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Boy, this is an exercise in ups and down…. Had some major breakthroughs in the last while. One, the process of writing my own Personal Articles of Faith has been so liberating. One principle I have codified is a “belief in self-acceptance”, and strategies to respect those tendencies as I find a way to be happy in the the Church. This has created a new enthusiasm in myself lately. Respecting that my INFJ personality makes it hard for me work inside situations that require following stilted, scripted, administrative rules, and deciding NOT to be a veil worker or to engage in callings that require learning a lot of procedural rules or precise procedures — makes me feel I can go to Church and be happier. When they ask for veil workers, I’ll just recognize that such an activity is not my strength and decline because it is too procedural and scripted; it is not my strength, and I don’t want it to be a strength. I actually wrote a polite letter to the temple (void of reasons) declining a veil worker recertification invitation, and I feel very good about it. Recognizing that there are callings where you DO have a lot of room to function without a lot of procedural rules to memorize or abide by is also liberating.
And not only that, I found I can still be a good father and teach gospel principles even though I may not fully buy-into all the cultural values we hold as a religion. Spirituality can be independent of, or complimentary to Mormonism.
Had a really good conversation with my son this evening, and taught him the four phases of prayer I learned from a protestant minister when I first learned to pray at the age of 16 — Give Thanks, Ask Forgiveness, Pray for others, Ask for things you need. I asked my son if he believes God answers prayers, and he said “not always”, which I thought was a very accurate assessment for a primary child….then found God had answered a prayer for him recently that I didn’t know about it. None of these things require you to preach unquestioning obedience or any of the things that you hear at Church. They are pure spirituality, and they can exist powerfully with or without Mormonism at the core of your life.
Don’t know why, but these personal insights, and this sense of independence has been a long time coming. I honestly believe there is a foundation forming for better and unique relationship with the Church as I go forward as I work on these Personal Articles of Faith.
That is wonderful. I hope you continue to discover more wonderful, healing facts for you. I loved the chat you had with your son. Very nice. :thumbup: I had my own moment of “enlightenment” recently. I focussed again on the LDS church teaching, “Man is that he might have joy.” I realized that even as a “Universalist,” I still love the idea. More importantly, I can share the idea with my devote TBM family members. We both can walk that pathway. It brings the church back toward me, if only via parameters. It is good in my familial relationships. I loved your conversation with your son also. I have three sons, one completely out of the church, one a faithful TBM, one a questioning New Order guy. I asked once if the Mormon church had never existed, where would their faith community be. Answers: Jesuit Priest, Born Again Christian, Buddhist. I myself have returned to my Native American belief system, mixed with respect for the teachings of Christ and hope in the Grace his message offers. PS: Tom Haws and Silentdawning are running neck and neck in messages posted. Interesting!
My, are we older folks up early, George (though of course you are earlier and more “experienced” than I am)! At the rate SD is going, I am sure he will surpass me rapidly. I think I started here about three months after the forum began, so I’m a bit of a straggler. Tom Haws wrote:My, are we older folks up early, George (though of course you are earlier and more “experienced” than I am)! At the rate SD is going, I am sure he will surpass me rapidly. I think I started here about three months after the forum began, so I’m a bit of a straggler.
I work at a computer for as much as 18 hours a day, and when most people will take a break and get away from their desk, I usually come to StayLDS and post something. So I guess that allows a person to rack up posts pretty quickly. I like George’s suggestion that focusing on “Men are that they might have joy” can be enlightening. This is because there have been aspects of Church service that have made me downright miserable. Is it consistent with his teachings to persist in those things which are persistently misery-creating? I’m not talking about disobedience to the clean living commandments, but I AM talking about trying to force oneself to do things which after a couple decades of trying have proven to be tedious and unfulfilling. I’m sure each of us has our own list.
That’s wonderful to read, SD. You have a very astute son. Oh, and you’re all rookies – babes in blogging diapers, so to speak.
:ugeek: SD, very cool stuff. You’re a great example of finding some peace while realizing you must continue to journey.
Thanks for sharing.
SilentDawning wrote:One principle I have codified is a “belief in self-acceptance”,
Love it.
:thumbup: Thanks for sharing your attempts to “find out what the gospel means for you personally.” God knows your heart, and your heart is pure gold.Quote:SD wrote…
Don’t know why, but these personal insights, and this sense of independence has been a long time coming. I honestly believe there is a foundation forming for better and unique relationship with the Church as I go forward as I work on these Personal Articles of Faith.
Nice, and I see that you once were SD “the grey” but now SD “THE WHITE”
Roy wrote:SilentDawning wrote:One principle I have codified is a “belief in self-acceptance”,
Love it.
:thumbup: Thanks for sharing your attempts to “find out what the gospel means for you personally.” God knows your heart, and your heart is pure gold.Thanks Roy — appreciated. When I reflect on the choices I made as a non-member teenager and an idealistic young adult, I almost agree with you….but as a mature adult, I think the gold has been considerably tarnished with age
F4H1: Yes, I did change my avatar. I’m trying to be more positive about all this Church stuff, and I felt this incredible burden lifted when I wrote out my statement of freedom from trying to force myself to do those cultural things that for decades, have made me miserable. So, I tried to find an Avatar that reflects a new state of mind…thanks for noticing!!
SilentDawning wrote:Thanks Roy — appreciated. When I reflect on the choices I made as a non-member teenager and an idealistic young adult, I almost agree with you….but as a mature adult, I think the gold has been considerably tarnished with age
I think I know where you are coming from SD, up until last year I thought I could control my destiny and my life. There was much confidence and power in that. But life happens without our permission, and the longer we live the more varied our life experience is likely to become. Perhaps the gold of your heart has been seasoned, aged, or tempered. How can you know that this isn’t God’s own refinement process to burn up the dross and keep the pure love. Maybe God needs to break down your pre-conceived notions so that He may more fully guide your journey, that you might resist Him less. I think cultivating your personal A of F is a very positive step in this direction.
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