i too like your metaphor… i would think, though, that our TBM friends might think that oir disease is of our own making, and cancer is not. as well, i think our disease is the exact opposite of being fatal…it is life-giving and liberating to be aware.
i no longer have doubts or concerns. at best, i can define that the Church is true (useful) in ways that are meaningful to me, but i have no belief in any of the supernatural claims. and while that is liberating to me, it is immensely confusing to everyone close to me, either in or out of the church. i am feeling profoundly lonely right now.