Overworked on callings

[Anonymous]

My comments are just thoughts. I’ve lived my entire life in the church. I’ve watched my callings and other peoples come and go. A couple of interesting things I learned. There are people who love their callings and I don’t think it’s merely a righteous, building of the kingdom only desire. I think the callings are gratifying on some personal level.

We have a man in our present bishopric who has served in ward leadership for some 16+ years. He’s been Young Men’s president, Elders Quorum President, High Priest group leader, now the bishopric. These were consecutive. He’s not a dynamic guy – just kind of mediocre in presentation. Nothing strong either way. But I think he actually likes the “opportunity to get away”. I come to this conclusion because his wife was my laurel advisor years ago. At the time advisors were encouraged to come to Wednesday night activities. Every week she would drag her 3 kids in their pajamas to activity night. She would be torn during the evening between caring for the kids and being apart of Young Womens. When I asked her about it she mentioned that Wednesday night was her husbands night to go the shooting range. I’ve watched them over the years. They appear to be the Utopian Ensign cover family. She supports, sustains, he leads in his dark suit. She’s at the pulpit every testimony meeting. From all appearance – him being overworked is a good thing. It may keep their lives afloat.

On another note I had a counselor in one of my presidencies who was to be released because her husband was called to leadership. She was so upset. Her biggest gripe was the release meant she lost her “girls night out” time that she had when we had meetings, etc to attend. Having the calling allowed her a purpose to get out, to mingle, etc. Again I don’t know how that worked, if he made her feel guilty or if she made going out guilty, but the calling provided the guilt free answer.

In short I don’t think every “over called” person feels over called. I have family members who love to be busy. It really does give them purpose. And I know as a leader I can easily desire to have someone who wants to give 180 to a calling. It relieves a lot of leadership struggle. It is such a hard call. There was a talk once in general conference, about ten years ago, that addressed the responsibility of the “callee” to pray about the calling. The speaker even said the “callee” had the option to answer yes or no. The talk didn’t get repeated often. I will look it up, but I remember our bishop at the time used it as a reminder to us to not pressure people. So some of local leaders get it, some have to staff wards, some see serving as a multiple opportunity. In short we each have to answer the Lord ourselves.

[Anonymous]

I agree — I have a friend who was a Bishop for 10 years in a transient Ward. I thought it was a hard calling. He never complained. I asked why. He said that he didn’t get much opportunity to be a leader or manage anything in his full-time career as a support worker in an elementary school classroom. So, being a Bishop filled that need, and kept him fulfilled for over 10 years.

However, that intrinsic motivation is not true with everyone. And I think the Ward and Stake leaders need to stay in touch with how their people are feeling, and their reasons for serving. There are tendencies to paint everyone with the same brush, and to develop cultural attitudes and values meant to keep people serving even when they don’t want to, or when it’s not longer right for them — for the good of the Church and not the individual — such as “never say no to a calling, don’t ask to be released, all calls are inspiration”…etcetera.

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