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I am a recovering church addict, I hope. Up until two months ago I had never missed a week of church intentionally. Last fall I started to see I have an addiction to a coping behavior that includes performance, superiority, judgmentalism, and criticism. Related to that, I knew I needed to break the 100% church habit. It took me until January to finally do it. For six Sundays until last week I went nowhere for church. I stayed home or went to the wilderness with my journal.
We will see whether it ends up helpful. I hope in the future I can live by the advice we have all amassed in Heber13’s “
Do I Have To Go To Church?Anyway, maybe someone can relate to that and rejoice with me.
I can relate to never missing intentionally. I never have. Ever. I’ve even been know to show up the Sunday after giving birth (only the first time). I would enjoy visiting other faith communities once in awhile. Or going on family day trips to the mountains.
Anyway, I rejoice with you!
One of my grandmother’s favorite sayings, “I have not seen you a month of Sundays!” To her (good Baptist that she was) that was way to long. I dare say that certain bishops probably entertain said belief, especially if they have numerous callings “waiting in the wings.” I congratulate you on a job well done. Missing something is part of the human experience, it teaches us lots of lessons. I have missed my last three sacrament meetings (though I slip into second hour for my FH calling). It has to do with the 9AM block and being lazy in nature…. Keep on keeping on Tom. I have found solace in my Native place, and the wilderness is pretty neat. I’ve found a new song, “Eveything is Holy Now.” I love the message it delivers regarding humans beings, animals, hills, streams, forests… you get the idea. And dropping into church occasionally, sweet. I also hit the path at the local peace garden next to the Buddhist temple, there are good vibes there also.
I’m also a church addict, which is probably why I so loved your post on the other thread. I really appreciated your advice and am going to take it. I might even take the whole summer off, if DH and I move out of town for an internship he just received. Anyway, I’m rejoicing with you!
I know this is unnecessary for most here, but it probably should be said anyway: Breaks from work and vacations are fine and necessary for many, but we still need to go to work on a regular basis if we are to contribute meaningfully to the company where we work – and if we are to get paid for working. That applies to church and our spiritual lives, as well.
I’m very glad you have found the ability to take breaks and vacations, but don’t let that pull you away from the actual work you can do in the church. I think for many of us the danger is that the idea of work we must do takes over the idea of work we can do. That’s why we say we are addicted. Sabbaticals and limits help reveal this problem. This is related to a proverb I discovered soon after my second conversion. After I discovered “It doesn’t take money”, I discovered “It doesn’t take time”. We
needlots of time to do “nothing”. Jesus prepared for 30 years and ministered for only 3 years. Healing takes time. Growth takes time. Doing takes time. Becoming takes time. But working miracles takes only one thing. And we all know what that is, I hope. Great thought, Tom! I think, as has been said elsewhere, that taking the church on “your own terms” rather than on the oftentimes self-imposed expectations of the “church’s terms”, is a great lesson. I totally get what Ray was saying about our contributions. But, I think the mindset of “the church works for me, I don’t work for the church” could be a healthy perspective, with the correct intentions.
I can’t believe you had this as a subject. My DH explained to me the other day that the reason he doesn’t want to go to church is because he is on sabbatical. Only he is making up for 20+ years of life, which means he is on a three year sabbatical. So I asked him what he plans to do when his sabbatical is over and he said he would go back to full fellowship!? Ok that makes sense. 😯 I think he struggles with “belief”. He makes it seem like he always has.. But he is so darn black and white that it has to be all or nothing. He is like that with absolutely everything in his life! I’m really starting to believe that he got this mentality from being a member of the church possibly. Maybe I’m wrong but it is starting to seem that way. Anyway I think since he sees that he has a wife who hardly holds unto any orthadox mormon veiw, since he doesn’t pay tithing etc, that he should go cold turkey with church. We haven’t gone since December .. and that was only one Sunday … looking back we haven’t been active since early of 2007!
This sabbatical trip confuses me! I wish I could relate but I myself could always care less about the “rules” of attendence or people judging me, so i’ve always gone to church on my own terms.
Well, LaLaLove. I sure identify with your husband. I think sometimes those of us who need sabbaticals would like to be well-adjusted like you when we grow up. We tend to be very energetic and enthusiastic. I think growing up, maturing, letting go of the old false strokes, and finding the true worth inside, healed of childhood insecurities, is part of what we are aiming for. Hey .. I’m not that grown up. If I still lived in the same town as the MIL and FIL I’d probably be going to church often, much more than I would probably like to. Not so much out of fear or judgement but more so to keep things from being too “emotional” and “personal”. I live way in Colorado and the In-laws live in Arizona. I just wouldn’t have the heart to tell them the truth:full attendence to the three hour block every Sunday of the month makes me have serious panic attacks followed by a days worth of some anger and of me telling myself “there is good, there is good”!..soooo, I only sound brave because I have no “close” connections. 
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