Not sure why I am here…..

[Anonymous]

I am honestly not sure why I am here…..

Let me give you some background…I first came across the LDS faith back in 2007..I had had a rocky patch and was rather emotional and decided to turn to God, after months of research on internet, forums and prayer..I decided that I could relate to many doctrines of the LDS faith and many made sense and things seemed to become clearer. A lovely lady in the US (I am in the UK) arranged for missionaries to come visit me and they were amazed at how much I knew…anyway two weeks later I was baptised (part of me wonders now if they were going for quantity over quality though to be fair to them, I could talk very well about the Church so maybe I decieved them in a way). Family were furious and many problems came up…six weeks later I decided to leave the Church.

At the end of 2008, I had another rocky emotional time (strange how its always that) and the Church came back into my mind (tbh – it never left I just ignored it for a year) and I prayed for guidance and asked what to do and the next day, bumped into a couple of members from the Church whom I hadn’t seen in ages….to cut along story short this ended up with me going back to the Church, started going to institute and was happy again. A few weeks later, I personally started to have doubts..some of the doctrines I did not agree with and could’nt get my head around…The tithing being one of them and once again ended up leaving. I tried another denomination and didnt like it at all, it didnt feel right so I assumed I just didnt believe in God. I am still in contact with many of the people from Church.

Anyway this was a couple of months ago…which brings me to today…I still think about the Church and the members and cant shake this bizarre feeling which I just cant explain. Today I found out one of my patients I care for is LDS and everything just seems to point me back to the Church. Its weird…I dont even know why I came onto this site, someone sent me the link when all this started to try and keep me in the Church…what made me come on today???

So there it is really…i guess you could say I am in limbo at the moment.

[Anonymous]

Hi,

Welcome to the community here. Feel free to stay and ask questions or participate, if you want to explore staying in the LDS Church. It doesn’t sound like you have given it enough time. That is what I keep thinking when I read your story.

You have prayed for guidance, and it seems you see yourself being prompted to come back into contact with the Church at times. You also mentioned liking many of the doctrines of the Church. You don’t have to have full faith and believe/agree with everything all at once. I suggest using spiritual ideas that resonate with you. You also mentioned not feeling that same sense going to other places.

If you have some tough questions you are worried about, members of our Church and even the missionaries are not always comfortable or able to answer them. Not everyone you might meet in the Church really digs deeply into tough aspects of religion. It just isn’t some people’s nature to be that way, which is ok. If you are not satisfied by the answers you get elsewhere, feel free to ask them here. You might get a variety of opinions, but we are very open and comfortable with difficult topics.

Listen to your heart and your head. You sound like you are looking for something. You will find it if you keep looking (even if it isn’t in the LDS Church). God is out there, and life is a marvelous journey.

[Anonymous]

If I were you, I’d persevere through the doubts for a while and see where it leads you. I’d be a bit worried if God had pushed me to the Church three times that the next time He might take a two-by-four upside my head. (You don’t know me very well yet, so please understand that is my sense of humor peeking out.)

Seriously, I believe in the concept of understanding through action. John 7:16-17 says:

“Jesus answered them, and said, My doctrine is not mine, but his that sent me. If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself.”

As well as being one of the best statements about the separate identity of the Father and the Son in the entire Bible, this also places responsibility on us to actually live what Jesus taught – not just to study and understand it. If you have felt divinely drawn to the LDS Church, especially more than once, I think you need to let go of the handrails of intellectual understanding and dive in. Perhaps you can’t handle the deep end at first, but tithing and other “basics” are things you can do while still standing in the depth where you still can touch bottom.

Welcome. I believe your situation certainly fits the mission here.

[Anonymous]

I read the following on FMH and immediately thought of this post. I hope it helps in some way:

Quote:

My testimony is based in personal spiritual experiences. Might those have just been very strong emotional experiences? It’s possible I guess, but I don’t think so. I think I can feel a distinction. However, there’s no way for me to know for sure. So I weigh things out and decide to really believe that those were spiritual experiences motivated by a heavenly being rather than emotional experiences created in my own body and brain. I really think they were, they felt different from what I recognize as pure emotion, and I’ve decided to trust that part of my judgment. Can I prove it? No. I can’t even prove it to myself, not conclusively. But I believe it all the same. I might doubt it sometimes, but that’s natural. Doubting is different from being completely convinced that it’s not true.

As I implied in my earlier comment, I also happen to have the benefit of being a very right-brained, intuitive person, so I naturally privilege inexplicable, abstract certainty over concrete, external evidence. You could say that I’m better equipped to be a “believer” than a science-minded person such as the OP and several other posters. Not that I don’t love and appreciate science and provable fact; I just have no problem resolving apparent contradictions using my intuition, or “feeling” my way through a decision-making process. My brain’s setup lends itself to spiritual thinking.

I also think there’s validity in following something that just kind of seems true, even if you haven’t had any major spiritual experiences. This is where my spirituality usually lives: the Church just kind of feels generally true. It’s something some part of me always points toward or returns to, despite whatever doubts I might have. I think for a lot of people who don’t have “burnings in the bosom” but choose to stay in the Church anyway, there’s where their faith (or at least their persistence) is ultimately rooted. You’ve got nothing in particular to convince you that it’s true; you just kind of think that it is. Does that make sense, or at least ring true for anybody who can articulate it better than I can?

(http://www.feministmormonhousewives.org/?p=2282#comment-608345)

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the welcome both of you.

I guess I have always been an all or nothing sort of person. Even my Mum would agree with this in non-religious circumstances saying I tend to see things in a black and white scenario, when it is not always the case. I guess this is the reason I left so soon, whenever I had doubts, I felt bad for not believing in everything and didn’t want to mess the other members around (at least this is what I felt like I was doing) as I do have a great deal of respect for my friends and the Church I do have some doubts/questions and thank-you for offering to tackle these for me. In time I will ask some questions regarding some doubts I have.

Ray – thanks for the quote, it certainly brings home some of the feelings I have at times. My heart sometimes shouts out to me, only problem is my heart often wants to take the uncharted waters territory which can be rough and dangerous and my head wants to go with the calm, easy option which isn’t always the correct one.

Thankyou once again for your welcome

[Anonymous]

Hi there NotSure

My how your story kinda echos mine

Different timeframe but still there

I am thankful that there is a place like SLDS for us to come and talk through issues without coming across angry hateful ex-members with nothing but bad things to say about the Church

I hope that you, like I , can slowly start working out your problems

Be well,

[Anonymous]

magicmusician wrote:

Hi there NotSure

My how your story kinda echos mine

Different timeframe but still there

I am thankful that there is a place like SLDS for us to come and talk through issues without coming across angry hateful ex-members with nothing but bad things to say about the Church

I hope that you, like I , can slowly start working out your problems

Be well,

Hi, May I ask how you began to overcome the problems? Do you still have doubts now? Thanks

[Anonymous]

I stillhave some issues yeah

But I have had some questions answered that were troubling me

Someone said to me that – for me as a member – I have to accept my own interpretations of certain scriptures sometimes

I guess that fo rme I needed to let go of some anger that has been in me about some things. Yanno what I mean?

[Author]

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