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I’m one of those who is comfortable enough with the church, church history, and its doctrine to not be bothered by it too much; however, I am constantly looking at and analyzing my testimony about God. I constantly check it, cross check it and question if I really do believe in God, if I’m fooling myself, and then contrast that with what I have experienced. I watched on Youtube one day a clip about Oprah denying Christ and she flat out made the Christians trying to witness look like idiots. “How can you say Jesus is the only way?” she would ask and the Christians couldn’t get out a convincing explanation, at least to me.
So please read and give comment about what you think.So one day while I was in a mood I put myself in those Christians’ place and role-played in my mind how it could have played out with me there and with my experiences looking for God. I changed the question to, “How can you say that there is a God?”
“So how do you know there’s a God?” She would ask, and I would answer by saying that “I don’t.”
“You don’t know there’s a God and you still follow your beliefs? Why?”
“I have never seen God but I am pretty sure there is based on what I have experienced trying to find Him.”
She asks, “What experiences are those?”
I would say, “Oh, to start off with, the warm fuzzies that make me feel good. Then sometimes the really warm fuzzies. Ok, I guess to be a little more serious I could tell you about how when I am in prayer and I feel like I have made that connection and the vibrant warmth and light is all around me and my words and desires change, and then I have no problem honestly saying things that I wouldn’t have otherwise prayed for, and then being answered, comforted, taught and given a greater understanding of something. And after the prayer was over, the feeling or sensation staying with me for a while, my mood and desires still changed. No longer a black hole sucking in and asking, asking, for my own benefit, but my desires spreading out to include others that I don’t care about, wanting the best welfare for everyone and praying in my heart that all could feel the sort of “unnatural love” that I was feeling from God but also for everyone else too. That’s not all. But regretting that I couldn’t continue to pray because it felt soooooo good, but I really need to go to sleep because I have to get up early the next day.”
This would be a sampling.
“What else have you experienced?” She asks.
“There would be the desires to serve God. The change in my heart since I had the “Big Experience,” and the natural softening toward others that seems to continue till now. Praying about how to get along with someone at work or at least tolerate them and being impressed how. The desires that I had for some things, I don’t have anymore or am ashamed that I wanted them or was involved in them. I hate those things now and I hate other things that one could consider wrong or one could consider God seeing as wrong. My heart wants to please God.”
“Ok?” She says, “How do you know it’s not coming from you? How do you know that it’s from God? How do you know that it isn’t just your brain changing waves, or chemicals flooding in, like endorphins, that make you feel this way? What makes you think it’s from God, and that this information you say you receive isn’t just that the pathways to stuff you ALREADY knew just opened up because you were in a deep meditative state? How can you just place all of this on your faith in God?”
To that I answer, “Well, what if it was just a HUMAN EXPERIENCE, and not a spiritual experience? What if my body and brain did just make it up for me, because I wanted it so bad? What if? Would that be so bad? No. I still had a wonderful experience and I’m not ashamed of it. It only happens in such a dynamic way in the middle of prayer, and when not in prayer I continue to benefit from the residue for some time after. I learned a lot in it on how to treat and feel toward other people and my compassion level has gone up. It has given me greater desires to read the scriptures and put aside the shame I feel when I pray to my invisible God. So you tell me if there is anything wrong in it.”
“There’s nothing wrong in it, it’s just that it doesn’t prove anything,” was her reply.
“Ok,” I said, “now, in the context of it being a human experience and not from God, imagine how great this world would be if everyone were to do this. If everyone would tap into their inner soul look how much good could come out. I am not the only one this happens to. There are others, thousands and millions of others who have done the same thing and say that they have found God. Their experience mirrors mine to many degrees, and all the details I have listed are common to all who successfully tap in. However, as you know, we live in a world that is turning itself upside down. Wars, people killing each other. The divorce rate keeps climbing, and the poverty rate continues to go up too. I know you are doing what you can to make the Earth a better place but others aren’t. Why aren’t they if all they have to do is tap into the inner good soul?
I continue, “I believe that I know. I have experienced shame and embarrassment in praying to my invisible God. I feel like I’m fooling myself, being deceitful. I feel like I am wasting my time. It’s totally unnatural, but it’s the only way that I have found to tap into that goodness that is beyond what I normally am. I know too many people who have no interest in God. It doesn’t serve their needs or wants, so they aren’t going to take the gamble and pray to their invisible God. It’s too bad.
“My question to you is, if it is just a human experience then why is the world so reluctant and so afraid to do what the religeous and pious do? Why are we shunned and made to look like we are crazy? If it’s a human thing and naturally in us all, why the disdain?”
“To me it doesn’t make sense. The key to peace on Earth, Utopia, and we are all too shamed to take the step. SUBMISSION TO AN IMAGINARY GOD. Remember, this is still a human experience so we would have to pretend there is a God.”
Oprah says, “Interesting point.”
I continue. “In my religious belief system we believe that we are being pressured from two sides. One wants us to do good and hate the bad, and the other wants us to do bad and hate the good. I would say we are being pushed and pulled all of the time by these forces.
“To me, seeing how the world continues to dump in on itself is proof that it chooses the bad. According to my system of belief this would be giving into the force of Satan, the Devil. So this proves to me there is a Devil. On the opposite it would prove to me that there is a force for good and that would be God. Not so invisible anymore, or imaginary. But this Devil shames us not to pray to God. This is one reason that I believe in a God, one reason why I pray, and stay on this course even though I cannot say for absolute certain there is a God. But I am pretty darned sure there is and I am not going to change a thing now.”
Oprah says, “Wow, that’s all the time we have now folks see you tomorrow.” And the show is over.
borninit thank you! That was a great testimony and one of the best descriptions of an answer to prayer that I have ever heard or read. Thank you.
I like it. You and she aren’t so far apart after all. The only problem is disrespect and distrust, isn’t it? Thanks for that. I believe faith is a gift for some, but I also believe it can be a conscious choice for others. Everyone might not answer exactly like you have, but the general outline is one I really like.
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