New! And confused!

[Anonymous]

I converted 10 years ago. I am a liberal Christian Mormon. I have many that judge me. I have fought to stay. I am really grateful for sites like this that people have similar stories and experiences of feeling less than or do not fit. I have always felt I did not fit. I have joined a few other groups on Facebook as well to help me get through my trying time right now with my religion. I want to stay but I want to go. They did something I was shocked at today when they changed the Bishop Ric. I felt so sick to my stomach, I had to leave. Perhaps reading everyone’s posts, and learning to understand I’m okay too will help me be able to stay.

Anyway, thank you for allowing me to be a part of this. Each group I am accepted at makes me feel less alone.

Warm Regards,

Dean Hansen (I’m a woman with my dad’s middle name)

[Anonymous]

Welcome Mrs. Dean.

I feel like an alien at church and around my family. I hear ya.

[Anonymous]

Welcome!

deancatcat wrote:

I am a liberal Christian Mormon. I have many that judge me.

If you feel comfortable sharing, I’d be interested to hear what you mean by “liberal Christian Mormon”, and why you feel that makes you subject to being judged. Also, what was it about the change in bishopric that upset you?

[Anonymous]

Thank you cwald…I am sorry, I don’t know your real name, . What do you do to get through these times? I am so sad right now. Do you have people that help you? Do you have scriptures or stories that help?

Dean

[Anonymous]

My name is Chad…but cwald will do for this site.

I have discovered that my wife, jwald, is very great NOMMish. I also have found that I have two very close friends from HS that are walking similar paths s jwald and myself. We meet in Logan a couple times a years and spend a lot of time on the phone.

And I correspond and meet with the Portland Mormon story facebook group.

But, when I first started, it was pretty well just the staylds website. It was a very very lonely time.

I studied Buddhism, and read everything I could find written by the 14th Dalia Lama. it helped a great deal. More so than any other prophet I have read.

I also gave up reading the BOM, and just focused on the New Testament. I made it a habit of finding the good and peace from other prophets’ works like Tolkien, Roddenberry, Lewis, Urchtdorf, Shakespeare, Rowlings and Lucus etc etc. There is just so much good out there…but it does take a different perspective to become universal and allow the positive energy to flow.

[Anonymous]

Hi Doug, Thank you for your warm remarks. The Bishop Ric changed when they took the 1st counselor out to be in the Stake. The 2nd went to the 1st position. The 2nd is a man who sells Reliv and gets people into horrible debt by passive persuasion. I fell prey to that some years ago and took a long time to dig myself out of the hole. The Bishop RIC saw his actions as “trying to be helpful.” So, the 2nd position was given to a man that my husband and I helped with his wife joining the church while he became active 10 years ago. This man’s wife got severely mad at me last year when my BFF from church was dying and I could not figure out how to get to her house to buy her treadmill. She has been cold and silent since then no matter how I try. Her husband followed suit a few months ago when I tried to talk to him. Watching my Bishop Ric turn into a group with two men who are self-centered and selfish people was more than I could handle today. I left. I emailed the Presidency, and now I’m in trouble because they called and want to “talk” to me at 8:00pm tonight. I have always been the odd man out. I am liberal, I voted for Obama, I believe in equal rights, I detest discrimination in any form, but am a full tithe payer and hold a recommend. I am shunned by many women; they completely ignore me, and some of the men have told me to shut up in Sunday School. I ask questions. Lots of them. I was put behind a primary piano my first seven years. Now in the past three I have been in Sunday School for most of the time, and am learning all about the church. I didn’t know and don’t know so much, and am shocked at some of the beliefs. I have literally had to talk some of them into finally telling the truth about if it’s doctrine or opinion. I walk into Sunday School and the lady that ask people to do the opening prayer has never asked me in three years, even though on many occasions I have been the only one in the room. I am an outcast.

Cwald or Chad, I grew up on the Bible. The New Testament is where Jesus lives and all his teachings are, so is our salvation in Revelation. I went to church for a few years in a small store front where I met Jesus as a felt figurine a lady held in her hand as she explained this Lord of Love, this Lord of Life, this Redeemer. I felt a overwhelming warm feeling from my head to my toes – I was five, and right then I knew Jesus lived. We moved and I went to a Baptist Church for 12 years before I moved away, and searched for a church for many more years. I have studied many other religions as well, I have a Zen book on my desk, I follow some of Buddha’s teachings. I believe in Mother Earth and all things that are good from nature and God.

I don’t know what else to say, but I am not looking forward to 8:00 and what they have in store for me. I could hardly stand the past year with the previous 2nd counselor that is now the 1st counselor. Now it’s two of them. I suppose I just don’t like two faced people.

[Anonymous]

Good luck tonight.

Sent from my SCH-I500 using Tapatalk 2

[Anonymous]

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Deancatcat, a very interesting introduction. It sounds very familiar on this forum.

Keep it coming.

Mike from Milton.

[Anonymous]

Deancatcat, I hope you survived that meeting and that it ended on a good note. It is so hard to accept when certain people are put into leadership positions when you have experienced the bad side of them. In my own life, I am trying to remember that people can change (thank goodness for all of us for that) and that maybe the calling is to help facilitate that in them. There is no one perfect to ever be called into a calling. After having shared that, there are a couple of people I would have to not sustain if they are ever called into a major calling of leadership. I have distanced from those couple of people and I pray they have learned and changed, but I know what I know and that doesn’t go away. Praying for your enemies definitely helps us in the long run. Being able to wish someone well who has severely wronged you is a good testing point for ourselves. I am able to wish these people well now in my heart but it has taken a few years to get to that point.

[Anonymous]

Dean-

I know it can be very distressing to have people with whom we have had difficulties in leadership positions. The fact is, however, that there is nobody out there that someone hasn’t had an issue with, so it’s unavoidable. I read something interesting the other day about Jesus and the woman “taken in adultery” (John 8:1-11). We often use this as an example of Jesus offering forgiveness to a sinner, but the word forgiveness is never used in the context of this story. He never actually forgave her since it wasn’t necessary for Him to do so — because He never condemned her in the first place. He did recognize her error, and admonished her not to repeat it. When we forgive others it isn’t that by so doing we somehow give something to them that they need. When we forgive, we give something to ourselves that we need in order to become whole. Okay, that’s beginning to sound like preaching, so I’ll stop.

As to being different, I suggest you wear it as a badge of honor. Not that you’re better than others, but that you can be confident about your own opinions while still sharing important beliefs about the gospel with others who might not share those same opinions. There will always be those at church who will be uncomfortable around you because you force them out of their comfort zone and make them consider things they have perhaps never wanted to consider before. In any case, I’d be surprised it there weren’t one or two other lurkers in your congregation who share your “liberal” views.

[Anonymous]

Welcome! I hope we can offer something to help you carve your way! Sadly the church can be a very lonely place when you don’t fit in. It’s not right, heaven help us.

[Anonymous]

Welcome Dean,

I have had similar experiences and I believe I have displayed my differences as a “badge of honor” sometimes, but it can be a lonely road. I still crave approval, I still want validation.

You are among friends here.

[Anonymous]

Hi Everyone, I refused to meet with the Bishop or any one else for that matter. I did go to church today, and the last song was God be with you ’till we meet again, which is the song sung by a woman at church with a beautiful voice, to my BFF that died last year. I burst into tears and cried uncontrollably until the meeting was over. I realize how much she and I held each other up because we were so much the same. At Sunday School, the Bishop came over and sat with me and my husband. I had to leave early because one of my daughters came to visit today, and I don’t see her often as she lives farther away. I hugged the Bishop and wept. All of your voices were in my head today, and in my heart. Each one of the stories, the trials, the fears, the heart felt love and spirit came in a flood of emotion today, and I wept with joy to know you all. I don’t know if you realize how grateful I am to know you people. If I can make it through one more day knowing I am not alone, the day is a success and I am blessed. Thank you all…… so sincerely….

[Anonymous]

Hi Everyone. I started my Stats classes so I haven’t been able to get on here much, or anywhere else for that matter! The meeting I didn’t go to, I did see one of the Presidency members, and I’m pretty much in trouble. I have been released as the ward choir pianist because I do not sustain the two new counselors. Well, one was 2nd and moved to 1st, now the new 2nd is just as bad. I am not sure what I’m learning in this ward. Perhaps there isn’t anything to learn anyway… *sigh*!! Thanks everyone.

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