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There has been chatter that the church may change the requirement to wait a year from a civil ceremony to a temple sealing since Feb in the SLTribWell the chatter has grown this last week to include that the church is getting out of the marriage business altogether. The rumor is that marriages will no longer be performed in Temple, only sealings. While this is only internet rumors, it is showing up in many places. One post said that it is already being distributed to Area Authorities for training to the Stake. On the Mormon Stories Facebook page, someone posted that a friend went for a bishop’s interview in preparation for a Sept Temple wedding, and the bishop told her he heard from the SP that thinsg are changing.
I hope all this is true!
Sheldon – This is a rumor I hope is founded in fact. I am the granddaughter of two beautiful grandparents, whose only child (and daughter) joined the Church and married in the temple. The photo’s in my moms album tell the rest of the story. Fortunately my grandparents found a way to heal from their pain and our family enjoyed nearly 30 years of great memories and connections. Those pictures though just break my heart. So I am voting – Yes – let the rumor be enacted as fact and make marriage a family event!
:clap: I wonder does my vote count?
:problem: I saw this article a while ago. I will believe it when it happens. I have considered writing my own letter asking the church headquarters to consider the issues. Do you think it would matter? That last thing I’d want is some patronizing letter from the secretary to the FP telling me to bring it up with my local Stake leaders. I hope it is true. It is the right thing to do – separating civil marriage from temple sealing. I know the Church just closed its adoption work, which I think is a good decision.
Ray, for those of us who are not well informed, what does: Quote:I know the Church just closed its adoption work, which I think is a good decision.
mean?
Or, give me a link to follow.
mom3 beat me to it. 🙂 Old-Timer wrote:I hope it is true. It is the right thing to do – separating civil marriage from temple sealing.
I know the Church just closed its adoption work, which I think is a good decision.
Why do you think it’s a good decision Ray?
We worked with LDS Family Services for several years. Eventually I saw the writing on the wall. Fewer people were giving their children up for adoption, which in many ways is a good thing (but like with most things the long answer is that it’s not that simple). I also saw that we were one of thousands of couples seeking adoption. Combine all that with growing older and I gave up hope. Even though it cost us a lot of money and bore no fruit for us I still see the cost savings (the church pays a significant portion of the adoption fee) as a net positive for couples that
doend up finding placement. I hate to derail. The adoption thing probably deserves it’s own thread.
Yes, it might deserve its own thread. I simply will say that I think couples should have as many options as possible when contemplating adoption, and the demand too far exceeded the supply, to put it crassly. /Back to the regularly scheduled discussion
Sheldon wrote:There has been chatter that the church may change the requirement to wait a year from a civil ceremony to a temple sealing since
Feb in the SLTribWell the chatter has grown this last week to include that the church is getting out of the marriage business altogether. The rumor is that marriages will no longer be performed in Temple, only sealings. While this is only internet rumors, it is showing up in many places. One post said that it is already being distributed to Area Authorities for training to the Stake. On the Mormon Stories Facebook page, someone posted that a friend went for a bishop’s interview in preparation for a Sept Temple wedding, and the bishop told her he heard from the SP that thinsg are changing.
I hope all this is true!
I hope so, too. I don’t actually look back on my wedding/sealing with much fondness. The cold outside kind of matched the interior scene. Between the two of us we had just one sibling who was the right age and temple status. No aunts, uncles, cousins and we didn’t know the sealer from Adam. I’m not a Rock Waterman fan, but I did happen to read his post about this and agree with a lot of it. Another thing that might be playing into this: I have several friends whose teenagers have gone online and unintentionally bumped up against videos of the temple ceremony. Some come away in tears. It is NOT how they pictured their weddings.
Interesting article that seems to initially focus on the need internationally for some changes, things that may work in Utah don’t necessarily translate globally to the same experiences for all worthy Saints. And with any change, it opens the box to see how it applies to situations like litigation issues for the church, or for families with non-recommend holders, and all other situations. I’ll just share a little of my recent personal experience…
My daughter plans to get married in the temple in August. Some in both sides of the family will be excluded from the temple ceremony. I am glad I made commitments to keep my recommend and can be there with my daughter. But it is a bit awkward for family who will sit outside and not join. And yet…the room only holds 35 people, so there will be many family and friends, even those with recommends, that will all be waiting outside to greet them when they come out the temple, and so not everyone who aren’t allowed to attend will feel so different from the others who are waiting with them.
She worked with some great loving bishops in Utah county that helped her prepare and get ready for being in the temple, she didn’t really have to wait a full year from the time she made some confessions of her prior choices when struggling through high school, because the bishops followed the spirit instead of a strict guideline in a handbooks. We are grateful for loving bishops who serve and help.
As part of my fatherly responsibilities, I am preparing my daughter for the temple, what it will be and what it won’t be. She finds it all interesting. I’ve told her what it teaches, what symbols and symbolic meanings are there, and that she won’t say “I do” because that’s not part of the ceremony. In other words, as part of my job as a dad to teach, I feel there are really few things in the temple that I have covenanted I can’t tell her, the rest is sacred and only shared under proper situations…but what is more sacred than a father lovingly explaining things to his daughter to prepare her for her big day and the covenants she is preparing to enter into? She does not look at the dresses and clothes and cry because it isn’t what she wants her wedding day to be…she just is learning what we’ve all done in our family for generations. Some things are weird to her, but I like she is getting that exposure to it now rather than on an emotional day like her wedding day.
She’s excited and looking forward to it.
She actually considered the civil marriage first to include all family, and so she wouldn’t have to worry about a 1-yr waiting period to be worthy. But, the way it is all going now…she feel so good about herself and how she is starting her eternal marriage with the love of her life, and they are so excited for their special day in August. I can see it in her eyes…there is something special about starting the relationship with the temple ceremony, and it has motivated my daughter to really work hard to get there and do it right. She will be blessed for that, I think.
Of course, I understand other situations and circumstances will be different than my experience with my daughter now. I am in favor of the church changing rules to accommodate others who would benefit from a 2-step process in less than a year. Rigid rules with specific time periods for waiting to meet a guideline are stifling to me on personal circumstances, and the spirit and purposes of eternal teachings can sometimes be lost in a generally accepted “good idea” for a guideline that works for some people.
But I also hope families see there is also value in not just doing what is easy, but pushing to keep the temple sealing a primary goal and it remain as the goal for young people to keep as their main focus, for many reasons. I like my kids to push for a temple wedding as their goal, and all family members push for staying worthy to have a recommend to be able to be there, and if the ideal goals can’t be reached then we accept and work with what we can do in the circumstances we are in.
Just my current view on things based on what our family is going through now. And our family is very far from the issues other international families are dealing with.
I am glad it worked out for your family. I also like the refreshing tale of loving Bishops. I personally see no reason to beat up on people who found the love of their life, made mistakes, and then made the commitment to be married — but have to punish them for their lack of discretion (not that it applied in your situation). We had one person posting here who was ready to be married, but was agonizing if she and her intended should put themself through a year of waiting and hands-off each other in hopes of getting the temple marriage from the get go. What a recipe for unecessary unhappiness and risk! Heber 13, that was beautiful …and it definitely needs be said. It’s good to read your posts again. I wish the temple struck me differently. (I’m not talking about kids who want Bride-zilla weddings in my previous post, but I can’t go into specifics without saying too much.) After years of being told and more or less pretending to myself that I find the temple meaningful and satisfying, I have to admit that I just don’t. There is something about the script, the narrator, the transition from the filmed part to the non-film part – they just don’t add up for me. But I’ve felt a lot of love there, too, as the years have gone by with my husband and friends in the gospel. And I’m open to a change of heart.
SilentDawning wrote:What a recipe for unecessary unhappiness and risk!
Ditto! There is a fine balancing act of stretching people to be their best so they grow, and relaxing from pushing and allowing good people to have love in their life.
Ann wrote:I wish the temple struck me differently. (I’m not talking about kids who want Bride-zilla weddings in my previous post, but I can’t go into specifics without saying too much.) After years of being told and more or less pretending to myself that I find the temple meaningful and satisfying, I have to admit that I just don’t. …And I’m open to a change of heart.
Ann…I like your posts and your honesty.
:wave: I get what you’re saying, and I think it is healthy to just call it what it is for you. Others may talk about the temple being “amazing” and “so incredible” …and that’s great for them, but it is OK also to just say, “meh, it doesn’t do it for me.” …and then focus on the feelings of love. That is a respectable and very honest response, one that many people will probably thank you for because others may be scared to admit it is anything but “it’s the most incredible experience in the history of EVER!”.:thumbup:
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