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Gerald wrote:
mom3
My son also just graduated from high school. He’s not autistic but has ADD and poor social skills. He has struggled academically and socially his whole life. Even as recently as three weeks ago, there was some question as to whether he would graduate. I just kept saying to myself “just a little more…just a little more.” Like your son, his challenges aren’t over but it is one major hurdle to get over.
Parents of children without disabilities generally don’t understand what parents of such children have to go through. I came across the following link a while ago and it has given me great comfort.
http://www.our-kids.org/Archives/Holland.html Good luck with your son!
Thanks for the nice link. My kids are turning out quite well and I don’t like it when people put that all on me and my wife. I don’t feel I deserve that much credit. But expressing that just comes off as trying to be modest. I know some of my friends have bigger challenges with some of their kids.Quote:Thanks for the nice link. My kids are turning out quite well and I don’t like it when people put that all on me and my wife. I don’t feel I deserve that much credit. But expressing that just comes off as trying to be modest. I know some of my friends have bigger challenges with some of their kids.
I have two kids with disabilities and three kids that are turning out fine. If there is anything that my children have taught me it’s that my influence over their personality and abilities is very limited (beyond the genetic, of course). Once they are here, the pattern is set and I can make small changes to the pattern but not rework it. It has taken me awhile but I am now at a point where I can look at the two children who have caused my wife and I such grief and concern as gifts that have changed our lives in very positive ways. Ultimately, they are who they are and, like every other significant person in our lives, we must learn to love them for that.
Quote:Gerald wrote: there is anything that my children have taught me it’s that my influence over their personality and abilities is very limited (beyond the genetic, of course). Once they are here, the pattern is set and I can make small changes to the pattern but not rework it
You are a faster learner than me .. That lesson took me longer to internalize.
I was listening to another parent talk about that. He told a story of a man who spent 30 years trying to make his son into the person the father wanted him to be. When the son was 30-something the father realized that his son was never going to be anything other than himself. .
It made me really look at my own relationships with my children and assess whether I was supporting their choices — or whether I was trying to make them into who I thought they should be.
Yeah .. I am totally an amateur parent.
It was a realization that took a lot of time. I am an amateur parent, too.
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