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A few years ago I decided that I needed to know for myself if the church was true. I decided to follow Moroni’s promise like I had taught so many people on my mission. I have read the Book of Mormon several times and I believed it was true but I had never gotten any answer to my prayer when I asked if it was true. I prayed many times but got no answer. I have tried everytthing I can think of — fasting, going to the temple, etc. I have struggled with this for many years but still nothing. One day the thought popped into my head — maybe the reason that I’m not getting an answer is because there is no one to answer it. Am I alone? Why would God answer so many other’s prayers, but not mine? Welcome. You certainly aren’t alone here. I would suggest reading some of the older posts that discuss your question. You might want to start with the following one:
My husband did the very same thing you did about the promise in the book of Mormon and got no answer. It is one of the reasons he has left the church now. I asked Heavenly Father why He did not answer the sincere desires of my husbands heart. I am sure there are so many reasons this could be the case, but in my case, the Lord told me he withheld a testimony from my husband because he would have become a fanatic about the church and use his testimony unwisely and to Lord over us. He was already too straigh laced, letter of the law type of person, and neglecting me and the kids for his church callings. He was constantly correcting us and telling us how that is unbecoming of a latter-day saint. This may sound strange, but him not being in the church now has been the best thing for our family and he is so much easier to get along with not knowing everything so sure. I am sure your case is different, but sometimes not getting an answer right away could be a good thing. When I was at BYU years ago, a man who had been a pastor in another church bore his testimony about how he had prayed about the book of Mormon for many years and the answer was always No and to not join the church. After 12 years God suddenly told him it was time to join the church and gave him the witness of the BofM. So, life is strange, but I think there is a reason for everything. Welcome to the site. That’s a familiar story. In my case, I did receive what I would consider a very strong answer, although I can’t say it erased all my questions about the BOM. It just gave me more to think about and a new way to view spiritual experience for myself. Regardless, there are many who feel they have not received any answer, and it’s difficult to say why some do and some do not. One thing I’ve noticed is that different people experience things differently, but I’ve also noticed that at different times in our life, our experiences differ greatly. I have often wondered how much of spiritual experience is driven by physiological factors in the body. I look forward to your comments on the site. Welcome again.
Welcome to the group! Your questions are good ones, and familiar to my situation. Prayer is an interesting thing to me. I look forward to hearing your thoughts and experiences. There is a good discussion going on over at MormonMatters.org on this you may want to check out:
http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/23/enos-envy/http://mormonmatters.org/2009/07/23/enos-envy/” class=”bbcode_url”> Good to have you here.
Even though I was raised in the church by convert parents, had a strong testimony, and went on a mission to Austria, I too have struggled with my testimony at times. Even with my belief in God. I did not marry until I was 25 and I know the pressure there is to get married and have kids in the church. There have been several times that I felt like a misfit in the church and did not belong. My husband, raised as an atheist, and a scientist, had a hard time with faith and religion. He went to Catholic Parochial school as a child but that turned him off to religion. The Mormon faith was the first religion that made any sense to him and he joined on an intellectual testimony hoping the spiritual one would come. When it didn’t, he left the church and I found myself crying my eyes out in a fast and testimony meeting one Sunday. I was begging the Lord to tell me why he had not given a good man like my husband a spiritual witness. Something very unexpectedly happened then. A clear thought came through my head that said, “Why don’t you go visit that 7th Day Adventist church around the corner?” I thought, “We’re did that come from” and then the thought came to me two more times. I told my husband about it and we decided to follow that prompting. I met with the pastor of that church several times and the things he gave to read answered some important questions I had. You see I had been doing all the right things in the church, (paying tithing, going to the temple, etc. etc) but none of the blessings seemed to be coming. In fact everything had gotten worse. My kids were in trouble and my husband did not get his raise, the car and washer broke down, and now he left the church. Where we all the blasted blessings they kept preaching about from the pulpit. Then I came across some anti-Mormon stuff from the Tanners that quoted out of church history and Journal of Discourses. For the first time I thought that the church might be false.
This pastor handed me a little book called “The 5 Day Plan to Know God.” As I was reading, it talked about how the Jews were waiting for their Messiah to come save them from all their trials. When he came and told them he came to save them from their sins not their problems they were ticked off. A light bulb went off in me and I realized I was like those early Jews waiting for God to save me from all my problems. Suddenly I realized I had been living the gospel for the wrong reasons. I knew immediately that the only thing I should be concerned about is being saved from my sins and that is why Jesus died for me. When my husband joined the church the missionaries assumed he had the milk of the gospel (faith in Jesus Christ) but he didn’t. Sometimes in the lds church we concentrate so much on the meat we neglect the milk of the gospel. Other churches mostly have the milk so it is often highly concentrated there. We left the church for two years and investigated the 7th Day church, but one day as they were teaching us a class on the signs of a true prophet, my husband and I looked at each other and knew they were talking about Joseph Smith. Then two books called the “Gainsayers” and “Are Mormons Christian” came into my hands and answered my many questions. Plus we met every week for a year with a man in our old ward who had a Masters degree in Church history. I had never prayed so hard to know if the church was true or not. I cried and cried for a while thinking I had been betrayed by the church like a woman who had found out her husband had cheated on her. We finally came back to the church and had a much stronger testimony, but during that time I asked the Lord about the 7th Day Adventist church and Ellen G. White and other churches (my daughter had joined the Baptist church and my daughter in law was Lutheran). The Lord spoke to me and said the following: “Although the lds church has the fullness of the gospel, I work through all the churches and they are all my people. That other churches are like stepping stones to the full truth. Not everyone can handle the fullness right away. You cannot take a junk food junkie and make them a health food nut overnight. Line upon line. So, at times God leads people to good Christian churches that may prepare them for the fullness eventually.
Remember that when Jesus told Joseph Smith that the other churches had teachings that were an abomination in His eyes, he never said the people or the churches were an abomination just the teachings. Martin Luther, John Calvin, etc, were all reformers and stepping stones towards the truth. I personally prefer to tell people we have the fullness of the gospel instead of saying the ONLY TRUE CHURCH, implying how false they are. My dad was such a wonderful convert to this church. He would meet a Baptist or Lutheran and tell them how wonderful it was that they were Christians and all the things he loved about their faith. Then he would say, “If you can show me that your church has more to offer than mine, I will gladly join your church,” and then a wonderful discussion would pursue.
My dad joined the Mormon church in Germany when he was 25 trying to show his best friend how false this church was. The first time he stepped into a Mormon church he had prayed for God to let him know what kind of a church this was. Shortly after he stepped into the church he noticed his wallet had been stolen. He thought, “Ok, here’s my answer, they are a den of thieves.” As he was leaving he decided to stop and listen to the branch president that was talking at the time. He said, “If you have come to this church to find perfect people, you will be greatly disappointed, but if you want to know if the teachings are true, you will find the truth. Just like with Joseph Smith, Satan arrived first, then God.
Bridget_night, that was a great post! Thank you for sharing all that. I like your comments about line upon line, and how other churches if they are teaching good things can be helpful and stepping stones – and should not be viewed as “the church of the devil” (my words, not yours). Surely the mormon church has imperfect people, and while it claims to have the truth straight from God through revelation and prophets, it is still a matter of faith to believe, which makes it very individual on how we understand and apply things.
The part you wrote that struck me most was:
Quote:Suddenly I realized I had been living the gospel for the wrong reasons. I knew immediately that the only thing I should be concerned about is being saved from my sins and that is why Jesus died for me. When my husband joined the church the missionaries assumed he had the milk of the gospel (faith in Jesus Christ) but he didn’t. Sometimes in the lds church we concentrate so much on the meat we neglect the milk of the gospel.
That is very profound. While I went through a time of trying to champion the cause of pointing out to all my ward members that we are missing the milk and talking about pioneers getting answers to prayers more than talking about the teachings and miracles of Christ, and church meetings are less fulfilling because of it…I have come to realize I make my church experience what I want, regardless of others. I can focus on the basic teachings of Christ, and let that help me know to put into perspective the other things (tithing, youth standards, prop 8, etc) – which to me are the church trying to live the principles. But if we get too far out on the fringe of church teachings, and forget how to tie them back to the core teachings of Christ, they begin to lose the same meaning to my life, and like you, I find I was living the gospel for the wrong reasons. I believe this is why God knows to let some things happen (like the car breaks down despite your obedience), because we need to be reminded of the underlying truth of why we believe what we believe…and not the “save me from my trials” approach you presented.
So, are you comfortable at church now, or are there still things about church that just get under your skin or cause you to be bitter? What does your husband think? Does he know how you feel about it all?
Others have had the same experience. Perhaps you could ask a different question, or seek a different approach. Ask if the Church is good? Ask if it is the place you should be? Ask God. Ask yourself these questions. If God doesn’t answer, you can answer those questions. True? People in the Church talk a lot about “the truth.” Ask different questions. Maybe it isn’t true. Maybe God isn’t there. It’s ok to doubt. Keep searching though. Maybe you have to come up with the answer yourself. Seeking for answers, asking the next questions, that is what we are made to do. Of all the beautiful living creatures in the universe, we humans are the ones compelled to ask why and how, and see with wonder and awe.
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