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Stick out the last 2 semesters. Keep your head down and study hard and finish quickly. One thing I love about BYU is that is has a strong alumni network – stronger in my opinion than my masters degree from a well known east coast college. That could serve you well even if you don’t want to use the ‘church network.’ Think of the $$$ you’ll save by finishing at BYU. View the religious zealots with skepticism. You probably don’t respect freshmen for their academic knowledge, there is no reason to respect the pharisees at BYU either. Frankly, when I ran into a religious know-it-all I thought of them like a freshman trying to hold a meaningful conversation about multi-variable calculus. It wasn’t going to happen, they weren’t evolved enough from a truth seeking perspective. It’s a bit of a snobbish attitude, but it kept me sane.
There may be more people like you than you realize. I had no problem finding relatively like-minded people – or at least people not interesting in talking about religion – in the college of engineering.
Roadrunner wrote:There may be more people like you than you realize.
This is what I told my daughter who just went to UVU and was worried about Provo/Orem culture. I think its a little different at UVU, but her housing complex has many people that are both UVU and BYU students. She is finding a good group that likes to have fun and dont get their panties in a wad about everything.
There are some Mormon Stories podcasts #422 and 423 where John talks with John Hamer, and I thought that was interesting to hear his experience at BYU as a gay student who was at the time mostly out of the church. Check it out.
I had a very unconventional BYU experience. During my freshman year in on-campus housing is when I first met openly gay people. It’s also when I attended my first alcohol party (I didn’t partake. . .). Not that I think you should get involved with that stuff, but I’m just pointing out that Provo has everything other places have, maybe it’s just more hidden. So you can find people like you and not everyone is strict and judgmental. My second year I lived in an area you might want to consider. It was off of State Street sort of near the Macey’s. The complexes are called Carriage Cove/Brandbury (there are some others around there too). At the time these were BYU approved. What was nice about it was that only about half of the residents were BYU students. So you didn’t get that pressure like you might get closer to campus. I hardly ever went to devotionals and many people didn’t go to our ward prayers and activities so in that kind of area you have more freedom. The only caution you are probably already aware of is that you can’t be risking doing things that would get you kicked out, since you are so close to graduating. The rules are pretty strict, so some things that wouldn’t matter to a Mormon elsewhere can be a problem at BYU. And I guess I mostly mean being able to get the ecclesiastical endorsement. Good luck! I think you should just read the BOM and pray until you change the way you feel. You obviously don’t have the spirit with you. Just kidding
I went to BYU (degree in Chemistry as well), though I was a TBM and married so I didn’t experience the fun that comes with single life at BYU.
I would agree with everyone else though. Stick it out for two more semesters.
Regarding your feelings and disaffection, I would exercise extreme caution over what you say to others. While there are a lot of people who feel the same way you do, there are enough judgemental, intolerant pricks who will jump at the chance to report someone to the BYU Secret Police.
“Spiral of silence theory describes the process by which one opinion becomes dominant as those who perceive their opinion to be in the minority do not speak up because society threatens individuals with fear of isolation. The assessment of one’s social environment may not always be correct with reality.” This describes BYU culture in specific and church culture in some wards. Why don’t you try “foreign” societies? I’m sure all the expatriates in BYU don’t fit the “norm”, and are probably more interesting in your own way. Discover new cultures AND deal with BYU – double bonus.
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