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It can all be so ironic – can’t it!? bridget_night wrote:…unless I believe in the evangelical ‘Trinity’ of Jesus being God and the 3 in one theory, I was going to hell.
Now that sounds like a loving God, doesn’t it?
Rix wrote:I think a more helpful approach is to not get defensive about doctrinal issues, and deal with the family diversity. Can she/they really love and respect you (and vice versa) if you believe different things?
I find stage three-ers to be stuck in dogma. Most religious zealots are there. In my mind, and particularly after you gave us a bit of her history, I don’t think you will ever win a doctrinal argument with her…and it will just serve as an issue to divide you. Work on the commonalities you have, love her as an EV, and revel in her happiness she has found there.
Excellent advise. I read something once by Marjorie Hinckley that really struck me as inspired. I can’t even remember the context in which she said it, but it was said with respect to conflicts between parents and children. She said, “Above all, save the relationship” (or something very close to that). Your daughter obviously is not at a point in her life right now where she has any desire whatsoever to hear you try to convince her that the teachings of the Nicene Creed are nothing more than “the philosophies of men, mingled with scripture.” I hope there will come a time when she is more receptive, but for now, there is nothing more important than your relationship with her.
(On the other hand, if you are determined to discuss this doctrine with her, you might ask her if she thinks the Christians prior to 325 A.D. are going to Hell along with you?
Hi Katzar, Thank you for reminding me what is most important (relationship)! I also liked your last question about if she thought everyone before the Nicene creed was going to hell. I bore my testimony in fast and T. meeting yesterday about the incident. I said that I sometimes struggle with my testimony but life circumstances, like this with my daughter, helps me clarify what I do believe. I also mentioned how my daughter has negative associations with the Mormon church because kids were so mean to her when she was in Mutual. I asked the youth in the ward to reach out to those in the Mutual who are different or difficult as Christ would have us do. Perhaps it would have made a difference to my daughter if kids had been nicer to her. One incident I vividly remember is two of the deacon boys yanking my daughters purse from her in the church hallway and hitting her with it and calling her a ‘ho.’ She ran out of the church crying and ask me to take her home. Interestingly, enough, the YM’s president came outside about this time seeing my daughter cry and asked what was the matter. I told him what had happened and he asked me who the boys were. He said, “I will take care of this. These two boys (from prominent families in the ward) are trouble makers. I remember when they were being set apart for the priesthood, and one of the boys was giving the other the finger while being set apart. I immeadiately stopped the setting apart and chasened those boys.” So, at least I felt God’s hand was in this.
Sometimes, I do find myself feelilng anger towards my daughter and others in the family and I am having to learn to just let some things go or my resentment would show. Forgiveness is such a big part of this life.
When I was in my 20’s and very literal minded, I used to enjoy arguing religious dogma. I even wrote my own scriptural cross-reference guide when I was a missionary and had an elaborately marked up Jehovah’s Witness bible. I am not naturally someone who dwells in regret (probably shameless to a fault), but this period is one I sincerely regret at times. Nothing good comes from prideful debate about dogma. Nothing good comes from trying to change people’s hearts and minds with fear (fear of hell, fear of failure, fear of separation from family in the Celestial Kingdom, fear of being wrong or foolish). Others have already pointed out the better path, to see the concern and love from people who try and “save” us. They are just expressing it in an awkward way. It’s the thought that counts right? I hope it does.
My response would be to give them a big hug and thank them for caring so much about me. I don’t believe what they are saying, but I am always open to God revealing His will to me. I seek that every day. All kinds of things might or might not be right in the future or the afterlife. I know for sure what I can do today to make the world around me a little better and more like heaven.
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