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Hello everyone! My name is Mike and I have been a member of the LDS church since 2008 when I converted from Presbyterian. I still have a strong testimony of the church even though I have not been active in over a year, since our move from WA state to SC. I never really felt like I fit in while in WA due to my wife not being a member. My son however did join shortly after I did and attended with me while in WA state. It really was hard at times in WA being a part member family which more than anything caused my move away from being active. Lately I have wanted to go back as the desire to be a part of the church has never really left, but I have yet to give it a try due to my feelings from my last ward. I have met a couple of people here that are members of the ward I am and they seem like nice people. I also have had some issues keeping with the words of wisdom, even though I know that it is best to follow it. Surely couldn’t hurt anyone. I have also found no desire to go to the temple and do not feel that there is any rush to do so. Just joined here to talk with people that have questions about the church as well and gain some additional insight. Mike
Hey Mike. Welcome to the community. Glad to have you with us here in our own little virtual ward. Nice to have you hear Mike. You will find broad acceptance for a lot of points of view. Looking forward to hearing more about yours. Nice to meet you Mike, It can make things extra difficult when the home is divided like that. I’d just like to encourage you to continue to seek after that spiritual fulfillment that you yearn for…it is a worthwhile prize.
Welcome to the group.
Welcome. I used up all of my available time with other comments tonight (guests arriving very soon), so all I can say is, “Welcome! Glad to have you hear.”
Hey mike – I haven’t posted on here for five months until conference weekend – but, I get what you are saying. I don’t give a crap about the WoW or any other Pharisaical commandment, or many of the cultural orthodox expectations
but lately, I kind of want to be a part of the church again. Can I be a mormon and not believe in that crap? Can I be a mormon and drink coffee and beer and not attend the temple………This is a real question that I ask. obviously my fam says no – we know that. — but what about other wards? What about mlbrowninsc ward? Can he exist? Is SLC okay with his faith?
Please, SLC – answer this question for me. PLEASE. Can I be a mormon and not be a temple mormon?
Anyway, I, like yourself mlbrowninsc -after all I have been through – would still like to be a mormon. Is that okay with the church?
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Admin edit from Ray: You know I love you, cwald, but we aren’t here to challenge anyone outside the forum explicitly. That simply isn’t what we do. We are here to help each other in whatever way we can, hopefully to stay LDS in whatever way is possible and meaningful to each of us.Period. The paragraph before this one is enough to make your point, so I removed the “challenge” to those outside this forum.] Thanks for the warm welcome everyone. I look forward to getting know everyone and join in with the conversations here. I am planning on going to church this weekend. I will be sure to post my feelings about my first trip to my SC ward. I am looking foward to seeing the difference between wards on different sides of the country. And I would like to know the answer to the questions posed above as well. Can I be a Mormon and have a coffee here and there, not go to the temple and have a wife that is not a member? We shall see. Mike, welcome to the group here. I find many like-minded mormons on this site as we are open to share thoughts, doubts, and experiences…and yet also recognize the positives about church that give us that feeling of missing it when we stop going.
There are positive things about the church. Why throw those out because of something like coffee? Right? While discussing things online is a great way to gain support, we often find the social face to face more of the training grounds on how we connect and interact with the ward we live in.
So perhaps you need both. Go to your ward, start searching for things you need to learn and give and serve in that ward with people, and then visit this site for support and sharing thoughts and experiences, which help you go back to the ward.
I look forward to learning from your posts as you keep us updated on how your new ward fits for you. Welcome!!
cwald wrote:Please, SLC – answer this question for me. PLEASE. Can I be a mormon and not be a temple mormon?
I believe SLC has answered that, as I’ve heard multiple talks over the pulpit inviting people to come and be a part of the fold.However…they have a mission to preach and to fulfill…and the members take it literally. Yes, you can be a non-temple attending mormon. But you have to feel comfortable around others who value the temple as the highest goals for all of us. There are sure to be pressures to conform, because in their hearts, that is what they truly believe you need to do in order to be happiest.
How you handle that environment is up to you. But I believe the message has been clear…SLC wants to teach the members to welcome everyone where they are…and help everyone move closer to Christ.
There is good in the church that draws us to it, and the closer we get to the church the more blemishes we see of the imperfect worldly organization it is, and that allows us to make choices based on our character, and grow from it.
Heber13 wrote:cwald wrote:Please, SLC – answer this question for me. PLEASE. Can I be a mormon and not be a temple mormon?
I believe SLC has answered that, as I’ve heard multiple talks over the pulpit inviting people to come and be a part of the fold.I respectfully disagree with your conclusion. I just do not see it like that.
It’s like the analogy they used of Jesus leaving the 99 white sheep and going after the 1 black sheep. Sure, they will do that, but once they get the black sheep, they expect it to turn into a white sheep just like everybody else.
Not sure what I wrote that was unacceptable and a “challenge” that got deleted, but I don’t care. No problem. Probably need to go back into lurk mode anyway before I start getting phone calls again for hanging out with all you apostates.
I see your point, cwald…there is much emphasis on conformity to the commandments as safety and blessings follow. But I see you adding your feelings to the conversation, not keeping to the facts. I do not dismiss your feelings, they are completely valid. Let me emphasize that again, I do NOT disagree with your feelings. But I disagree (respectfully) with your experience being fact.
I don’t see them teaching “black and white” sheep, but “lost sheep” that should be sought after and not shunned from the 99 because they wander, but an invitation to them to come back. You can interpret the invitation as you wish, but they don’t teach to come back and be white. I completely understand that many times the 99 sheep are making the 1 feel the need to conform… but the shepherds are not preaching black and white, but lost and found. The other stuff is just stuff you deal with when you join the fold again.
In short, there is a difference between what we experience from the members and what is preached over the pulpit.
I still believe strongly many members of our wards do not hold temple recommends, and are still welcome in the congregation. I don’t think that can be disputed.In most wards I’ve attended, 20%-40% of all people who have held temple recommends at one point don’t have one at any moment. Essentially, nobody in the ward knows who they are except the Bishopric and the PEC – and it really should be just the Bishopric. I understand completely that there are pressures to have a current recommend, but to say those who don’t hold a current recommend aren’t wanted by “The Church” and/or the local church just doesn’t ring true for me. Generally speaking, local congregations are desperate enough (outside of the Western Mormon corridor) for people that they don’t discourage anyone from attending intentionally – and I know the global leadership would prefer someone be in the pews and chairs than not at church, excepting those who are disruptive and truly in apostasy mode.
(cwald, I’m sure you don’t remember exactly what I deleted, but it was a direct challenge to others outside this forum. Please trust me that it didn’t fit our mission here – although I want you to continue to contribute, IF you won’t get in trouble by doing so. You add an important voice and perspective, and you almost never have been moderated. Lurk, absolutely, but please don’t feel like everything you say will be edited if you comment. This was an exception, I am sure.)
mlbrowninsc wrote:Thanks for the warm welcome everyone. I look forward to getting know everyone and join in with the conversations here. I am planning on going to church this weekend. I will be sure to post my feelings about my first trip to my SC ward. I am looking foward to seeing the difference between wards on different sides of the country. And I would like to know the answer to the questions posed above as well. Can I be a Mormon and have a coffee here and there, not go to the temple and have a wife that is not a member? We shall see.
Welcome,
I’m getting in this conversation a little late and I think what I say has been said by others already.
Being a Mormon is a state of mind, it is how you want to identify yourself. Others will identify or lable you differently but how you feel about yourself is what is important.
Can you drink coffee and be a Mormon? Sure, some people will call you a Jack Mormon. If drinking coffee is the biggest of your worries then you are in pretty good shape. My feelings on the Word of Wisdom are moderation although for my wife’s sake I follow the letter of the law. Coffee and alchoholic drinks in moderation and without being addicted to them have been found in some studies to actually be good for you. I can’t say the same thing about tobacco.
Can you have a wife that is not Mormon? You bet. I look beyond the teachings about the sealing power and priesthood authority. I find it hard to believe a loving Father would deny familial relationships in Heaven to those that haven’t been sealed. Do the numbers. My TBM also has some problems with denying the family relationship in the eternities to her non-member family.
Not go to the Temple. I would take that one real slow. Once you go to the Temple your husband-wife relationship/dynamic will take some drastic changes. Yes, you can still be a Mormon and not go to the Temple.
There will be no trip to the temple any time soon for me. I would want my wife to be a member and join me. She has became more open to the church but has no desire to go to or join any church. Many people don’t understand that, but I respect it and knowing of her childhood experiences with a few holy roller types I can’t blame her. Maybe she’ll come around some time. I enjoy church and want to return to further my relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus. I know there are many members that have problems. All of US are struggling with something. Jesus has been our only member to be perfect. Mil – welcome to the site. Sorry to chime in late. In a recent RS lesson in my ward, the sister who was teaching on the WoW (a convert also) said that she struggles to see what is wrong with social drinking, and she still does occasionally, but she is trying to gain a testimony of the principle. In any case, it’s evidence to me that there are all types of people in the church. It’s interesting how so often the issue holding people back is believing that everyone else is just the same but that they are different. There are many more differences than we think. Ideally it should be OK to be yourself at church, while striving to be your best. Some wards do really have a hard time letting people be themselves and say what they think without being blackballed. Hopefully your ward is accepting. I have found mine to be very accepting. I think if you speak from the heart, with respect for those whose opinions differ (the hardest part of all), and you expect to be accepted, you will be.
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