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Rix wrote:
…the most important thing we can communicate to our children is that we love them unconditionally. No matter what…There will always be conflicting advice given by leaders, and they will make mistakes. But the most helpful thing we can do is to be there to hug them and let them cry on our shoulders when they need to.
“Amen brother” — wouldn’t it be nice if they would add that statement to the FTSOY pamphlet.
swimordie wrote:Obedience out of fear is an illusion of strength; true strength comes from having the emotional health to dictate one’s own life based on self-worth and self-love.
Yes! I totally agree with this. This is exactly what I feel the principle of the matter is…the rules the church is encouraging for the youth should have a meaning and a purpose so my daughter knows how to make up her mind about things and why. This is exactly what I’m trying to teach her!cwald wrote:Dating is:
1. Planned ahead of time.
2. A formal invitiation.
3. An activity in public where the two can interact. Not in the apartment.
4. He walks her to her door when the date is over.
So based on what you have described, clearly, according to Elder Oaks, she isn’t dating. Otherwise the young man would be calling her up and asking her out for an activity and dropping her off at the doorstep when returning her home. So tell that to your ward gossip alliance.
This is a great definition of dating. I think that has been one of the problems with this scenario, people don’t really know what to call dating, and the youth do a lot more texting, facebook, and hanging out that dating…so it seems my ward wants to try to regulate those activities…which misses the point, IMO. The principle should be to stay morally clean, spiritually strong, and prepare for healthy relationships in the future.
You also make a great point… one girl in the New Era was saying she is 18 and has never been on a date and wondered if she should wait until she is in college or not…my wife and I thought, to each his/her own…but the message shouldn’t be “avoid the opposite sex” and then think you can turn on the switch one day when you find the “right” person. It is a social skill, it takes practice, it should be fun, it should be righteous.
The point is, as times change, dating and social interactions change. We don’t need to turn the Word of Wisdom into creeping into soda drinks, and we don’t need to let youth standards creep into specific this or that. Teach correct principles and let the families govern themselves.
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