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I really appreciate that so many of you on here are going through similar things. It’s nice to have people understand. I know that using the word “lies” is pretty caustic and I’m sorry to be so negative, but that is where I am right now. I know that JS may have believed in his own story and therefore did not lie. But I no longer believe in the veracity of the restoration, any of it (disclaimer: I reserve the right to change my mind at any time 🙂 ).I would walk away if I could, but I can’t, so some of my emotions spewed out. Fortunately, they are not all bad. Today while just shopping at the store and later while driving, I was overcome with feelings of joy, peace, and a sense of freedom and relief. Everything around me seemed a little brighter. I know I have a challenge ahead of me to find a middle ground within the construct of a church I believe to be man-made. It’s going to be an interesting journey.
So sorry HSAB, I flux between hope and despair for the church. I find that I go to Gospel Principles class and actually remember why I joined the church. It is beautiful. Then I see the culture and have to fight to retain my hope. This merry-go-round is exhausting. So sorry so many of us are on it. Good luck with whatever you decide! Your voice and knowledge will be of value and worth wherever you are. Right there with you hsab. I went pet writer here once I figured out I don’t believe. I read stuff here but don’t post much as u don’t want to tear others down. I have concluded the church is based on nontruth.. I prefer that to lies…I prefer to think of people inadvertently getting off track rather than deliberately misleading. It is extra hard in that my wife is not on the same page so I can’t just start over…so still attending..still teaching eq..and wondering what’s next
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I never imagined there are so many that I can identify with. Johnh, Dax, Martha, HSAB and others, I have also felt the sense of relief knowing my true feelings are in the open if only on a message board. Although I may differ in that I do believe in the First Vision and restoration I also believe that so much of what we are told is man made and there are a majority who follow without questioning or validating in the name of obedience. This is really the only place to lay your thoughts out and sometimes find agreement and sometimes find (and accept) corrections. To be continued… Thanks everyone. This website has been so helpful for me over the past year and a half. I am finding more and more of my friends seem to be in the same predicament as I am. The other day I sat down and tallied all of my old room mates that I am still in contact with. Out of 32 people 17 are inactive or have left the church. It seems so crazy…but I never thought l would see the day when I stopped believing either. It makes me wonder how many people are secretly middle way mormons. I really wish everyone could be more open about it. Kipper wrote:I never imagined there are so many that I can identify with. Johnh, Dax, Martha, HSAB and others, I have also felt the sense of relief knowing my true feelings are in the open if only on a message board. Although I may differ in that I do believe in the First Vision and restoration I also believe that so much of what we are told is man made and there are a majority who follow without questioning or validating in the name of obedience. This is really the only place to lay your thoughts out and sometimes find agreement and sometimes find (and accept) corrections. To be continued…
Just to reassure you that there are several on here who believe in a first vision.
I think it was another of the experiences Joseph had that gets over-simplified by the limitations of an imperfect communication form.
HSAB wrote:Thanks everyone. This website has been so helpful for me over the past year and a half. I am finding more and more of my friends seem to be in the same predicament as I am. The other day I sat down and tallied all of my old room mates that I am still in contact with. Out of 32 people 17 are inactive or have left the church. It seems so crazy…but I never thought l would see the day when I stopped believing either. It makes me wonder how many people are secretly middle way mormons. I really wish everyone could be more open about it.
Unfortunately there is a vocal minority that dominate the rhetoric at church. I gave a talk recently (shared in spiritual stuff forum) and it was such a relief to be able to share ‘what I believe.’ That day I went home feeling able to stay and do so happily. It was interesting who came to me to say thanks for the talk. The sincerity from some of them made me wonder if they are the ‘middle wayers’ – we need a secret badge. Or… um… Handshake (ahem!)
A week later and it was back to the hard liners running the place again. The talk on ‘help though my unbelief’ was taught in priesthood and got completely butchered – totally missed the point.
Peaks and troughs for me.
mackay11 wrote:It was interesting who came to me to say thanks for the talk. The sincerity from some of them made me wonder if they are the ‘middle wayers’ . . .
I had the same type of experience some time ago. Since then I have come to understand everyone is on their own path. Some comments from people don’t line up with where I had mentally placed them on the “scale” of belief, but I enjoy experiencing that – and knowing that you can never stick someone in a box and expect them to always play that part.
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