well said, T.
turinturambar wrote:I think my anger is healthy, though, because it is driving me to draw appropriate boundaries for myself, which I previously didn’t have with the Church or with others.
I like how you put this part too…and I agree…it can be healthy. And necessary for change.
Stage 5 can include anger, because the stages aren’t about grief or anger. Those are part of each stage.
Well put Turinturambar. What you do with the anger can have important ramifications. I am glad for this site (and others) constantly saying, “slow down, think about it, work through some stuff.” It is some of the best advice.
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