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One of the hang ups I’ve had while I’ve been rebuilding my faith is the patriarchal blessing. Mine was over 30 years ago, and while some of the stuff is just general good advice that could have been appropriately given to anybody (stay out of debt, for instance), I did believe that it was inspired and relevant. As part of my crisis of faith the blessing was scrapped with everything else. In fact, it plays an indirect part in the crisis. Looking back, I always wondered about some things, kind of odd advice that I wondered why it was in there and other things that just didn’t seem to be happening the way it’s laid out in there. As my world caved in around me during the crisis I realized that some things in there are just plain not true and correct – things that now that I am in my 50s are very unlikely to happen even though opportunity had been there in the past. I know there’s the clause about being faithful, but honestly I think that’s an excuse just like TBMs use when prayers are not answered (“You weren’t faithful enough” “It’s just not supposed to be right now” “God sees the big picture” etc.). The blessing does not have to play a part in my rebuilt faith, I don’t believe it to be a saving ordinance or even directly part of the gospel of Jesus Christ. But frankly it still bugs me.
I consider many of you here to be my friends even though we wouldn’t know each other if we met on the street. Share with me your thoughts on the patriarchal blessings.
Not surprisingly, my first response is to find an old thread that deals exactly with this topic – I think with the same title. 
Here it is:
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Patriarchal Blessings” ( http://forum.staylds.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=812&hilit=patriarchal+blessing Hi, DarkJedi – My patriarchal blessing is something that allows me to see “scripture” and “revelation” in a more realistic light. I see little sparks here and there. Some whopping errors, good intentions, unanswered questions, etc. I wonder, well, if this isn’t exactly what God wanted to tell me, does it still have clues. But I try not to get too bogged down in it. I really like mine. It’s long. It’s packed with things that make me feel special. It talks a bit about my children…pre-existance stuff as it relates to them…and how they will be once they are here. It mentions that I will have children who will require special effort. I always thought I would have a special needs child…but I have the opposite. I have very bright children…so much so that I am kept on my toes to make sure their minds are enriched and their talents exposed. I honestly can’t keep up with them.
š It speaks of my ancestors praying for me on both sides of the veil for a specific reason (though I have yet to find out what it is). I think that’s cool. I like to feel connected to my predecessors.
Some things seem like the regular fodder, but not all.
Sometimes it helps ME to read my PB from a different perspective. The above is an example…I prepared myself for a child with physical or mental handicaps…had I even thought to read my PB with the perspective of the other kind of “special needs”, I would have looked towards the future differently.
For me, I still like my PB. That’s not yet something I want to let go.
Would it help if you let a friend read it and and then let them comment on the blessing?
I love mine, frankly, but I want to share something that I learned recently. There is a phrase in my PB that has meant a lot to me over the years, since it applied so amazingly to my life in a way that couldn’t have been seen when I got the blessing. In talking with my siblings over the weekend of my father’s funeral, I found out that one of my brothers has the exact same phrase in his blessing – given by the same Patriarch. I have no idea if that was unique to us, but it might be a stock phrase that he used in lots of blessings.
What hit me when I heard my brother mention the phrase relative to his life (after the initial surprise wore off), and when he talked about how important it is now in his unique situation, is that I don’t care if it is unique to us or part of thousands of other blessings. It doesn’t lessen what it has meant to me in the past either way, and it would be stupid of me to throw away real meaning and power simply because it might not be unique wording. The “revelation” (understanding) I have received from contemplating it has been special – far more special than the wording itself.
I don’t believe the heavens part and the Patriarch speaks, comprehensively, exact words dictated by the Holy Ghost. I do believe, however, having had some really good discussions with Patriarchs whom I respect and admire, that they often get impressions of things that they put into whatever words make sense to them – exactly as has happened to me occasionally when I’m giving blessings. Sometimes those impressions are somewhat ambiguous, but sometimes they are so clear and different that I have been surprised to hear what I’m saying. Thus, I see a PB blessing as the best approximation of revelation possible given the avenue / conduit / speaker involved.
It’s a lot like I see scripture – not infallible, often wrong and sometimes filtered almost completely through personal prisms that hide nearly all of the pure message, but meaningful and inspired to various degrees.
Old-Timer wrote:There is a phrase in my PB that has meant a lot to me over the years, since it applied so amazingly to my life in a way that couldn’t have been seen when I got the blessing. In talking with my siblings over the weekend of my father’s funeral, I found out that one of my brothers has the exact same phrase in his blessing – given by the same Patriarch. I have no idea if that was unique to us, but it might be a stock phrase that he used in lots of blessings.
I assume that you neglected to tell us the phrase on purpose.
That reminds me a lot of the new name in the temple. When I first heard about it I thought that it was a revealing of the name that I was known by in the pre-mortal sphere. Later I found that all males that had their endowments on that particular day received the same name. The name is still special to me – but for different and less “supernatural” reasons.
One thing about the formalized process of PB’s that bothers me is that it overshadows and to a degree replaces natural PB’s. Let’s suppose that the missionaries were designated as official givers of blessings of comfort/health. They were given this role because not everyone has the MP in their home and everyone should have access to a blessing. Suppose over time the missionariesā blessings were thought to be better (more mystical/spiritual?) than those given by others and non-missionaries even felt somewhat that to give a blessing would usurp the role of the missionaries.
I would love for my dear, respected, and elderly grandparents to give me a Patriarchal/Matriarchal blessing of guidance/counsel before they die. Sadly, I believe them to be too vested in the current/modern system to be comfortable with the idea.
That’s interesting, Roy, since I sometimes give my children father’s blessings when they aren’t sick and simply ask for guidance of some kind – or before school starts – or when they are leaving home for college – or some other important time. I have mentioned to my wife the concept of mother’s blessings, with no mention of any Priesthood authority (even though I believe she was given the Priesthood when she went through the temple), but she isn’t comfortable yet with actually doing it – even though she understands and agrees in principle. I do agree that formal Patriarchal Blessings have eliminated blessings of counsel by fathers in many cases, and that is unfortunate.
Point well taken about father’s blessings. I was always under the impression that the root history of the patriarchal blessing was for those who did not have fathers to be able to give the blessing. I might be wrong, it wouldn’t be the first time, or that could be Mormon myth I picked up somewhere along the line. So those of you who have responded sound like your PBs have been fairly accurate and worthwhile. I don’t want to get into too much detail, partly for privacy and partly out of respect for those of you who do hold the PB to be sacred, but mine has some really wrong things. There is the general good advice, but there’s other stuff. My blessing promises the the career I choose (and it does specify that I get to choose) would, among other things, provide for my needs and those of my family, that it would be a help to my community, and that I would always be needed. I’m revealing stuff here that I have kept private, but part of my crisis of faith was brought about by an employment issue. For those who have followed my posts you will then realize that this must have been over 10 years ago and you’re right. Basically for the last 10+ years I have been either unemployed (like now) or under employed. This career has not provided for me and my family, it has not been a help to my community (although it could have been), nor does it appear I am needed. There are some other ones, too, I just felt I could throw that one out there since it’s the one that had the indirect impact on my crisis of faith I mentioned earlier.
I like the point made about it being like the scriptures (I have actually heard people refer to the PB as scripture specifically for the individual), and I do accept that most of the OT and BoM stories are not literal, and I get the parable teaching style. And I get that much of the NT and BoM are really the opinions of the individual writers and are not necessarily doctrine/gospel. My PB isn’t like that, though. It could actually be easily converted into a bulleted list. That’s where my struggle with it is. I could further divide that list into categories like “good advice” and “things that are going to happen,” and under the latter I could check off things that have and haven’t happened – some of which won’t happen at this point (like the career thing).
So, back to the OP, this bugs me. I have been having trouble reconciling this. Do I need to just leave it on the scrap heap? Do I just take the good advice and scrap the rest? I really am at a loss.
One thing that has always bothered my with the Patriarchal Blessing was the little talk the Patriarch has with the person before the blessing. He will chat with them, ask them about their family (if he does not already know the family), ask about schooling and their plans on the future. Then he incorporates this into their blessings. If they say they like math in school, heāll bless them to āmake great technological advancements for the benefit of the Lordā Now, it could be said that the Patriarch is just doing his homework, and thinking it out in his mind before going to the Lord for the blessing as they are instructed to do. But then others read the blessing, not knowing about the little chat beforehand, and say what a miracle it is that the Lord knew about his/her ambitions to be an engineer/writer/teacher etc.
And about the phraseology, my daughter had a phrase in hers that seemed very unique. But then she was dating a boy in our stake, and they shared patriarchal blessings (from the same patriarch) and he had the exact same phrase. Some say we are not to share our blessings. I wonder if it is so people do not find out that a lot them are almost the same from the same patriarch?
Quote:those of you who have responded sound like your PBs have been fairly accurate.
I think most of what’s in them can be interpreted in a way to make them accurate, especially when they are given at a young enough age that they influence the receiver (which I’m not saying is a bad thing) – but it helps to have an “in the next life” escape hatch.
š Fwiw, Sheldon, I don’t think the advice not to share them is about hiding similar phrases. I think it really is an idea that they are personal, not public. I agree, generally, with that distinction, so I don’t go around indiscriminately sharing lots of quotes or things from mine, but I have no problem quoting from it or talking about things in it in situations where I feel it is appropriate. For example, I didn’t share the actual quote from mine in the earlier comment simply because the phrase itself wasn’t relevant to the point I wanted to make.
Good points, Sheldon. I had been a member of the church about a year when I got my PB. I had never met the patriarch, we did have such an interview, and I never really saw him again. I moved out of that area a year later. Nevertheless, because I was a true believer, I thought it inspired but now, 30 years later and at least half that much wiser, I’m not so sure. As to your last point, maybe you’re right. I know there is the whole sacred spin on that which I alluded to earlier, but maybe it is along the same lines of why we really don’t share our new names. DarkJedi wrote:My PB isn’t like that, though. It could actually be easily converted into a bulleted list. That’s where my struggle with it is. I could further divide that list into categories like “good advice” and “things that are going to happen,” and under the latter I could check off things that have and haven’t happened – some of which won’t happen at this point (like the career thing).
So, back to the OP, this bugs me. I have been having trouble reconciling this. Do I need to just leave it on the scrap heap? Do I just take the good advice and scrap the rest? I really am at a loss.
My PB wasn’t that clear. The parts of it I remember declare lineage, talk about me serving a mission (even though I specifically told him that I did not want to serve), marriage in the temple, listening to the counsel of my parents, and forever being a servant in the kingdom.
If there are specific promises I must not have focused on them. Judging from your experience maybe my Patriarch was wise in his vague and unspecified blessings.
It makes me wonder what if any training or advice a new patriach might receive…. Along that same thought, I wonder if you might give better blessings as you get more practiced.
It seems as though there are different styles amongst patriarchs. I wonder if they ever get feedback from above. “We noticed that your blessings contain promises that the individual will live to see the second coming. Please stop making that promise.”
:angel: For the record, I got asked very little prior to my PB. Mother’s maiden name, whether I was endowed or not. But most of it is very vague, and much has come to pass – endowment, family history…
I’ve been told to stick to the scriptures. Good advice perhaps – one day I’m thinking of doing a reader’s guide to BoM.
I was very disappointed with my PB. The patriarch has been an honorary uncle in my husband’s family just about forever. He grew up with my father in law and they are like very close brothers. My PB was all about my husband and our family. What little it did mention of me was completely wrong.
I have re-read over the years just in case I was missing something important and my opinion has not changed.
Just looked at mine again… says I should look after sick and needy and give blessings. I’m happy to do that. It’s not me specifically, but as far as I’m concerned that’s the core of Christianity and I should pray more.
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