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I have had an on again off again relationship with the church as far back as I can remember. The one thing about me is that doesn’t include my relationship with Christ. I am very firm in the fact that I am a Christian. It’s harder for me to say that I am as firm in being LDS. I go now mostly for my DW who is wholly TBM and my kids. I have found greater experiences for me at non denominational services than I have in any ward I have attended.
Just recently I decided to go to both so in the morning I go to a Christian church in my area, then to the ward for those meetings. Actually Sunday I had an interesting experience I would like to share to get thoughts on:So for my interesting experience. When I started the day I prayed and asked for direction to know where I need to be to help me grow and be where I need to be. The service brought me up I was energized ready to tackle the day so to speak. Then this is where is got wierd I went to sacrament meeting and my family’s pew and only our pew was skipped on getting water and no one asked if someone didn’t get it. Then my fear with the new quorum organization came true when 2 old people were put in charge. I wonder if this wasn’t an answer to my prayer not sure but it has definitely put me in crisis about where to go from here.
I hesitate to attach too much importance to the missing of your row in sacrament, or the fact that two old people are leading the quorum. Mistakes happen, and often, who they pick to lead each organization is a matter of willing, capable, available bodies. It is often clothed as inspiration, but it’s often just who is willing and available. I would go to both And get a bigger sample size. let the patterns emerge, if they aren’t there already. Keep praying until something happens that makes you feel right about a certain direction. The good thing about church stuff is that you don’t have to decide all at once! You can take your time if you want to! So, do so!
I like the litmus test of any decision — will this experience bring me joy? Define joy unselfishly….and according to your personal needs.
Those juxtapositions can be tough. In the past I used to visit some other religion/church once per month. Just as an attempt at being more balanced, always with this idea that the LDS church was my home church. I’ve had the contrast between the two experiences go both ways, sometimes I felt more positive about my LDS experience, sometimes my experience with others.
Cadahangel wrote:
Then my fear with the new quorum organization came true when 2 old people were put in charge.
😆 Each ward is unique. In mine it’s the young kids I don’t want to see in charge . The old guys are more laid back whereas the younger guys are more prone to police doctrines and shut down conversations by citing authority figures. I think they’re still in impress others mode. Guess how many people that were in the HPG are in our new EQ presidency: Zero. I get the feeling leadership likes putting the hardliners in other leadership positions, be they young or old.
The good news is that you don’t have to write what you do in stone. Take it slow, explore what you like, absorb the positives wherever they can be found.
Welcome to StayLDS.
Welcome!
Cadahangel wrote:
I have had an on again off again relationship with the church as far back as I can remember.
You should fit right in here then:)
Cadahangel wrote:
The one thing about me is that doesn’t include my relationship with Christ. I am very firm in the fact that I am a Christian. It’s harder for me to say that I am as firm in being LDS. I go now mostly for my DW who is wholly TBM and my kids. I have found greater experiences for me at non denominational services than I have in any ward I have attended.
I have had some meaningful experiences with Christian music in the last 10-15 years, so I can relate in a small way. Several of Britt Nicole’s and MercyMe’s songs resonate with me.
Cadahangel wrote:
So for my interesting experience. When I started the day I prayed and asked for direction to know where I need to be to help me grow and be where I need to be. The service brought me up I was energized ready to tackle the day so to speak. Then this is where is got weird, I went to sacrament meeting and my family’s pew and only our pew was skipped on getting water and no one asked if someone didn’t get it. Then my fear with the new quorum organization came true when 2 old people were put in charge. I wonder if this wasn’t an answer to my prayer not sure but it has definitely put me in crisis about where to go from here.
A few months ago I was driving to church and half-praying/half-requesting divine intervention because I was having a bad day. I got pulled over by the police – but only got a minor no points ticket. I am not sure whether the lesson was “Slow Down
“, “You really shouldn’t be at church”, or some other lesson that hasn’t occurred to me yet…Welcome Cadahangel! Happy you could join us. Cadahangel wrote:
I wonder if this wasn’t an answer to my prayer not sure but it has definitely put me in crisis about where to go from here.
In the end, this is something you’ll have to decide for yourself. But personally, I don’t think it was an answer to your prayer. In my experience, God doesn’t work like that. Looking for a sign can often lead to… confirming whatever belief or idea we had at the time (see:
confirmation biasWhat to do next?
MORE RESEARCH!!!Figure out for yourself if, when, and to what extent the Church 1. Is useful
2. Leads to Eudaimonia
The rest is just the details. Best of luck on your journey.
Thanks for all the replies. The reason the event had such a profound effect on me was that I wasn’t looking at confirming anything. I was strictly asking direction on what would be good for me. Welcome to the site! I hope that you find peace along the journey. Cadahangel wrote:
… I wasn’t looking at confirming anything. I was strictly asking direction on what would be good for me.
Could you expound on this a little? I think you are saying that the experiences you had were not going to define the next steps you would take, but still looking for a sign on which way to go?
What I mean is my prayer was to find out what I should do from here. I had a great experience at the worship service felt energized and happy. Then I went to my ward and had a not great Sunday which included the experiences above. Some will say this is coincidence, but a part of me wonders if God was answering me. Unfortunately most I talk to around here (I’m in Utah) will say it isn’t only because that would confirm I shouldn’t go to the LDS church. Which in their eyes god would never say that. Hence my crisis! You will find good and bad days everywhere. Seriously, from the inside, hidden warts come to light eventually in every organization. Work on finding a way to stay before deciding to leave and face major complications and headaches in every area of your life.
Cadahangel wrote:
Some will say this is coincidence, but a part of me wonders if God was answering me. Unfortunately most I talk to around here (I’m in Utah) will say it isn’t only because that would confirm I shouldn’t go to the LDS church. Which in their eyes god would never say that. Hence my crisis!
If it was a positive experience (which many members say it is, most of the time), would that change what path you should take? What is the likelyhood that the events that transpired were coincidence, and hence would’ve happened anyways, versus redirected by God in order to give you an answer to your prayer?
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Storytime:
There is a con, where a person receives an email stating, “We have created a new, accurate stock algorithm with predicts the market with 99.9% accuracy. We understand this is an astounding claim, but as a show of goodwill, we will send you five stock predictions for free. As you see the accuracy of our algorithm, we hope you will consider investing in our organization.” The person disregards the email as a far fetch hoax, but decides to keep an eye on the market just for fun. The first prediction comes true, with the stock reaching sizable games. Thinking it’s a coincidence, they keep an eye on the second prediction, which also comes true. So does the third, and the fourth. So does the fifth. Given a 50/50 chance any stock prediction pans out, there’s only a 3.1% chance it was all coincidence five predictions in a row would pan out (p< .05). So the person decides to send a couple hundred to the organization, to get another stock pick. They invest their entire life's savings in the stock, which then plummets. How does this work? Well, lets say the email gets sent out to 10,000 people. The con artist sends out random predictions to the entire group. Sometimes they pan out, sometimes they don’t. Let’s say 50% of the time they are correct. The ones who are correct, get the next prediction. Only 3.125% of them get all 5 predictions right. That’s still over 300 people, who have their predictions right every time. If even only 10% of those were following along, that’s still over 30 people who believe your claims are legitimate. If each is willing to invest $100 in your company, a con artist could easily pull in $3000, not to mention cash out on an artificially inflated stock. There are two types of statisticians out there.
Frequentist and Bayesianby pure coincidence. My point is, even a string of highly unlikely events are no indication of objective truth. I have been participating in multiple churches for years. Part of this is because we find much more engaging children’s programs elsewhere (seriously the LDS primary is pretty awful). Another part of this was that the services of some other churches where we participate are regularly more inspiring and motivational. The pastors can be quite good at their job and there is an incentive for the pastor individually and the church body generally to seek better sermons. I find the general level off Acceptance and “come as you are” refreshing. I also enjoy seeing old things with new eyes. I love to see the old familiar scripture stories taught with a different and equally valid focus or interpretation.
In summary, the LDS church is not so great at engaging, inspirational, and motivational meetings. None of us here would be particularly surprised at that.
Why then do I not just begin attending these other churches full time and leave the LDS in the rear view mirror? Because I have found that there are some things that the LDS church excels at that many other churches have significant difficulty to offer.
Stupid analogy time:
Imagine that I was running out of gas in my car and I prayed to know where I should go. First I came upon a grocery store and no matter how hard I looked I could not find gas anywhere. I left disappointed but found another store a few miles down the road. This one was a gas station and convenience store. It had some of the same things that the grocery store offered and
it had gas!Does this mean that God only wants me to shop at the gas station from now on? I do believe that God can answer prayers and even that God could lead you out of the LDS church (particularly if it was actively harmful to your personal well being). OTOH, I would be very careful in interpreting feelings or events as divine instruction to make permanent – life altering changes.
Somewhat ironically the LDS scripture to study it out in your mind and seek confirmation in your heart seems to apply well here. If after extended study, analysis, and contemplation – weighing all sides of a decision before you come to a conclusion AND THEN you pray about it and feel a positive confirming feeling in your heart that your decision is the correct one for both you and your family – under those circumstances I would say that you are more than likely moving in the right direction and should carry on.
We here are geared towards helping people stay LDS, however we also support individuals who have made a careful and diligent decision to step away.
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