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Lately I’ve been kind of in a place where I feel the church is mostly a big lie. I don’t really enjoy much about it at all. But then recently I was asked to participate in a healing blessing for a close family member. I couldn’t say no, as it meant a lot to them, even though I am borderline worthy. Man, if I didn’t feel some spiritual power in that circle of men giving the blessing. Absolutely no denying it. I guess I don’t know what to think. I go from feeling almost ready to walk away from the church, to “wow, that was an incredible feeling” and I don’t know what to make of it. Does it mean the church is true, or just that providing spiritual service to those in need is powerful stuff? Does it mean anything?
I kind of think that anytime we are involved in good things we should get good feelings. Giving blessings is how we serve with the priesthood so out makes sense that we would feel good. I also think there is a power in group unity that combined with things of sentimental value can make us feel good. Think of singing a national anthem as a group. Or participating in a team activity.
I really don’t grasp the concept of the spirit. I believe in it’s power. I think I have felt it in times past but there are plenty of times where I think I can attribute that feeling to sentimental value or group participation.
Thanks for sharing Brown. I say cherish experiences like that, hold to them. What do they mean? You have to decide for your self but I choose to say these things are the reality and the love of God. When I feel comforted when I pray does that mean that a man named Nephi literally lived and traveled from the holy land to America? He may have but does my inner personal experience lend proof?
I try to take things for what they are, as far as I can tell at least – and not try to assign unrelated meanings. I try to take what I receive directly from God without excess coloring from my fellow men.
I love those experiences, even though they don’t happen every time I participate in a blessing. I love the fact that “we” believe in practices like that, where people get together and pray over someone. I love the principle that underlies it and the communal faith-joining it provides. Also, there have been a handful of times over the course of my life when I really do believe the heavens were opened, so to speak, and I caught a glimpse of what being a conduit for pure revelation really means. I really cherish those experiences – but I had to participate in the mundane many to taste those unforgettable few. Does it mean anything more than that – and is it possible elsewhere? Maybe, maybe not, but, deep down, I don’t care all that much if it does or doesn’t. I just appreciate the opportunity – and the fact that the opportunity is institutionalized in a way that gives me plenty of chances to be there for the special moments when they occur.
There really is a lot of unique beauty in this faith tradition – and the irony is that the more available we are to the beautiful, the more exposed we will be to the ugly. When we run away from the ugly, we also are, in a very real sense, rejecting the beautiful and settling for the bland.
Opposition in all things drives some people batty, but I’ve learned to appreciate the “fullness” of such a journey.
this thread makes me smile a very big smile. intellectually, the church has serious problems, and when we boil it down intellectually, it becomes vacant.
but spiritually, there is amazing power in the church. can’t deny it. absolutely there, present, and real. spirituality is not an intellectual concept — spirit is how we connect with others…it is primal, deep within us, the need to be part of others. the church gives many opportunities to connect, and when we connect, particularly in physical acts like blessings, we become one.
in those singular moments of connection, we are god.
in those singular moments, i know why i stay LDS.
Brown, your post here looked like it came from my journal circa 2010-11. wayfarer wrote:intellectually, the church has serious problems, and when we boil it down intellectually, it becomes vacant.
but spiritually, there is amazing power in the church. can’t deny it. absolutely there, present, and real.
^ This!
:clap: And that’s why I am still “active” in the Church.
Brown – That was beautiful. I could feel your spirit in the written words you shared with us. I understand the conflict. For me it was the spiritual experiences that compelled me to stay. I couldn’t fix or even understand all of the other challenges, but my heart did not want to let go of the spiritual moments. I felt a little Joseph Smith-esque because my soul seemed to say, “I knew it and God knew it. Who was I to deny (or betray) them.” They’d happened I couldn’t conjure them or re arrange them or anything. I will carry them with me forever, I hope.
I am thrilled for your remarkable experience. I know you will cherish it for years to come. Lucky you.
This is the reason that the Church is so hard to explain – and why it’s a tough sell. We’re in it because of the intangibles – if not our personal experience, then the experience of family, or an ancestor. But every once in a while, something like this happens, and you know you were in the right place at the right time. And very often, it’s tougher than explaining the church to a non-member to untie your experience from the framework of the Church.
Thanks for the feedback and kinds words. I think back to experiences like getting sealed to my family in the temple and I had the same feeling only stronger. But other times, like blessing my own baby, I didn’t feel much (other than stage fright). Usually it is when others are leading and I am just along for the ride as a fully willing participant. Maybe I don’t have enough faith, but I can latch on to others if I am in the right place with the right frame of mind.
Still trying to figure this out. I’m not a very spiritual person.
Quote:I’m not a very spiritual person.
Then don’t try to be. Ride others’ coattails in that arena and focus on the practical, social gospel of service and love.
In other words, be yourself and don’t try to be anyone else – or, if you are an oboe, don’t try to be a piccolo.
I think understand the feelings you describe Brown. I have felt the spirit (using the lds word). I have been sought out to give blessings because some say I seem to be able to see inside them. I don’t really understand it all. My latest feelings are that Joseph found and revealed something profound. It was not apostles and prophets and the book of Mormon. What Joseph did was reveal to the west that people could interact with God. Eastern religions may have already has done off that …have to get wayfarer to speak on that…but it was not so common in the west.
Personally I think Joseph may have been overshadowed by men wanting to bring structure to that which was not meant to be structured….do away with the structure and what do you have? People getting in touch with the primal good of the universe in behalf of one another…and becoming partners with god. Men like to mess it all up with rules and structure and power….that which is familiar to them. Heck that’s what the new Christians did back in 300 ad..made things more exciting by bringing in some of their idolatry.
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Old-Timer wrote:Quote:I’m not a very spiritual person.
Then don’t try to be. …In other words, be yourself and don’t try to be anyone else – or, if you are an oboe, don’t try to be a piccolo.
Thank you Ray. I would also call myself “not very spiritual” by nature. Very early in life I learned to distrust emotion, then as I grew up in the church I was always confused at the difference between “spirit” and “emotion” – and wondered if I would ever be able to distinguish between them. When people spoke of feeling the spirit in a meeting all I could usually say is people seemed to be getting emotional.
It is ironic how a faith crisis has helped me grow into my own sense of personal spirituality. The key for me was gaining the ability to say “my experience is not your experience” and be comfortable that it never would be. I am not an instrument that many church go-ers would write prominently into their favorite religiously themed symphony, but I know I have my place and I am comfortable with it. Maybe I’m like a gong, it can be horribly out of place when it’s wrong, but can be vital to the overall effect when the timing is right.
I just copied a post from my personal blog about the general topic and started a new thread about it. Wow Ray, your last post is why I come here again and again after searching the net for the comparable or alternatives, always coming back. For others that are new or just don’t recognize, the metaphor regarding being the instrument and playing in a “note/key” that best exemplifies your uniqueness is from the General Conference talk April 2008 “Concern for the One” Elder Joseph B. Whirthlin. He would pass away just eight months later, it is my belief it was his swan song address and not coincidentally just in time for the awakening of the age of the internet and the collide of Mormonism. These are definitely inspired words for our time. https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2008/04/concern-for-the-one?lang=eng
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