New Stake Program

[Anonymous]

This program was introduced to us in ward council as an “assignment” not a calling or even as a volunteer. It was made clear this would be in addition to any callings or other personal responsibilities and it includes young and old. I must agree these are all worthy attributes for any and all individuals to strive for. As I sat and listened my internal kettle began to simmer but why, when it all sounds so good and positive? For one thing I am tired of being compelled to do things when someone else feels it to be a necessity and it’s time. Once they got into the explanations particularly that we need to educate ourselves, manage our finances and possibly learn ins and outs of starting a business my kettle started to whistle and I had to lower my head to hide my grimace. A few years ago I went thru a few rounds of topics here about my experience with a calling that ruined my pursuit of just those things. I know now I should have said no I can’t do it at this time but it was the third time in as many years I was called to do this and I couldn’t get any affirmation from any leaders that I should do what I thought best for myself. Honest I asked for council from several leaders. This made it necessary for me to drop out of school as well as other training, drop off the radar of contacts and mentors I had made and it cost me a ton of money. Before anyone makes the suggestion, I’ll briefly mention that under my circumstances this pursuit could not be resumed again five years later.

It took me a long time to bury my disappointment and even anger at times but it’s not too far from the surface. Now I am to understand that we as congregations need to learn about and be diligent about just the things I was striving for. This has opened up some wounds for me that again I need to suppress and hide. There is so much that is claimed to be prophetic that is in reality just well intention men advising us what they think is best. One of these days I am going to walk out of the building and not return. I think if it weren’t for disrupting my family structure I already would have made the exit. For now all I can do is rant.

[Anonymous]

I am sorry for your experience Kipper. I know exactly what you mean about how wounds can be so easily opened and how close to the surface the anger can really be, even if I haven’t felt it for a long time.

The training part for the ward councils is supposed to go out to all members of the council, including counselors in presidencies. That was poorly handled in our stake mostly because of miscommunication about the intent of it (and it did include a healthy dose of lack of communication). From a ward council/welfare/HT/VT point of view I think it’s great to know what the program is about so proper referrals (“invitations”) can be made. That training is separate from the program itself, though, and in my stake was done in a single two hour meeting. There doesn’t seem to be any need for all council members to take part in the program itself to understand what and who it’s for. I wholeheartedly disagree that the program is for everybody.

[Anonymous]

Kipper wrote:

This program was introduced to us in ward council as an “assignment” not a calling or even as a volunteer. It was made clear this would be in addition to any callings or other personal responsibilities and it includes young and old. …

Sounds to me like the first step in becoming self reliant should be to determine what is necessary and what we can easily live without… and many members can live without another ‘mandatory’ program.

[Anonymous]

Quote:

God Bless those that can say yes to everything & make it look easy. I don’t know how you do it.

My answer to the problems you faced is (sing this rythmically)

Nuh Nuh Nuh Nuh Nuh Nuh NO!!!

You can be as busy as you want to be as soon as you get onto your own personal “clock”. If you don’t care what the local leadership thinks, and have a clear idea of what makes you happy, you can put the church requests in their rightful place….

[Anonymous]

I did go to the presentation last night. It was interesting. There were about 11 or 12 tables of 10 per table. 100+ total.

I wish they would get rid of the words

Quote:

self reliant

. I thought during the presentation that I’m really reliant

on so many people in my life. I can’t do it all. When left on my own, I usually screw it up. Over the years, I’ve developed

a network of close friends that I share thoughts & ideas with. They don’t judge but do give great insight. They use me

in turn, sometimes.

Most of the people stayed for the break out sessions. There appears to be a need to network & share thoughts & ideas.

That’s always good.

[Anonymous]

Minyan Man wrote:

I wish they would get rid of the words

Quote:

self reliant

. I thought during the presentation that I’m really reliant

on so many people in my life. I can’t do it all. When left on my own, I usually screw it up. Over the years, I’ve developed

a network of close friends that I share thoughts & ideas with. They don’t judge but do give great insight. They use me

in turn, sometimes.

What they really mean is “responsible” mixed with a bit of “having ready access to the basic necessities.” I can understand why they don’t use the word “responsible,” but it always causes such confusion.

[Anonymous]

I agree, a lot of times what we mean & what we communicate are two different things.

Another phrase we use in the church is:

Quote:

Saviors on Mount Zion

What we mean is: we are linked to our ancestors & they are linked to us. By doing FH & doing temple ordinances for them.

What we communicate is: by doing temple work for our ancestors, we become saviors. I my mind there is only one savior. It’s not me.

This is just one example. It is not a criticism of FH, Temple work or the church.

It is a (small) warning about about how we as a people & a church communicate. (end of rant)

[Anonymous]

Interesting MM. In my orthodox days I did believe I was literally a “savior on mount zion” by doing temple work for by deceased ancestors and others. My belief was that I was doing something they couldn’t do for themselves, thereby saving them in the same way THE Savior did for us what we can;t do for ourselves thereby saving all of us. I no longer hold that belief but I understand where it comes from.

Of course the point there is the terminology we use for some things. When my wife first heard of this new program she was excited and said she wanted to go to the kickoff meeting – until I explained to her what it was really about. (Remember our stake had a communication issue in this regard.) She automatically thought when she heard “self reliance” that the meeting was going to be about gardening, canning, etc. Contributing to that idea was that our stake coordinator (or whatever the title is) is really into that sort of stuff and has done firesides, self reliance fairs, etc. before and she and her husband spent several years living “off the grid” (they don’t currently do so). When my wife found out what it was really about she lost all interest.

What would be good terminology to use to differentiate the type of “self reliance” this program is meant to address as opposed to the “prepper” sort self reliance?

[Anonymous]

DarkJedi wrote:

What would be good terminology to use to differentiate the type of “self reliance” this program is meant to address as opposed to the “prepper” sort self reliance?

The first thing that comes to mind is, mutual reliance. The idea of helping each other to navigate issues, challenges & problems.

Over the past few years, I’ve developed personal relationships in the church & outside. I can call on them (& they can call on me) to just talk, for the most part. I can trust them to keep a confidence & they can count on me. Sometimes it just venting. But not all the time.

I think this is really what they’re trying to do.

[Author]

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