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I post this here because I don’t think it’s ready for prime time. My missionary son (coming home Oct./Nov.) and I frequently have email discussions about topics like those we discuss here on the forums. He had indicated early on that he received push back to some of his ideas from other missionaries sometimes. In this weeks email he said: Quote:I often feel alone with what I consider left-sided thought within the Church (right-sided thought being what you consider [old guard]). I have especially felt alone at times in the mission, even being called apostate as I defended other religions, spoke of the questionable parts of Joseph Smith history, evolution, the imperfection of prophets, etc. I am glad to find company with key figures such as Uchtdorf, Givens, Bushman, and B H Roberts. I am glad to be part of a Church where free thinking and differing opinions are ok even if it is not always reflected in the culture.
We have been discussing culture and judgmentalism. Frankly, this statement broke my heart (he doesn’t know that). It hurts not because I don’t agree with him but because it’s mostly not OK with the old guard to think freely and have different opinions. I do, however, recognize the ship is turning – but the cultural changes just can’t happen fast enough for me (or him).
As a side note, he does not get push back from his MP, and other than the MP’s preaching of strict obedience I think he’s a pretty good and open guy.
Thank you for sharing. I hear both of you. I think the battle lines that have been drawn are regretful. It hurts when it comes from anywhere but for a missionary it quadruples. You can’t call home, you can’t take a weekend away, or go to a movie and just chill. I run to our little corner of the world every time my toes get stepped on, he can’t. I am sorry. Please let him know that he is thought of with deep concern and appreciation from me. Hugs to both of you. Big, sturdy hugs.
DJ – Thanks for sharing this. He sounds like a good, thoughtful soul. How much longer ’til he’s home? Does he ever talk about teaching the First Vision in particular? Does he teach the straight, canonized version, etc.? Ann, he comes home October/November. He is currently in the office, which he doesn’t like because he doesn’t get out to teach as much. He has discovered a benefit of the office, though – he has nearly constant access to the internet, which he uses to research and listen to conference talks while he works. He hasn’t ever really talked much about the lessons or people he teaches. He does believe Joseph Smith was a prophet. Since being in the office he has read all the versions of the FV, and he does believe the FV happened. He has also read the essays and has some concerns about polygamy/polyandry – but he did know JS was a polygamist prior to his mission. He does not like how JS is always portrayed as a very virtuous individual when it’s clear he has faults, and he doesn’t like how things like translating the BoM have been erroneously portrayed. His thoughts about prophets making mistakes are actually more related to BY and the priesthood ban. He believes prophets are inspired, etc., but that they are just men and prone to the same human nature as the rest of us. On this we agree. I don’t think he is or has been in faith crisis, but his faith has transitioned some. However, he believed in things like evolution well before his mission and came back from BYU firmly believing in evolution. He sounds like an amazing guy. If I received a letter like that from my son I think I’d weep, both tears of joy and tears of sorrow for the position he’s in.
Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for elaborating. I ask because my daughter (home one year) has had a very hard time with it. She can’t reconcile the feelings she had while teaching it with her opinion (now) that it was probably an experience very far from the canonized version. I think the difference may be that he is doing his reconciling in the mission field, Ann. I think your daughter’s experience is much more typical and why there is an issue with RMs going inactive and/or experiencing faith crises. I am curious now and will asking him this coming week and see what he says. He does sound like a wonderful person. Old-Timer wrote:He does sound like a wonderful person.
Now you know why I miss him so much!
Another thing he told me was that his mission averages one missionary going home early every six-week transfer period. Most are mental health issues. One of his jobs is taking them to the airport (with his companion). While he does recognize there are real mental health issues, and sometimes other medical issues, he also perceives some are really in faith crisis mode and it’s not really mental health but spiritual health.
It’s actually interesting to me that he and his comp take them to the airport and not one of the senior couples in the office (they have two couples) or the APs. He says the APs don’t do anything (but spend much more time in their area and proselyte far more than he gets to) and don’t have a car but the couples do have cars.
DarkJedi wrote:I think the difference may be that he is doing his reconciling in the mission field, Ann. I think your daughter’s experience is much more typical and why there is an issue with RMs going inactive and/or experiencing faith crises. I am curious now and will asking him this coming week and see what he says.
Are you noticing return missionaries in your area having problems? Just wondering what you’re seeing first-hand.Small thread jack here – regarding faith/health crisis I have a cute, inactive daughter who has her eyes on a couple of guys who work at our local store. Her preference is the pharmacist, followed by a tall good looking cashier. We try to favor their aisles or our shopping on days when they are around. The other day I was checking out solo and ended up in tall good lookings line. I didn’t realize when I stepped in. It was 7 on Friday or Saturday, so the conversation got around to when he was off shift, he was bummed because he got off late and he was trying to make friends. Long and short, he is an early returned Elder. I don’t think he knows we are LDS, but he said, “Came home from my mission early, still working that out, then moved here with my dad. I am going to singles ward.”
I was so tempted to ask why he came home, not in judgement, but if it was health problems he seems quite recovered. I’ve seen him load carts, etc. I wondered if it was emotional or faith related. He seems very social, pleasant. Anyway I don’t assume I will know, but your sons comments tripped it again.
We may now return to our regularly scheduled topic – DJ’s wonderful son.
Thanks for sharing DJ. I would be proud at his young age he has been able to process things at his age. I think it is a life lesson on how to feel judged when you don’t fit the norm, but still have the inner strength to maintain his beliefs.
Hopefully you can reassure him that in time, others will see what he is talking about. There isn’t really a way to convince others about it until their eyes are opened to see it.
My daughter at BYU-Idaho is very much this way. She takes everything taught there on campus for face value without researching or thinking through alternate explanations, and she has a vast support system to discourage her from digging, so she doesn’t understand things I talk about, and can’t really talk about liberal thoughts like my other daughter can with me.
But…I think in time, she’ll figure it out. Like the other missionaries your son is dealing with, they have their support system to be faithful and exact in believing everything uttered by church leaders, and assuming doubting is apostasy. It just seems like given time, those people will have their beliefs buffeted by life’s lessons and will figure it out…or not.
Your son is just getting a lesson in believing what he feels in his heart is right, regardless of the great and spacious building filled with mormons pointing and mocking him. Tell him to hold fast to the rod of logic and reason…it will guide his path regardless of others.
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